Subject: The Department of Redundancy Department reacts.
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Posted on: 2015-01-26 11:21:00 UTC

"Hmm."

Rosalind looked over at her colleague curiously. "That's unusual," she said, "by which I mean that it's perculiar, or even simply odd, that you, Agent Haar of the Department of Redundancy Department, should make any noise at all, particularly one which is interrogative, speculative, or otherwise thoughtful, such as the one which you did in fact just make."

Haar reverted to type, simply staring at Rosalind. Above his eye, a green light flickered blue for a moment, then settled on a shade of pink that was alarmingly close to urple.

Rosalind coughed. "So," she said, "might I ask or inquire as to what you were commenting on, or speculating on as it may be?"

Haar held her gaze, and a string of red lights down the side of his face came on in sequence. He held out a sheaf of paper, fresh from the printer. "This."

Rosalind took the papers and leafed through them (three times, naturally). "Ah, Agent Rina Dives of the Department of Mary-Sues, and her partner, Agent Randa Roan of the Department of Mary-Sues, have sent us several messages or communications from their current mission." She checked the notes a fourth time. "Yes, quite a few letters, emails, and informative communiques."

Haar, naturally, said nothing.

"Well, come along, Haar," Rosalind said, putting the papers firmly on the desk. "We are needed and required in an unaccustomed manner, one which we have seldom been asked to operate - we are, in point of fact, needed in the field."

Haar usually stared at her, but this time the stare seemed more incredulous than usual. An array of green lights on his forehead seemed to flicker out a hundred games of tic tac toe before he finally said, "... what?"

"With a case or mission as serious and over-the-top redundant as this, the one Agents Rina and Randa have sent us," Rosalind said, "there is the potential for possible redundancy-related catastrophe and disaster! Why, one time, on one mission one day, Agent Starwind Rohana found herself duplicated not once, not twice, but three times, so that there were four of her, all identical, and her partner, Agent Estelnar Celebduin, who works with her, was trapped and stuck in a thirty-second half-minute temporal time loop which kept replaying for thirty seconds! All of which," she concluded, "could have been avoided if Agents Starwind Rohana and Estelnar Celebduin had bothered and remembered to inform us, the Department of Redundancy Department, of the redundancy which plagued their mission and cause all the problems which I have explained to you."

Haar continued to stare at her. Then he pulled another sheet of paper out of the printer and handed it to Rosalind. "No."

"No? What is the meaning which you intend by-?" Rosalind read the sheet, which was a standard notification that Agents Rina and Randa had successfully killed their target and returned to HQ. "Oh. Well... oh."

hS

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