Wait, do we do that?

Subject: Wait, do we do that?
Author: Terri Ryan, DOGA Archivist
Posted on: 2024-04-09 11:49:47 UTC

I feel like telling the Pyros to deal with something as abstract as "culture" is asking for trouble, myself; like everything else around here, it will end in fire. Which is fine when it's "uncanonical location", but the sort of fires you get when dealing with "that person shouldn't use that term" can be a bit... messy.

Are we positive this isn't what Madame Orchid has been up to all these years? I know the Handbook says the Department of Culture is defunct, but one does hear rumours... not Kayleigh's one about Madame Orchid being the same Orchid as the Nightshade's friend who reportedly died during the "Crashing Down" invasions, I'm sure I'd know if that were the case, but it's been a long time since I met anyone who actually knows what's going on down in the basements.

((I mean, we've got a Department of Culture, and an idea for a Department to deal with Culture... what's not to like? Agent Laurel of the "Phantom of the Opera Department" operated out of the basements back in my 'Woodsprite' mission, so they could have just been down there the entire time, slowly expanding their remit to become the "leave other cultures alone" department. Phantoms of the PPC, so to speak, though I know a few actual ghosts in the place who might object to that. ~hS))

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Hey guys, I have a new Infrastructure department idea by Kі nо Shirayuki on 2024-04-07 17:59:25 UTC Writing Reply

A Department of Apparel, concerned with the clothing of HQ inhabitants. Its function may be to design and distribute clothes, repair/alter existing clothes for agents, and/or provide laundry service. Agents in this department may be called Tailors. It would be headed by the Fleur-de-lis (who is by all means just a Lilium candidum, but does not appreciate being reminded of that).

Agents in the All-Purpose Department by Kі nо Shirayuki on 2024-04-17 17:09:05 UTC Reply

I notice they don't have a title yet, so I propose calling them Multitaskers.

I'd say it should be up to whoever is writing for that department, but I dunno if anyone is anymore. by Neshomeh on 2024-04-18 03:59:27 UTC Reply

Unless you're planning to?

I mean, I suppose I could ask Barid and Brightbeard, but they're not very helpful.

Barid: "See? I been tellin' you all dese years I'm an excellent multitasker! It's about time I be recognized for me genius!"

Brightbeard: *deep sigh* "Aye, and I been tellin' ye that's just a fancy word fer failin' at multiple things at once. Ye're nae a multitasker. Ye're not e'en a multitusker."

Barid: *gasp* "Words can hurt, mon."

So yeah, I don't know if it's necessary, but no objection if this is something you're planning to use.

~Neshomeh
That's not bad. (nm) by Linstar on 2024-04-17 20:19:19 UTC Reply

Speaking of Departments... by Linstar on 2024-04-09 16:12:21 UTC Reply

What about the Bad Role-Play Department's Bad Quizzes Division? Has anyone ever written for that, and what would a mission in that Division look like, I wonder?

--Ls

Well... by Zingenmir on 2024-04-10 06:02:21 UTC Reply

I used to have ideas about Quotev quizzes, but ultimately the only thing I did was have Jacques amuse himself by taking a bunch of Doctor Who and Torchwood ones. That was in...aha, here: the opener to "It's Cold Outside", co-written with Iximaz (the mission part has Jacques teaming up with Agent Ix and Charlotte). Link here because I don't have time right now to test my memory of the html (and I definitely don't remember the markdown): https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iq0-EwZ6r0UUGNr91tMaW-FOKbrge5E2vMfajyeByRk

~Z

Markdown for links is so easy. by Linstar on 2024-04-10 11:46:48 UTC Reply

Just brackets around link text, and parentheses around the link itself. Personally, I find the little formatting guide at the bottom of in-progress post pages to be a lifesaver when I very frequently forget such things.

--Ls is working on reading the mission for inspiration

Good to know! by Zingenmir on 2024-04-10 16:02:50 UTC Reply

Sadly, I didn't really have the time to go into the formatting guide and find what I needed - I was on mobile and in a rush. I do have the html version memorized, from, well, years on the Old Board where markdown wasn't an option, but I haven't had to use it in a while, so it wasn't coming to me right away anymore. So pasting in the link it was. As a co-worker said to me today (paraphrased), you can always go old school! That's an option! :P

~Z

Well, I very much liked the mission. by Linstar on 2024-04-10 20:27:34 UTC Reply

Good character work, it was lovely to see.

Anyway, I'll admit to having never actually figured out how to get images linked directly in the Board.

Maybe bad quizzes can be critiqued by taking them multiple times somehow?

--Ls

Building on the department idea, what flower would you like to see as an HQ Flower? by Kі nо Shirayuki on 2024-04-09 15:25:38 UTC Reply

For me, I think it would be amusing to have a Peony, a Cotton Rose (because it changes color; I suggested this many threads ago) or even a Rafflesia.

Uh, what do you mean by "HQ Flower"? (nm) by Linstar on 2024-04-09 16:03:45 UTC Reply

Cause "what flower would you like to see as a Flower" just sounds weird 🤣 (nm) by Kі nо Shirayuki on 2024-04-09 17:26:37 UTC Reply

...I still do not understand what you mean. by Linstar on 2024-04-09 17:33:15 UTC Edited Reply

Are we turning the Flowers into literal bouquets? Are we just naming plants that would be interesting as Flowers?

--Ls

The latter 😉 (nm) by Kі nо Shirayuki on 2024-04-09 17:35:25 UTC Reply

Well, I feel that character should come first. by Linstar on 2024-04-09 17:38:24 UTC Reply

I don't really see the point in making Flowers just for the sake of making Flowers; they should have a purpose in the story and the universe. What species they are isn't especially interesting to me.

--Ls

Have you considered... by Neshomeh on 2024-04-07 22:27:38 UTC Reply

How that fits with the existing Supply Depot, Quartermaster, General Store, pawn shop(s), New Cal shops, and Laundry Room(s)?

Personally, I suspect the Flowers don't care that much about supplying agents with anything other than the "standard" "uniform," which is already handled by the Supply Depot and/or Quartermaster. If anything, I could maybe see there being a division of Operations concerned with making or acquiring uniforms, but anything else might be an agent-led effort. I can definitely see skilled agents making/altering clothes for bartering with as a side-hustle, and/or setting up shop in New Cal. {= )

~Neshomeh

I certainly could see a Flower that loves fashion trying to create such a thing. by Linstar on 2024-04-08 11:43:59 UTC Reply

And perhaps being given a Division simply as a way to keep it out of the Board's hair, so to speak, in the same vein as the Shallot's Non-Propoganda Communications Division.

--Ls

Oh! If memory serves, there is one! by Neshomeh on 2024-04-08 18:15:18 UTC Reply

I'm not going to Fandom on mobile (and yes I know it's time for that conversation again), but what about Madam Orchid? IIRC she headed the "Department of Culture," which had to do with Phantom of the Opera and other Victorian settings. There wasn't much written about it or her, but I think there might have been something about her being, not a slave of fashion perhaps, but a ~~phan~~ fan?

Okay, stopping with the PotO jokes now. {= )

~Neshomeh

Following up on this, I may have been wrong about Madame Orchid. by Neshomeh on 2024-04-12 15:56:28 UTC Reply

Madame Orchid a) doesn't have a proper page, and b) is only described as wearing a dress in the one story linked from the Glossary (which sadly is not very good, IMO). I cannot confirm an actual interest in fashion, though I do think it's a fair extrapolation and a good joke, plus "Madame Orchid" sounds like a great name for a line of clothing. {= P I'm just afraid I might be confusing her with a different Flower now. ^_^;

~Neshomeh

Her details are indeed spotty. by Linstar on 2024-04-12 19:56:19 UTC Reply

Yeeah, that one mission she was in was... not great. It kept having SPaG flaws in the mission itself, and it was hard to tell when those ended and the badfic's began. The author's spelling of Mary Sue as "Mary sue" really annoyed me for some reason.

And yeah, Madame Orchid doesn't get much description in there. IMO, it would still be fun to use her for the proposed Department of Cultural Inaccuracies, as it's pretty similar to what she did previously. Fashion might work, too, though I do understand your reservations about having that as a department per se.

I don't know what Flower you would be confusing her for, but that might just be me and my limited knowledge of Flowers. I need to read more PPC spinoffs.

--Ls

That gave me a joke department idea (not a real suggestion): by Kі nо Shirayuki on 2024-04-09 00:59:56 UTC Reply

Department of Weeabooism, headed by the Yamato Nadeshiko (Dianthus superbus)

I could see that as a real thing. by Linstar on 2024-04-09 01:09:50 UTC Reply

If the Department takes on Japanese culture where it doesn't belong, a la Kiacstu, though that sounds more like a Division-level operation.

--Ls

I think the DoGA might also clean up foreign cultures where they don't belong by Kі nо Shirayuki on 2024-04-09 02:10:35 UTC Reply

so the Weeaboo/Fangirl Japanese Division can be part of it.

Yeah, that'd be the Department for it. (nm) by Linstar on 2024-04-09 11:36:41 UTC Reply

Wait, do we do that? by Terri Ryan, DOGA Archivist on 2024-04-09 11:49:47 UTC Reply

I feel like telling the Pyros to deal with something as abstract as "culture" is asking for trouble, myself; like everything else around here, it will end in fire. Which is fine when it's "uncanonical location", but the sort of fires you get when dealing with "that person shouldn't use that term" can be a bit... messy.

Are we positive this isn't what Madame Orchid has been up to all these years? I know the Handbook says the Department of Culture is defunct, but one does hear rumours... not Kayleigh's one about Madame Orchid being the same Orchid as the Nightshade's friend who reportedly died during the "Crashing Down" invasions, I'm sure I'd know if that were the case, but it's been a long time since I met anyone who actually knows what's going on down in the basements.

~T

((I mean, we've got a Department of Culture, and an idea for a Department to deal with Culture... what's not to like? Agent Laurel of the "Phantom of the Opera Department" operated out of the basements back in my 'Woodsprite' mission, so they could have just been down there the entire time, slowly expanding their remit to become the "leave other cultures alone" department. Phantoms of the PPC, so to speak, though I know a few actual ghosts in the place who might object to that. ~hS))

I like the idea of a Department that operates in the basement, unbeknownst to all others. (nm) by Linstar on 2024-04-09 16:06:54 UTC Reply
💡 That's it, a Department of Cultural Aberrations! by Kі nо Shirayuki on 2024-04-09 13:48:56 UTC Reply

Exclusively dealing with bad cultural depictions. It can have a Weeaboo Division. Don't know what its agents would be called.

I dunno if I like "Aberrations" that much. by Linstar on 2024-04-09 16:05:50 UTC Reply

Maybe call it "Cultural Misplacement" or something?

--Ls

I think "misplacement" is too narrow by Kі nо Shirayuki on 2024-04-09 17:30:51 UTC Edited Reply

I envision a department that not only cleans up misplaced culture but also inaccurate cultural representation that doesn't involve misplacement as well (e.g. onigiri being confused with sushi).

That's getting too pedantic tbh. by Lily Winterwood on 2024-04-10 02:07:34 UTC Reply

"nigiri" is simply the verb for holding/molding. Nigiri sushi is sushi that is molded (into the little blocks) and onigiri is a big thing that is molded. There's not a fic-breaking chasm that would crack open if you got the two wrong.

Onigiri versus jelly donuts, though, is just hilarious bad localisation.

~Lily, who recently changed kibi-dango to onigiri in her retelling of Momotaro to 8 year old Taiwanese children because we don't need to get into all the itty-bitty details between different rice-based snacks when the whole point is that Momotaro eats something special that gives him superpowers.

Also, FYI, the Department of Technical Errors historically covers this kind of thing. by Neshomeh on 2024-04-11 19:47:03 UTC Reply

But only in the presence of masses of them and/or larger canon-breaking offenses. And if you (general) haven't read any DTE missions yet, shame on you! {; P

And there's the Department of Improbabilities, too. No one ever got a handle on exactly what they do; IIRC it was WhatThe before there was WhatThe?

~Neshomeh, still not on PC.

Well, yeah, DTE is great. by Linstar on 2024-04-11 22:28:13 UTC Reply

I really should read more DTE missions, so as to reduce the shame on me. scuttles off to Mara's wiki page

That said, I do think it's reasonable to have separate departments for cultural problems and SPaG errors. Maybe they've been split off at some point in the last eleven years (the most recent DTE mission is from 2013, sadly)!

As far as I can tell from the wiki page, the Department of Improbabilities covers stuff that's weird but not as flat-out facepalm-inducing as WhatThe, maybe the like of strange crack ships that technically could occur but likely wouldn't, as opposed to (for example) randomly shipping characters from different universe while changing their personalities entirely. I dunno, really, if that's much of a difference, but I guess it's something. Could be kinda funny to reference how improbable it is that they're both in existence in a mission.

--Ls' thoughts on these departments

[sheepish look] by Huinesoron on 2024-04-11 23:15:00 UTC Reply

The reason there's both an Improbabilities and a WhatThe is that I was too eager to start a new department rather than thinking about which old ones I could revive. Improbabilities would have been perfect for the original WhatThe missions.

Oops.

hS

If it means anything, I personally prefer WhatThe's name. (nm) by Linstar on 2024-04-11 23:23:01 UTC Reply

I was also thinking of something like sushi in Middle-earth or some such nonsense. (nm) by Linstar on 2024-04-10 11:39:40 UTC Reply

Tolkien did construct a word for seaweed. by Lily Winterwood on 2024-04-10 12:40:42 UTC Reply

So like, I could definitely see Elves from Lindon (or even the Teleri) eating raw seafood wrapped with seaweed. It wouldn't be called sushi or sashimi ofc, but the concept could exist.

~Lily, who once constructed a neo-Khuzdul word for "bonsai"
I read a LotR fic where samurai are explicitly mentioned by Kі nо Shirayuki on 2024-04-10 12:24:15 UTC Reply

and Japanese mythology terms, not conlanged terms based on Japanese, literal Japanese terms are used. It's abandoned at one chapter, and I read it thinking "this is essentially an original story masquerading as a LotR fanfic lol". I sadly lost the link.

Don't forget Suekura. *shudders* (nm) by Linstar on 2024-04-10 20:28:27 UTC Reply

I feel like "Aberrations" is too strong, though. Maybe "Inaccuracies"? "Misrepresentation"?(nm) by Linstar on 2024-04-09 17:35:35 UTC Edited Reply

Yeah, let's go with that by Kі nо Shirayuki on 2024-04-09 17:41:01 UTC Edited Reply

DoCI is a nice initialism too. What Flower should be its head? (I'd reserve the Dianthus superbus for the Weeaboo Division)

Why not just use Madame Orchid, like hS suggested? by Linstar on 2024-04-09 17:45:56 UTC Reply

I think a continuation of the Department of Culture would entirely make sense for this. If you're curious, here's her wiki link. I think something could definitely be done with this.

--Ls

I have an idea. The agents coule be called Scholars, or some other academic word. (nm) by TheBefuddledBookworm on 2024-04-09 15:50:33 UTC Reply

Ooh, that's a good term. (nm) by Linstar on 2024-04-09 16:03:10 UTC Reply

Oh, right! by Linstar on 2024-04-08 18:49:08 UTC Reply

I think I remember seeing her mentioned back when I discussed creating a Flower to head the Troll division. I don't remember reading the stories she's in, but that might well be a good idea to read them.

--Ls

And I assume they run the Laundry Room? by Linstar on 2024-04-07 22:15:40 UTC Reply

I like this idea, but maybe there is another oneoff Flower that could head it that would be interesting to incorporate here? I'd assume that they've been created sometime after the Reorganisation, of course. Maybe I'll write something for this department, though I'd prefer to let you establish things first, as this is your idea.

--Ls, with some random thoughts
I like this idea. Now I want to invent one of these Tailors. (nm) by TheBefuddledBookworm on 2024-04-07 21:13:04 UTC Reply

Make it a fashion themed Power Rangers monster of the week, because that sounds fun. (nm) by Bognil’s other computer on 2024-04-07 21:21:42 UTC Reply

That's a fandom I have no knowledge of, so I don't think I can. by TheBefuddledBookworm on 2024-04-07 21:50:59 UTC Reply

I'm thinking more along the lines of an amateur seamstress who doesn't know how she got into this crazy job.

Also, hi! I'm Book. I haven't seen you here before. I took a year-long hiatus, and now I am back for an indeterminate length of time.

And let us hope that this indeterminate length of time is a long one! (nm) by Linstar on 2024-04-07 22:17:15 UTC Reply
That’s ok, and if you feel like making both with my advice down below, feel free! by Bognil’s other computer on 2024-04-07 22:05:56 UTC Reply

What matters most is the monster of the week part, keep it wacky, out there, filled with puns, and most importantly, non-human,

If you really want to write this idea, Bognil, why not try for Permission and do it yourself? (nm) by Linstar on 2024-04-07 22:16:40 UTC Reply

You know, I actually have completed the permission self check so I might do that. (nm) by Bognil’s other computer on 2024-04-07 22:33:13 UTC Reply