Subject: Frank Zappa
Author:
Posted on: 2015-03-14 09:04:00 UTC
Saint Zappa of Joe's Garage
Patron of: satire, general insanity, music.
Symbols: Sofas, Magical pigs, A guitar
feast day: September 19, the day he yelled at the PMRC.
On the day of feast, you shall rock out to Freak Out
Many of the greatest authors ever are, through the sheer unfairness of the universe, dead. Pterry is the most recent, of course. Now, when renowned and beloved religious figures die, they might get made into saints... so why not do the same with the authors we mourn?
I'm leaving theology out of it (though the idea of dead authors interceding with a Great Author to demand a better plot has a certain appeal...); this is a liturgical calendar without the liturgy. It's just for fun, in other words (though if it produces enough results, I might add a page to the Temple of All Faiths).
Here's the ones I've come up with:
Saint Zappa of Joe's Garage
Patron of: satire, general insanity, music.
Symbols: Sofas, Magical pigs, A guitar
feast day: September 19, the day he yelled at the PMRC.
On the day of feast, you shall rock out to Freak Out
Why not set aside an All Author's Day? I suggest a date where Shakespeare or Chaucer is dead.
How about Saint Brian of Redwall?
Patron of: Talking animals, vegetarian food
Symbols: The Swod of Martin the Warrior
Feast Day: 21st June (Midsummer's Day)
It is recommended to make a signature Redwall dish such as deeper'n'ever pie or shrimp and hotroot soup, and to spend the day playing riddle games and solving anagrams.
Saint Roddenberry of the Federation
Patron of: Science, exploration, diplomacy
Symbol: the Starfleet insignia
Feast Day: September 8th (premiere of Star Trek)
The adventurous honor Saint Roddenberry by drinking Romulan ale or Klingon bloodwine. The sane prefer Earl Grey tea.
~~~~~
Saints Gygax and Arneson, the Guardians of the Tabletop
Patrons of: games, chance, traps
Symbols: the Twenty-Sided Die
Feast Day: January 20th (1/20, twenty-sided die... if anyone can get a better date, I'm all ears)
Anyone who rolls a natural 20 during the games that accompany the feast day celebrations is believed to have good luck for the next week.
Patron of: Science, paleontology, diseases, fiction as fact.
Symbol: the Amber, the Sphere.
Feast Day: 11th June (The release date of the first Jurassic Park movie)
Marked by the serving of Chilean sea bass and fervent discussions about chaos theory.
Patron of: Detectives and investigators, deductive reasoning.
Symbols: A pipe, deerstalker cap
Feast Day: January 6th (Birthday of Sherlock Holmes)
Patron of: historians, warriors, lost causes.
Symbols: the Eagle, the Dolphin.
Feast Day: 24th August (date of the Sack of Rome in AD 410, the cause of the recall of Roman authority from Britain and the 'Rescript of Honorius').
At the darkest hour of the night, the followers of Saint Rosemary light their lanterns and keep the watch.
(Because seriously. Rosemary Sutcliff. The whole eight-book Eagle of the Ninth 'series' is amazing)
(I'm saved the depressing task of adding Susan Cooper by the delightful fact that she's not dead! Yay!)
hS
-that would be great. He deserves a place here. He wrote so many wonderful, amazing, incredible books, and was Cricket Magazine's Old Cricket, too. (Cricket is an American children's literary magazine, for those who don't know).
~DF
... Saint Lloyd would have to be patron of pigs. ;)
hS
Saint Diana of the Chrestomanci
Patron of: Imagination, witches and wizards, multiverses, fantasy containing alternate history.
Symbols: A book of 9 matches, some of them burned without having been removed.
Feast Day: October 28th (Start of the Witch Week).
And:
Saint Lewis of Wonderland
Patron of: Mathematics, tea, nonsense. Could have been patron saint of dodos, but it's a little late for that.
Symbols: Teacup, mushroom, a large hat with a price tag, Cheshire cat
Feast day: July 4th (the acknowledged date of the Golden Afternoon)
I also feel that C. S. Lewis should be sainted, but I don't feel confident enough to come up with the details myself.
Saint Diana is venerated by wearing a dressing gown all day, the more fancy the better. Whenever someone calls you by our name, you must go to them.
Saint Lewis is venerated by (of course) drinking tea, playing croquet and telling riddles to which there seemingly is no answer.
Patron of: religions, lions, children, people stranded far from home.
Symbols: the Lion, the Cross.
Feast day: 22nd October (Archbishop Ussher's date for the creation of the world)
Veneration of Saint The Other Lewis (AKA Saint Clive) is always a risky business; he is, after all, not a tame author...
hS
(I only recently read 'Howl's Moving Castle' and its sequels; it makes me sad to know that Saint Diana won't be writing any more. :()
I may or may not have been thinking of you, when I wrote that someone who knows C. S. Lewis better than me should totally write one for him. ^^
I love Diana Wynne Jones' books. Howl's Moving Castle and the Chrestomanci series were some of my absolute favourites when I was a child. And she attended lectures by both C. S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien in Oxford. She wrote a wonderful, funny piece about how Tolkien was as a lecturer; I think it's in the collection Everard's Ride.
Saint Tezuka of the Mighty Atom
Patron of: Nuclear-powered robots, spiky hair, anime and manga
Symbols: Oil, a White Lion
Feast Day: August 20 (Date of the airing of te last episode of the first Astro Boy anime.)
On the day of the feast, followers must meditate while watching the blue sky and listening to the soundtrack of "2001: A Space Odyssey", for the full duration of said soundtrack; at least once in the day.
The Blessed Banks of the Orbital
Patron of: Culture. Well, what else would he be patron of?
Feast Day: 11 July (release date of "Space Oddity"; an Arbitrary choice. [=)
Symbols: A silver ring, lit by stars