My favorite part...

Subject: My favorite part...
Author: hermione of vulcan
Posted on: 2013-01-16 21:02:00 UTC

Is the casting. Picard as Gandalf, Riker as Aragorn, Wesley as Frodo, and sort of Troi as Legolas I can see, but... Data and Geordi as Pippin and Merry? Dr. Crusher as Sam? Sue as Boromir? And, the worst: Q as Celeborn. I mean really, Q would settle for nothing less than Eru.
What worries me, though, is that the Sue is taking it seriously. Generally, the Sue is right within her own fic, so...this means that Q has brought her and the Star Trek characters to the "real" Middle-Earth, shoving the ENTIRE Fellowship and Celeborn and Galadriel into a plothole. BIG problem.
Of course, the canons, once rescued from plotholes, could be quite helpful in disposing of Sue. There are so many ways to kill her, though. I like the idea of doing something with Boromir.
But I'm getting way ahead of myself. *runs off to write OFAS*

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Permission Request by hermione of vulcan on 2013-01-13 04:15:00 UTC Reply

I have read the Permission page on the wiki several times. So here goes:

Agent Profiles (Tanya is my self-insert and Joani is Apricot's, but I'm the main writer)

Name: Tanya Verde
Age: Older than Joani
Species: Human
Home Continuum: Real World
Department: DMS
Division: Star Trek (yes, it exists)
RC: 1966
Partner: Joani Verde
Fandom(s): Star Trek, TNG preferred (and many more fandoms, not really relevant)
Lust Objects: Spock, Data, Harry Kim, Vorik,
Favorites: The lust objects, also Q, Deanna Troi, Picard, Seven of Nine, Geordi LaForge, Janeway, Chekov
Weapon(s): She prefers to use poetic justice, but she carries a phaser rifle just in case. Though sometimes she forgets that it's a ranged weapon and clubs the Sue over the head with it. Oops.
Appearance: On the shortish side (5'4") and curvy. Brown eyes and brown hair would make her look generic, but her hair is shoulder length and wildly curly. Not particularly fit or coordinated, the only way she can use a phaser rifle is with 24th century aiming technology. She is absolutely useless with any other weapon (think Bilbo Baggins in the Hobbit movie "If I scream and wave my sword around maybe the goblins won't come near me!") She tends to wear the standard PPC black because it's easy, but she likes jewelry and steals it off Sues when she gets a chance. Also, her signature fluffy purple hat.
Personality: Simple physics: a Tanya at rest will stay at rest until a force acts upon her. She is quiet and introverted, but if she perceives that something is wrong with the world she will start to protest. Loudly, with some but not complete situational awareness. This passion comes from Star Trek ideals of justice, and Sues who go against any of Star Trek's messages is one of her biggest “Berserk Buttons”. She does care about people in general, but actually dealing with them, especially in big groups, makes her uncomfortable. She has one or more Lust Objects for each fandom she's into, and will be incredibly angry if a Sue messes with them. Messing with multiple lust objects or favorites makes her homicidal. Luckily, most of her favorite characters are logical, so telling her that she's being unreasonable or illogical has a surprisingly quick effect, as will saying "if you jump out there and kill the Sue you'll look like a homicidal crazy in front of [insert name of lust object/favorite]". Also, her last mission taught her a bit about looking before you leap. She likes routine in her life, and the PPC doesn't really provide that, and neither does her sister.
Pre-PPC: Average human geek on Earth, mother, father, sister (who becomes her partner). She fell through a plothole to HQ, and when her sister tried to investigate where she went she fell into the same plothole. She applied to the Star Trek division, and got it. This turned out not to be the stroke of good luck she thought it was.
PPC history: At the time of writing, she has been on her first mission, killing this Sue (links are to the author's profiles, read at your own risk) with a not-so-reformed Sue agent. The experience necessitated a visit to FicPsych and regular consumption of bleepolate, and instilled in her a hatred for Uncanonical Species!Sues and squick. Her partner went crazy.

Name: Joani Verde
Age: Younger than Tanya
Species: Human
Home Continuum: Real World
Department: DMS
Division: Star Trek
RC: 1966
Partner: Tanya Verde
Fandom(s): Star Trek, Voyager preferred (and many more fandoms, not really relevant)
Lust Objects: Vorik, Taurik, and any other cute random ensigns.
Favorites: The lust objects, also Q, Picard, Seven of Nine, Janeway, Data, Spock
Weapon(s): She likes the feeling of empowerment she gets when using a phaser rifle.
Appearance: Joani is two inches taller than Tanya and proud of it. She is skinny with long arms and legs. She has medium length brown hair (usually tied in a ponytail) and brown eyes. She has a scar above her left eye from a close encounter with the Borg in her last mission.
Personality: Joani is stubborn and opinionated. She complains about small discomfort, especially if it’s cold. She has a phobia of PPC technology after almost getting assimilated by the Borg, and she blames Makes-Things for occasionally hearing the voice of the Collective in her head. This results in banging-her-head-against-the-wall routines. However, when not dealing with the Borg or PPC technology, she is quite pleasant to people and is more sociable than her sister. She is easily distracted by small cute things, like small children or kittens. She tends not to react violently in badfic, rather, she becomes overly dramatic (much to Tanya’s annoyance, as she only reacts when there is a reason).
Pre-PPC: She went looking for her sister and fell into the same plothole leading to HQ.
PPC History: She applied to the Star Trek division, but was assigned to Despatch because a badfic involving a Sue transdimensionally snatching the Borg and the Enterprise-D had just been found, and they needed someone with Trek knowledge. She had to infiltrate a Borg cube, using a strategy from a Voyager episode where the characters allowed themselves to get assimilated but used some sort of mental blocker to stop it from taking over their minds. However, her CAD exploded, which indicated to the Borg that she and her partner weren't actually drones. They barely escaped, and the disguise proved tricky to remove, so she still has a scar and occasionally picks up Borg transmissions when in close proximity. She blames Makes-Things because he’d repaired the CAD just before it exploded.

Information

Their RC: The Star Trek division is the oldest division in the PPC, because Star Trek was where modern fandom and fanfiction started. Therefore, their RC is decked out in Star Trek style--sliding doors, console, replicator, arsenal of Star Trek weapons and gadgets, and every episode and movie ever made in a computer database (courtesy of the first agents in the RC, which programmed it to update itself when a new episode was produced. Star Trek: TOS was still running at the time, hence RC#1966). The RC might be a Trekkie's dream, but it's dusty from disuse, and some of the tech doesn't quite work (the door sticks, and the replicator sometime makes you a puddle of tea rather than a cup). Another thing the first agents did was program the console to go "WHEE-OO!" like the communications system on TOS. This annoys Tanya and Joani no end, as their favorite series are, respectively, TNG and Voyager. Not to mention that it is just as obnoxiously loud as “BEEP!”, and has the same sense of timing.
Interactions as Partners: Tanya and Joani are only paired together as siblings because of the lack of Star Trek agents and the Flowers wanted to see what would happen. Of course, this means that they don’t quite get along well. In many ways, they are complete opposites—Tanya likes routine, Joani is more flexible, Tanya is subdued and calm unless provoked, Joani is consistently lively and tends to overdramatize things, Tanya is a hardcore luster, Joani has few Lust Objects, Tanya is philosophical, Joani is bored by that sort of thing, Tanya is not very sociable, Joani enjoys social interaction, etc. And being siblings, they like to use their differences against each other, such as Joani interfering in Tanya’s routine or Tanya ignoring Joani when she’s being chatty. However, they do have each other’s backs, and they are agreed on important things like “Sues need to die” and “Star Trek is awesome”.

Permission Piece

OFAS (if a Permission Giver has read OFAS before, there's a new chapter)

Badfic to spork (by Sue/Stu's name)

Syan
Shaundrah
Jack Russel

Yay~ by KittyNoodles on 2013-01-14 22:14:00 UTC Reply

Congratulations, hermione! May your sporkings be many and awesome! :D
Conga rats! by Lily Winterwood on 2013-01-14 22:07:00 UTC Reply

I look forward to seeing missions from you two!

You know... by Apricot on 2013-01-15 03:27:00 UTC Reply

I once read a book with magic mice in it, and there was one point where they were in a conga line. So, I guess they'd be "conga mice"!

Yes, but... by hermione of vulcan on 2013-01-15 22:15:00 UTC Reply

"Conga mice" is not nearly as clever as "conga rats".

Congratulations! by DawnFire on 2013-01-14 12:57:00 UTC Reply

Congrats, Hermione! :) And good luck to Tanya and Joani!

~DF
Congrats - yay, Star Trek! by Fish Custard on 2013-01-14 11:20:00 UTC Reply

More Star Trek missions to look forward to? I like where this is going! ^__^
Congratulations! by Cyba Zero on 2013-01-14 10:23:00 UTC Reply

In celebration of your successful permission request, my main agents would like to provide your agents with a few items to help them on their missions (or around HQ, or wherever).

Eagrus sends Tanya and Joani a necklace each, with a 25% resist fire enchantment to reduce damage from exploding PPC tech, (also good against flamethrower-wielding agents, mad fire-mages, common species of dragon, mini-Balrogs etc.).

Cyba sends a pair of targeting glasses each, which also double as neuralyser protection and generally look cool.

Phi offers her assistance if required, and Sigma adds that you can borrow her ship, The Silver Hound, on the condition of her piloting (you think you also catch something about avoiding scratching of paintwork).

I look forward to your missions!

Belated thanks! by hermione of vulcan on 2013-01-17 22:49:00 UTC Reply

Tanya says thanks for the necklace. It looks shiny. She likes shinies. Also, fireproof will definitely come in handy at some point.
She also thinks the shades make her look mysterious, but the effect is somewhat ruined, since she's wearing them with her purple hat.
She thanks Phi for offering to help, and says that she would be perfectly happy to have Sigma pilot if the occasion rises, since she can't tell left from right and would make a horrible starship pilot.
(And Tanya's writer would like to thank Boarder!Cyba for being so supportive of OFAS and for urging her to get Permission.)

Grats, hermione! by SpecstacularSC on 2013-01-14 03:47:00 UTC Reply

Have a celebratory neck-nerve-pinch to-

Oh, crap, she's not moving.

Uh, I'll... I'll just leave the cake on the table and call medical, then...

*wakes up, stretches neck* by hermione of vulcan on 2013-01-15 22:13:00 UTC Reply

Thanks for the cake! Is it chocolate?

Permission granted! by Neshomeh on 2013-01-14 03:31:00 UTC Reply

I wondered when you were going to ask. {= )

My only concern about the agents is that I'm not sure why Joani had to let herself get partially assimilated to infiltrate a Borg cube when the usual canon-cloaking-and-SEP-field effect ought to work just as well on Borg as on any other canons. Plus, it seems to me that "oh noes, we're Borg now!" is getting a bit tired, between Tawaki's Assimilation Crisis, Cyba's disguise generator mishap (and subsequent duplication), and now this. I don't want to deny you permission just on that basis—just because it's been done before doesn't mean it's bad or wrong—but I would encourage you and Apricot to reconsider Joani's backstory before you actually start writing. As huge as the Star Trek universe is, there has to be something besides Borg to give a character a scar and hangups about technology.

Everything else looks fine, and I love that their response center has its own backstory. I wonder if the previous occupants of RC #1966 and RC #999 ever hung out back in the day. The current occupants should absolutely meet up sometime. If you ever want to co-write a crossover mission, let me know. *g*

~Neshomeh

You make a good point by Apricot on 2013-01-15 03:21:00 UTC Reply

I'll think about Joani's backstory. I'll go see if I can find any badfic that could have been her last mission. The original fic was something I actually wrote many years ago involving the Borg invading my school. It was awful.

Okie-dokie. by Neshomeh on 2013-01-16 05:51:00 UTC Reply

PPC-wise, the bit of most concern is really the logic behind Joani letting herself get partly assimilated in the first place, especially considering the risk to the multiverse if the mental blocker fails and the Borg get portal tech. It's just my personal opinion that HQ doesn't really need more Borgified agents, so you can take or leave that. {= )

~Neshomeh

All right then! by hermione of vulcan on 2013-01-14 18:10:00 UTC Reply

*does happy dance at Permission* Thank you so much!
Joani's backstory--Well, Apricot and I first came up with these agents way back, before I even made my first post on the Board. So this was before Cyba's disguise generator accident and before we read the Assimilation Crisis. And the partially assimilated thing was used in the Voyager episode "Unimatrix Zero" which was a pretty awesome episode, so Pepper-Jack Cheese logic happened. At least, that's my side of it. I don't speak for my sister. She came up with her agent's backstory, so she'll have to figure it out.
The response center--I was expanding off the wiki saying that the Star Trek division was likely the first division. In fact, I decided to write PPC missions because I love missions and realized there weren't that many Star Trek ones. Write what you want to read, you know?
Co-write--I would love to! In fact, I already have a fic. It is a LOTR/Star Trek: TNG crossover with a Sue that I found a while ago, and when I went back looking for it I realized it would be perfect for a co-write with the DIC. But I feel like I want to get ahead on OFAS and write these first three missions before I do a co-write. And I also might want to do an interlude/mission dealing with Tanya's backstory. I say "interlude/mission" because I'll show it as a flashback. Maybe she'll be telling the story to Joani. Can I add that series of fics to the Bleepfic page? It seems bad enough to me, but then again I might just be sensitive to it. Anyway, enough rambling. I look forward to it!

Cool! by Neshomeh on 2013-01-16 05:42:00 UTC Reply

I'm not up for co-writing instantly, either, so that works out. I do have a good intro to a Trek mission already written for my agents, though. I'll save it. ^_^ Could I get a link to that fic in the meantime? And, is there any particular distance I ought to be in TNG for it? Don't want to let my agents down by not being up on the canon myself. {= )

~Neshomeh

Here's the link. by hermione of vulcan on 2013-01-16 13:45:00 UTC Reply

I already added it to the Claimed Badfic list. I hope I'm not jumping the gun or anything. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7571905/1/ThanQ
And here's why it's sporkable: Sue helps Q in the episode where he loses his powers, upstaging Data in the process. His favor is to send Sue and the Star Trek characters to Middle-Earth as the Fellowship. There is no catch, they just have to follow the plot of Lord of the Rings, and as Sue is a fan (and, conveniently, the only one who knows the canon) she's dragging them around. Decent writing, but plotholes a mile wide and rampant OOC on the parts of Picard, Guinan, and Q.
I think seeing the episode "Deja Q" and having a general idea of what is in/out of character is all that's needed, and in rereading Ilraen's Journal, I see that he is qualified. Watching "Deja Q" will give you information on these characters and how they interact. Besides, it's a good episode and one of my personal favorites.

Ah, I've actually seen that one. by Neshomeh on 2013-01-16 19:23:00 UTC Reply

I'll probably watch it again before we start, but still.

I've read up to chapter eight now, and though I wasn't sure at first how mission-worthy it is, Brooke just gets more and more annoyingly illogical as it goes on. I love how she has the nerve to call Picard insane when he finally puts his foot down and refuses to play anymore. You know, like he does in canon. And I don't blame him for thinking she's a little off her rocker. She really takes the whole thing far too seriously in all the wrong ways. This is just a game Q is playing with them; it's not really Middle-earth. Sheesh. O.o

I especially want to charge her for having a compound fracture with multiple bone fragments piercing the skin, and yet being able to walk on it the next day thanks to Elvish "healing magic." Sorry, but even the Elves aren't that good. That leg would never be the same again without literal divine intervention.

Also, she displays a woeful lack of basic survival skills on the mountain. I just didn't realize the entire senior staff (and Wesley) shared that deficiency. {= P

... So yeah, I'm in. ^_^; Let me know when you want to start!

~Neshomeh

My favorite part... by hermione of vulcan on 2013-01-16 21:02:00 UTC Reply

Is the casting. Picard as Gandalf, Riker as Aragorn, Wesley as Frodo, and sort of Troi as Legolas I can see, but... Data and Geordi as Pippin and Merry? Dr. Crusher as Sam? Sue as Boromir? And, the worst: Q as Celeborn. I mean really, Q would settle for nothing less than Eru.
What worries me, though, is that the Sue is taking it seriously. Generally, the Sue is right within her own fic, so...this means that Q has brought her and the Star Trek characters to the "real" Middle-Earth, shoving the ENTIRE Fellowship and Celeborn and Galadriel into a plothole. BIG problem.
Of course, the canons, once rescued from plotholes, could be quite helpful in disposing of Sue. There are so many ways to kill her, though. I like the idea of doing something with Boromir.
But I'm getting way ahead of myself. *runs off to write OFAS*

Looks good to me! by firemagic on 2013-01-13 16:31:00 UTC Reply

Though I am not a PG. But your characters look fun
Looks good to me, though I'm no PG. by Cyba Zero on 2013-01-13 12:22:00 UTC Reply

These seem alright to me. Of course, I'm not a PG, but your agents don't look overpowered and the DMS Star Trek division could really use some missions, so I'd rate your chances of success being fairly high.

Yay! A new OFAS chapter! You know, I really feel sorry for Data when he gets around to teaching. I also think teaching in a holodeck is a sensible idea - I don't think the students could be trusted near a proper warp core yet. The fan of crossovers (Ajax) is going to stir things up a bit, I suspect, too.

I'm still happy to do that OFAS co-write, when everything gets that far. An agent meeting would be amusing, too, actually - poor Joani might have a fit meeting any of my agents but Eagrus, though.

Anyway, good luck on your permission request, and I look forward to more OFAS!