I like your Soul Collector story, you've got some really nice ideas for the setting in there. I particularly the image of a bunch of Collectors all trying to pick the lock to get at a guy that's sealed himself up.

Good choice of music to go with it too - I saw the document title as the youtube page was loading and instantly knew what song I'd pick.

There's a few grammar issues, mostly sentences that seem to go on for far too long - the last sentence of the first paragraph is over half the length of the paragraph, and could easily be broken up into 2 or 3 sentences. He's supposed to be talking to the reader, and doubt I could talk for that long without having to stop for breath. There are a few others sentences like that too.

While not technically incorrect, there are a couple of points where it feels like you're missing emphasis. For example, 'You see I’m a Soul Collector, not the Soul Collector' - I don't know much about this guy's character, so maybe he wouldn't put any inflection on those words, but if it had been me saying it I would have stressed them.

Also, near the beginning he says 'you see I made a deal with the devil, yes there’s a devil and yes I made a deal with one', then toward the end he refers to 'this guy we call Lucifer, whether he’s the devil himself or not we don’t care'. That seems contradictory - first he's telling us that the devil is definitely real, and that he made a deal with him, and then he's telling us that he's unsure if Lucifer is the devil or not. Surely he'd know whether or not the guy he made the deal with was Lucifer or someone else?

It's a cool idea, and I'd certainly read more of it. If you do decide to write any more, and want a beta, let me know.

What the heck did I just read? >.>