Subject: Well, I've tweaked it.
Author:
Posted on: 2014-09-12 13:08:00 UTC

The idea I'm trying for is spell > streak/beam of light shoots out and hits the ground > light resolves into silver squirrel Patronus. It was badly phrased, but the light was never supposed to persist after hitting the ground. The light is the Patronus - just either not yet resolved into its true shape, or simply moving too fast to make out. I've tweaked it again; it now reads like this:

A burning silver streak of light burst from her wand, lancing past Freckles and striking the ground in front of Psycho!Frodo. The blazing form of Sandra’s Patronus crouched for an instant, then leapt in a burst of electric fire. Frodo had no time to run.

hS

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