re: mission by
doctorlit
on 2024-03-16 13:06:50 UTC
Reply
Hm. That is a very embarrassing admission from Urato, and very presumptuous on his and Inasuke’s part to plan a vacation for that purpose. It would have been more mature of them to talk to Momoka and Kaguya beforehand to explain the situation, so they could all work together to come up with a better privacy system to use between the RCs. At the same time, Momoka shouldn’t be so worried about Kaguya’s “honor.” They’re both adults, and have a right to intimacy with each other; they haven’t done anything wrong!
I very much like Momoka’s speech about the benefits of being a PPC agent! She really lays out all the fun perks of the job, especially being able to be a geeky fan, and not having to hide one’s quirks due to the variety of cultures present.
One typo:
Momoka [. . .] were engaged in delightful conversation with an unintelligible, incensed Kaguya.
“was engaged,” since Momoka is just one person.
—doctorlit, happy the agents are seeing some progress on their ingredient list
Review! by
Linstar
on 2024-03-13 01:10:32 UTC
Reply
Interesting mission. I liked it, there were some great gags (clam hand!) but I felt as though you could have described the settings more. Now for typos!
"He was doing so all by his lonesome."
I think "...all alone." is better.
"Despite this, one need not worry for him; outside of the constant shocks with every pebble, twig and goldfish he picked up, he actually quite enjoyed the peace and quiet."
...goldfish?
"Sorry, Urato-kun," Momoka said. "Speaking of the vacation, where do you think we should go? Do you know any nice destination?"
*destinations
"Perhaps after the mission, she would commit seppuku with her kitchen knife." ...uh... maybe warn for that?
--Ls