Welcome to the PPC!

Have 2 bottles of bleeprin and a club to keep Drake away.

So you'll always look cool without trying!

This shovel digs up—

*is blasted into the air*

*lands in a heap*

...ow... geysers, apparently...

And hey, a fellow Abhorsen fan! By the way, what agent teams do you follow?

Well, I suppose I'm not much of a lurker anymore, but the point stands.

For your newbie gift, take this Replica Holocron, as well as a hobbit baked pie as an apology for my lateness.

As your newbie gift, have this replica of the One Ring, that turns you into a kobold while you use it!

look what we have here, boys. A newbie.
I'll just get my lead pipe and...

Hey! Hi! Hello!
Welcome!
Here, have this lead pipe, my friend. It's vintage and all polished. Never been used, you know. Diplomacy is the greatest weapon, the way I see it.

Fond of succession games, eh?
I've only really read Boatmurdered, which is bloody Shakespearean. Got any recommendations?

Welcome!

Have one of my own shed feathers and a complimentary kit of Spikes!

Since I was beaten to asking the ever-important questions, I'll just hand you this Royal Ice Cream Container. It's basically Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, except you choose the flavor. Close the lid, say any flavor, open lid, consume miraculously appearing ice cream.

Your fault Ix, you forgot the first part. ;)

Anyways, take this pot of black-hole coffee. Hope you'll enjoy the madhouse for a long time.

:P

Hello, and welcome aBoard! For your newbie gift, take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti!

Since I'm assuming you've already read the Original Series and the Constitution, mind if I ask what your fandoms are and which agents you've read?

Hope you like it here!

Hello, hello! Before Iximaz sees what I've done, here's some Everlasting Hiccup Tablets. Now, I need to run, tally-ho!

P.S. Please don't hurt me.

Have a purple glitter pen. Your agents cannot use it to write mission reports.

Glad to hear you're a voracious reader. Which agents are your favorites so far? Mine are the Aviator (including her past life) and Zeb.

Have some erasable colored pencils! :)