Greetings fellow troper, may I ask what your fandoms are? That way I might give you an appropriate gift. Failing that, jelly-baby?

Welcome a-Board newbie! This is probably a belated welcome by the time I'm posting this, but time is just an invention of humans to make us freak out about deadlines. This is also the reason I'm putting off my history homework to say hi to you. So hi! Have a cupcake!

Hellooooo ickle newbie! Have some lemming repellent!

Welcome to the PPC! I hope you have fun. I'm sure you will, actually, because you thought we were funny. Since you appreciate our sense of humor, your newbie gift is some more recommended reading: the Official Fanfiction Universities. They are affiliated with the PPC and have a similar style and craziness level. The idea is exactly what it sounds like--a school for fanfiction writers, where they learn to write good fanfiction from their favorite canon characters.
The Lord of the Rings one is here and the Sherlock one is here.
Enjoy!

Welcome to the craziness of the board!
Throw your sanity through the window!
PARTY TIME.

Lol, anyways, your gift is a lightsaver; may you kill many Sues with it :D

Welcome to the PPC fellow SuperWhoAvengersRingLockian! That may not be an actual word, but if it isn't I have just made it one. Since you came from the direction of TV Tropes, I shall gift to you a Nice Hat! It's default shape is a fedora, but it will change shape and color depending on your preferences. Hope you enjoy your stay!

Good to see you here! TV Tropes is certainly awesome... and addicting. :)

Here, have a bag of muffins. Be careful when eating them, though, they probably try to eat you as well. Just some experimental stuff, but tastes excellent nonetheless.

Have some lembas. Perfect for those days when the Sue can fly and you're left staring into the mines of Moria as the Fellowship flap their way to Mordor.

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my world-famous hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. Now 13% less flammable!

I'm relatively new, but I'm going to welcome you to the party anyway.

Here's... Wait...

...

...

...

Here, have a sandwitch. It's a witch. Made of sand. And it's edible. Probably. I didn't check.

Welcome to the Board! Have some chocolate, won't you?

Another Troper :) . Hi, have some fudge!

I came here through TVTropes, too.

Have a plushie colonist/locust/earth spirit from Drowtales!

You like laughing? Have you read some missions (mostly TOS)? If not, go and do that, and have some awesome-laced cookies for the way.

Welcome to the Board, Ostlusha (er... Shailey might be easier for me to remember how to spell. You don't mind if I call you that instead, do you?)

Anyway, welcome! Here, have some Bleepnerds and bleepolate! ...Trust me, you'll need them.

What fandoms are you into, if I might ask?

Don't wory, we won't make you walk the plank.
(…what does that have to do with anything?)
You know, board, plank. It's a pun!
(…If I were not concerned that killing you would subsequently kill me, you would be so dead. Oh, hi, my name is Jumper, I'm this bloke's OC. Here, while I try to find Rat from Pearls Before Swine, why don't you tell me your fandoms/works you are fond of. Since I am a multiverse traveler, I like to give fandom related gifts. So, tell us what you like, and I'll see what I can whip up.)

On a side note, how did you find the ppc on TV Tropes? I found it on Protecters of the Multiverse, so I like to see what wiki-walk lead others to this pit of insanity. Wait, did he say pearls before... Gotta go!

Greetings new friend! Have a Soundtrack of Life! While it plays, it provides appropriate background music for whatever you happen to be doing.

Goodness, you laughed that hard merely at the wiki? Wait until you read the actual stories! :D

Hello and welcome to the Protectors of the Plot Continuum board. Hope you enjoy your stay!

Have a crate of Bleepka! Please leave your sanity at the door.

I see you've done a lot of the introductory reading, and someone else will probably bother you about TOS, so welcome to the PPC, new friend!