What a journey! It took me eight hours to read this, and I feel I should read it again to appreciate all details. That’s a good thing. I don’t expect to understand nearly 100 pages of foreign language on first read, and I want to read it again. But I don’t have much time, and although positive feedback is important, there are more important things to say.

Rasheeda should have her C-CAD checked. Apparently it doesn’t always succeed in stabilizing the agents in third person past tense (in Acts 2+3):

“The Stu’s off to school with the rest of the gang,” she said, taking the steak and tearing off a piece with my teeth.

The glowing Alpha Male had resumed his human form, and attempt to blow the group up with a Pea Turret — a super-deformed, pea-green Turret that was somehow explosive. I opened up a portal and rushed us through, shutting it just as the Pea Turret exploded.

Rashida facepalmed at this supposed Reveal. “They should’ve prepared for something like this if they’d known that Stratogale was the daughter of Splashdown and Apogee,” I muttered.

Rashida was too groggy to react to Falchion’s pronouncing the parentheses, but she sat bolt upright the moment I heard the author’s Tumblr username.

Did Falchion get a temporary genderbend?
She hesitated, trying to comprehend the meaning of this statement. “Huh,” she said finally. “You have a point there. If the author has interest in feet and tickling, then logically I also have an interest in feet and tickling. Guess that explains why I taped those scenes earlier.”
Or is this Rasheeda speaking and “I” should be “you”?


Is there a word missing in Acts 4+5:
A moment later, she scrambled for cover, with the mini with one hand and dragging her partner behind her with the other.

Concerning the mini Jurasic park: As far as I know, there can be only one mini of any name. If the same misspelling is found in another fic, then the mini has been abducted from its home, and the Sue or wraith can be charged for this (there are multiple examples of this happening). Jurasic park is Caddy-shack's Jurasic park and should be sent back to Cadmar.

HG

And as promised, here's Sarah's bio for your appraisal! Constructive critique is much appreciated as usual :)
For reference for her appearance and such, her profile from the fic she was created for can be found here.

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Name: Sarah Katherine Squall
Aliases: “Stratogale”
Species: Human (Super)
Home Continuum: The Incredibles
Department: Floaters
Age: 16
Lust Object/s: TBA
Favorite characters: TBA

Appearance
Being from the only Pixar continuum with humans as the main characters, Sarah is the first truly human agent in RC #227. She’s 5’2”, 110 pounds, lean but quite athletic with wide shoulders and well-defined upper body musculature. Her hair is jet-black and styled in a ponytail, and her eyes are Egyptian blue. Her current Supersuit is now 100% cape-free (see the History section below), with a dark blue torso region and a silvery “strap” across her chest, which frames a purple circle at the center which contains the logo of her family, the Galeforces (from her homefic, see the History section again). Her gloves, boots, and belt are also silver, and her uniform sleeves and pants are the same purple as her insignia. Instead of a cape, she has red and blue wing vanes on her shoulders and boots that help her maneuver in flight and can be folded away to avoid snagging (especially now that PPC hammerspace technology is involved). Her casual gear is much more cosmopolitan, with a red-orange shirt with brown sleeves, blue jeans, and white sneakers with red and blue accents; she also wears a maroon long-sleeved T-shirt with a silver eagle decal on the front on occasion.

Powers
Being one possible definition of the canonical bit character, Stratogale (see the History section), Sarah has three superhuman powers, all of which are known to have been possessed by Stratogale in canon.
First, Sarah is capable of flight, the mechanics of which aren’t specified in canon but presumably similar to Superman and other comics heroes (which isn’t particularly surprising, considering that her home continuum is an homage to superhero comics in general). While not capable of supersonic flight, she can fly at least as fast as a commercial airliner, and is capable of withstanding the G-forces faced by most fighter jet pilots by extension. She is not very maneuverable when airborne, however, and while more agile than other characters when both grounded and hovering, she is terrible at cornering when flying at top speed.
Second, Sarah’s status as an interpretation of Stratogale has given her super-strength comparable to Mr. Incredible. Because of the variance in ability manifestation demonstrated in her homefic, however, Sarah’s strength works somewhat differently from the canonical Super. Her author’s headcanon for her strength is as follows: in contrast to Bob’s raw muscle power, Sarah relies on kinetic force to back up her blows. While she needs to move her attacking appendage at a significant velocity and is normally as strong as an average human (albeit capable of lifting her own weight from a standing start), when she does put inertia to use, the momentum is boosted exponentially. The forward thrust from her fist going at 20 mph is converted by the properties of her ability to a proportional multiplication of the resultant force, allowing her to punch through plate iron after a few good rounds. This super-strength variant meshes well with her flight ability, as her increased maneuverability means her whole body is often moving quickly with each strike, her offending limb only adding to the velocity; at terminal velocity, she can deliver a dive-bombing punch or stomp that can smash a crater in a concrete sidewalk. Her bones and muscles are of course highly resistant to the kinetic forces this property entails as well as blunt-force impacts in general, a useful trait for someone who tends to crash-land more than she likes to.
Finally, Sarah is capable of speak with birds (again, from her corresponding bit character). This property has been rendered mostly irrelevant around avian and ornithanthrope agents (such as her own adopted brother, Falchion), courtesy of the Universal Translator; however, for occasions when she needs to communicate with avians in continua that don’t revolve around anthropomorphic creatures, it can come in fairly useful. She was able to learn the dialects of at least six different clades, along with the specific speech patterns of at least ten different species, prior to her canonical death, and she is currently broadening her studies to the languages of avians from other continua as well.

History
Sarah first came to life as a major character in a mega-crossover, which was partially written by the same author who created Falchion. This mega-crossover primarily took place within the continuum of a prominent Pixar movie, The Incredibles, and the story in question focused on the idea of some of the lost Supers mentioned in the movie being resurrected. Unfortunately, this particular fanfic turned into a series of consecutive disasters as more and more continua got dragged in for no good reason. Ironically, the concept of Super revival was both interesting and fairly well handled given the horrific context, and cloned Supers themselves were considerably more tolerable characters than certain others who were trotted in later on.
Sarah herself is based on Stratogale, a canonical bit Super who died while rescuing a commercial airliner when her cape snagged on a turbine. Because she was based on a bit character with very little development to begin with, she, along with the other cloned Supers, was given a personality that was fleshed out surprisingly well throughout the story, despite the escalating stupidity of the fic itself. Established as the daughter of two other Supers, one killed by another cape snag and another by Syndrome’s Operation Kronos, she basically kept everyone’s development going strong, even with the sudden arrival of a Gary Stu who claimed to be her biological brother and later derailed the fic altogether, all the while pursuing her close friend, the canonical Violet Parr, as a love interest.
Agents Falchion and Rashida discovered Sarah while venturing into this particular badfic on their first mission, during which Falchion began recalling experiences as the fic’s “heroic” Stu. Although she did not know the truth until much later, Sarah actually interacted with Falchion several times throughout the mission, as his disguise was virtually identical to said Stu. This came to a head when Falchion was forced to kill both the Stu and a dinosaurian Character Replacement of Violet on his own; with Rashida incapacitated due to stress overload, Falchion managed to convince Sarah to assist him with Not!Violet in particular, though this would later come back to bite him when she witnessed the deaths of both remaining Suvian characters and mistakenly thought that Falchion had murdered her brother. Falchion was able to clear up this misunderstanding, however, and Sarah eagerly accepted his offer to work for the PPC as a token of gratitude for her help.
Sarah is currently staying with her rescuer and his partner while the Flowers are deciding which department she is to be ultimately assigned to. She also has plans to visit her noncanonical family during the next holiday season, and still exchanges regular correspondence with Violet, whom she is still good friends with.

Personality
Sarah is a cheery and outgoing but headstrong girl who prefers to solve her problems with her fists. Given her history of squaring off against a wide variety of threats, such a predilection would have been vital to her survival back in her homefic. She has yet to learn that this behavior may not be the ideal choice for an environment such as the PPC HQ, where socialization with other Agents is strongly encouraged, but the PPC is all about giving poorly written characters a beatdown, and it’s hard to find someone more eager to take up the task. Though Sarah likes to metaphorically keep her head in the clouds, she’s still an excellent source on how to handle terrible fanfiction, being a former badfic character herself. She’s also blessed with a great sense of humor, and enjoys joking about the random things that poor writing may inadvertently do to the Word World during missions.
The biggest problem most people have with Sarah’s character is that she is as obstinate as she is strong. It’s a bit of a chore to convince her to change her course of action when she’s in a good mood, and when enraged she’s nothing short of inconsolable. This can lead to her rushing into things too quickly and often without thinking sensibly, which in turn earns the ire of many of her peers, especially those who prefer to actually sit down and think of the best way to handle the situation; in general, while her affable demeanor allows her to make friends quite easily, her recklessness and immaturity can lead to her making enemies just as quickly. She isn’t oblivious to her “Leeroy Jenkins”-esque temperament, however, and she often feels rightly guilty whenever her actions have unforeseen and often horrific consequences. Her reliance on reckless brute force also belies a deep sense of caring, and she’s willing to respect those who are there to cool her down if the situation calls for it. Her headstrong attitude (along with any repercussions thereof) is in fact more than welcome as far as character development is concerned, and may even serve as a benefit in the right circumstances, as long as her allies can keep her protected as she forges ahead.

Sexuality and Kinks
While Sarah has yet to explore any explicit subject matter (Heaven forbid she gets a Bad Slash mission), she IS familiar with at least one fetish, courtesy of her author, although her experiences with tickling back in her homefic were in no way sexual. She’s a committed switch-tickler and very merciless when on the offensive, where she can best put her super-strength to use when restraining her victims. On the flipside, her feet are somewhat larger than average and extremely sensitive, and it’s not hard to reduce her to a giggling mess simply by teasing the pads of her toes. The playful nature of such scenes in her homefic means she enjoys receiving the tantalizing sensations just as much as she loves dishing them out, and this is one of the quickest ways of cheering her up when she feels depressed.
Sarah is straight, through and through, and even has an uncanonical boyfriend, Wendell “Stryclone” Zuckerman, in her home continuum. Being a dominant type of character who prefers to lead the way if given the choice, she prefers her ideal partner to be submissive but also caring and dedicated to her safety the way Stryclone is.

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Just two things: 1) Can an agent be friends with a canon? I know Chilever and Winston befriended a canon from Les Miserables at one point. And 2) can an agent wear their supersuit or canon-appropriate outfit during missions where a disguise is not required, or do they have to go with a PPC standard uniform?

Thanks in advance, folks! I eagerly await your response. :)

As I said when I commented on the first half, you continue to do an excellent job juggling the sheer bulk of canons and characters that had to appear on-screen in this mission. You show the reader the sheer amount of complication that's intertwined, but still keep the actual mission's story plowing forward through it all. There's one spot where this causes a problem: letting replacement!Ludlow die without being charged, which is stated in the original series to let the killed character's legacy to continue influencing canon. However, I don't see this particular instance to be too much of a problem. Replacement!Ludlow had the least effect on the story compared to the other three Suvians, his characterization was so "generic villain" that he barely resembled the canon Ludlow, and you described a very thorough neuralyzation and disentangling job at the end, which would have wiped any remaining influence from replacement!Ludlow out of the story. Next time, though, be sure to charge OCs that get offed, and preferably do the offing yourself; I know this story got complicated, but that is part of the agents' Duty.

Getting back to that epilogue, you did a good job of communicating the sheer time the agents had to put in to disentangling everything without turning it into a rote list of, "and then they did blah and then they did bleh and then they did bluh." I like that you involved Mr. Dicker in the cover-up process; since that's his canon job, it's reasonable to think he would go along with the neuralyzation process to a certain extent. One more major scene that I feel did warrant inclusion here would have been the healed Violet being reunited with the rest of the Parrs. Actually, bringing up Violet reminds me: I don't understand why she had a missing leg in the first place. If there was a source for that occurring in the badfic, you should include it, because otherwise, it feels rather random, and an out-of-place thing to happen to an Incredibles canon. (Unless I'm just forgetting something that happened in the first half of the mission?)

The way you imitate the original fic's script format is especially creative. Each time you had Falchion get stuck in it, it made sense, whether separated from Rashida and the RA, or when Rashida was knocked out. I did find it rather obnoxious to read, since the way I read is to read every word on the page. However, in this case, that annoyance is actually a plus, as it better showed me Falchion's own feelings when having to deal with it.

I see now that I was too hasty in one comment I made last time. I made the assumption that Rashida, as the more experienced agent, was correct in her mockery of Falchion, but I see now that you were setting her up to overreact in Medical, and then get her comeuppance. I like this; it's a nice change from the cliché of the veteran agent always being the more level-headed and wise one. So sorry for jumping the gun last time.

As I see it, this mission does suffer one major flaw. In your ending author note, you mention that the final chapters were basically a violent gore-fest, and that that's one of the major issues you wanted to address. Unfortunately, your way of addressing it was to show some of the worst such scenes (but I'm primarily talking about replacement!Ludlow's death here) in blocks of full quotes from the fic. At the simplest level, this does show the reader how bad the gore was, but personally, I feel that it also aggrandizes that gore, and puts it on display. I think it would have been far more effective to give just one or two lines, something like, "Another display of gore showered the ground. In the end, the mostly still-recognizable head of not!Ludlow slid down a nearby wall." I somewhat understand why you wanted to show that whole display, since it leads to Rashida's break. However, a short description like the lines above still get across how unrealistic and over-the-top the violence was without making the reader have to read it directly. And quite frankly, I don't feel that I needed to read that, either from a narrative perspective, or from matters of simple taste and comfort. This is especially true of replacement!Ludlow, who was already established as a character replacement, and was pretty much acting like a bad, generic villain; his death simply didn't deserve that level of detail and drama within the mission, because he was ultimately such a non-factor. To further fall from the point you wanted to make about the awfulness of the violence, you wind up partaking in some more all on your own, without the badfic helping at all. I'm talking about UltraViolet's assassination scene. We hardly needed to read about a Tyrannosaurus rex's worth of innards hitting the ground. Certainly describe the explosion being cross-shaped, since that was a clever little brick joke from the earliest portion of the fic. But the reader didn't need to "see" that body. A simple, "and then it blew up," would have sufficed; we're all familiar with explosions. (Well, through media, anyway.) But giving UltraViolet an eerily similar death scene to replacement!Ludlow's only reinforces and vindicates the unnecessary violence from the badfic. (Also, I think it would have made the T. rex head popping out of the bag of holding later a heck of a lot more surprising and funny/less morbid.) The one benefit you did derive from displaying all that gore was that it made the scene in the epilogue, when the Galeforce family had their little reunion, all the more sweet. It gave me the sense that The Incredibles canon had been returned to its family and Disney-oriented roots. It was so sappy, that it felt right at home there. Nonetheless, I still think the mission would be better with less gore, both quoted from the badfic and as part of the mission's actual narration.

wonderful! I have just one complaint... aren't C-CADs able to enforce consistent third person in a narrative?

I'll let you know what I think as soon as I land! *throws cakefetti*

Whew! I don't think that I have ever seen such a long entry as a PPCer's first mission. However, I must admit that you've done a good job. Though it was long, it was not rambly; a laudable achievement.

Two things, however.

First, there are a few SPaG errors:
• “Oh. Ohhhhh. It was a dream sequence. Of course it was.” She made sure to note an extra charge for confusing the Duat out of them as well.: That "she" should be “Rashida”; the previous paragraph of narrative was from Falchion's POV, and except for the reference to Duat, there is nothing in-paragraph to note that the speaker was Rashida.

• appeared out of no where: “nowhere” should be one word here, not two.

• The teens and the PPC agents rushed back to the cloning room we’d just visited: Don’t you mean “they’d just visited”?

• and the ensuing narrative everyone, including t rex, into silence: It looks like you're missing a word there. Perhaps the missing verb is “stunned everyone … into silence”?

• Its robotic legs clung to it as though it about to pry it free. As is, the second-to-last “it” is out of place. too many. Consider deleting that "it" or adding a verb:

Its robotic legs clung to it as though about to pry it free.
OR
Its robotic legs clung to it as though it was about to pry it free.

Of course, with all those "it"s, you might want to add a different noun, replacing one of the "it"s with "the scarab" or "the finger," as appropriate.

Second, regarding the badfic itself, I did not think that the format was that bad at all. IIRC, the premise is that the fic is actually a recording. That said, the first-person/scriptfic format is actually appropriate, as it accurately conveys the sense of people adding their two cents to the story as appropriate. Too bad that the story itself was horribly written, but IMO, the format was not one of the weaknesses.

Either way, good work, and congratulations on besting one of your old shames.

I'm glad to have been one of your beta readers! Reading the finished work is quite satisfying for me, and Falchion's story arc could end up inspiring some plot points for Chris and/or Ami; those are my agents-pending-Permission who both have...patchy backstories, let's say.

Anyway, have some celebratory cookies, and I look forward to reading/betaing more of your works!