Oh, wow. That was hilarious, Iximaz. Very enjoyable to read, and the ending...wow.

Well done!

~DF

What really frustrated me when I read this nightmare of a wish-fulfilling "story" is the waste of good ideas.

Although he still loves Ginny, Harry has to marry another woman, because (insert believable magical reason that cannot easily be overcome here); how will Harry, Ginny and the OC deal with this? But the Sue had to remove any potential conflict by pretending that Ginny cheated on Harry, and she is probably under the illusion that she doesn’t still need to come up with a good reason for this marriage when Harry is single again.

James survived Lily’s death and still doesn’t look like the jerk he appeared to be in Severus Snape’s memory because (insert plausible escape story here); how does he cope with the loss, and how will his survival influence Harry’s life? But the Sue just wanted Harry’s daddy back and removed at least half of his redeeming qualities by not telling us the back story.

Sirius had a pregnant wife, or a wife and a small child, when he volunteered to be the Secret Keeper; how did his daring actions affect his family? (Alternatively, Sirius found love when he was on the hunt for Wormtail, it depends on how old his son is supposed to be.) But the Sue just wanted to make Sirius happy after resurrecting him for no apprehensible reason. (Her main story could easily be told without involving Sirius, and without involving James.)

Since he couldn’t find any other place to live in, Remus moved in with his best friend’s son; the Dursleys are not amused when he tries to take in his uncanonical daughter. But the Sue became distracted before she could be introduced to the landlord.

The forbidden love between a Metamorphmagus and a Quileute tribe person creates a shape shifter of capabilities never seen before; can she integrate in either society? This Twilight crossover is farfetched, but it is still more plausible than making Teddy Tonks female, old enough to marry Harry, able to metamorph into a big guy twice her weight and capable of transforming into cats of any size. Being something like the American third cousin once removed of Remus Lupin’s canonical wife (there has to be another Metamorphmagus in her family) would still be sufficient to meet Harry and become involved into the main plot.

Instead of all the plausible potential conflicts we get
• the Sue staring down Dudley for a perceived insult, when she should be glad that somebody already realized that she has to be Harry’s girlfriend and future wife;
• some random gangsters who don’t look like Death Eaters trying to torture Harry’s whereabouts out of James and Sirius when Harry isn’t actually difficult to find;
• and a potentially evil stepmother-to-be coming out of the blue to take the Sue to the hospital when she should be capable to go there on her own

Gaah, I’m overanalyzing this mess, and that’s far less funny than your mission.

HG

When the Sue turned into the "Loin," I almost laughed out loud in the middle of class, which is a good sign.

Well. You found yourself an interesting little fic there, didn'tcha?

Firstly, I love this sentence:

It looked vaguely like a street, if someone described a street to a blind man so he could draw said street with a broken pencil held in his non-dominant fist before proceeding to erase his work.

This is now officially my favorite description of generic, un-described fic space ever.

And I guess I semi-agree with others that this one got a little MST-like, but really, the fic speaks for itself, so that was probably the most efficient way to write this. ("Ha ha, I'm the daughter of a werewolf and my name is 'wolves' spelled backwards, and I turn into CAAAAAATS.")

And I love no, that's the wrong word for this situation. I . . . am amused by the way you made the "loin" thing look like it was just a one-of joke, but then spring it on the agents later in the worst possibly way. You handled it in a simple, discreet way that was simultaneously hilarious and horrifying.

So good work dealing with something unusually bizarre!

"I'm not that good of a writter [sic], some stories may not make sense to some of you but it does for me, my friends and family that's all I care about. I see it this way you don't like you don't need to read. Yes I can be rude but only if your rude with me. So that's all I have so far."

--Her profile. All of this is so very classic stereotypical Suethor I don't know if that trollfic comment is too far off. The mission was much more fun.

This reminds me of that one trollfic my Floaters team tackled for their second mission together. Yeesh.

I didn't read this particular fic prior to reading the mission, and I'm glad for that now. The 'Loin!Sue' near the end was my favorite part. XD

Excellent work, Iximaz! *head-pat*

Also, Neshomeh, if you're reading this, how do I get permission to edit the front page of the wiki?

(And thus we see where the department gets its name. ^_^)

That was one of those badfics that doesn't even try to be a fic - just bad. Your style here is very MST-y - I can't remember whether it was in your previous missions, I'm afraid - which... well, I'm generally fairly solidly against extensive quoting, but in this case it's almost justified. That's because it's not so much the events that are bad here - not until that final section, anyway - but just the writing as a whole.

And yeah, Mirg made me laugh. :D

hS

Just from your sporking, it's clear that this badfic deserved all zero reviews that it got on FFN.

I pray that it never gets a single one.

About the mission itself, though:

First of all, what happened to the bit characters? It seems that the Sue created quite a few. (Destiny, Sirius JR/Sirius Jr) Don't those usually get disposed of as well?

Secondly, a rare double error.
“What, you’re not gonna charge for the Pluralpostophe?” Randa asked.
First of all, a spelling error: you forgot an R; I believe your portmanteau was meant to be spelled "pluralpostrophe."
Second, the technical term for an apostrophe being used before a pluralizing S is "greengrocer's apostrophe." I don't know if you didn't know that before or were just trying to be funny, but as they say,



Either way, good mission, and hopefully someone comes up with some solution for poor Rina before she starts going flamethrower-crazy!

You did a good job handling what was an incredibly broken story, and the bit with the Sue's final form made me chuckle. Nice work, Iximaz. Very well - and deservedly - sporked.

Your spork was wonderful. As wonderful as it can be in the circumstances.

OH BY ALL THE SPIRITS OF CANON WHY THIS MONSTROSITY WHY

Great, now I've contracted the CAPSLOCK OF RAGE from it. Well, it's more like a Capslock of Horror, under these circumstances.

So much horrible why

>_

I was wondering when this would be up! The source material was just...ugh. Perfect spork material, and you handled it admirably. Keep it up!