Looks like the cane was about him, then, not the kingdom.

Subject: Looks like the cane was about him, then, not the kingdom.
Author: Granz the Ice Cream Monarch
Posted on: 2016-06-05 05:07:00 UTC

Yup! I've only read a couple of his books, but the Alcatraz ones are just hilarious! It's virtually impossible to stay depressed while reading them, because even if there's a kinda sad part, Mood Whiplash strikes, and is occasionally accompanied by dinosaurs.

What's wrong with claymation? And please tell me there were lasers. You know, the lasers that probably aren't going to get fired and certainly won't do anything relevant to the plot.

Wait, doesn't he throw things at you, or at least insult you, if you don't read the books in order? Even if it's ridiculously hard to determine what the order is supposed to be, considering who runs our schools.

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Hey there! by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-02 23:08:00 UTC Reply

Hey everyone! I've been stalking around here for a while, and I figured it's time I introduced myself. Where to start... How about backstory?

I was popping through TV tropes, trying to avoid a crashing my computer by opening a hundred tabs at once, and I randomly found myself on this place's page. I figured it looked pretty interesting, so I decided to check it out. I read the Original Series, and found it rather cool, so I read the Constitution, then started looking for interesting agents. I don't think I've run out yet. I checked to see if this place was active, and happily, it is. This potentially insane organization also seems to be a pretty awesome place, so I decided to hop in. That's about it, really, so I'll just stop here and eagerly await what happens next!

Well hullo. (nm) by Irrelevant on 2016-06-11 08:32:00 UTC Reply
Welcome aBoard! by Cat-on-the-Keyboard on 2016-06-06 05:35:00 UTC Reply

I have no gift, for I am terrible at gift-giving. I'm actually not allowed to give gifts to my family anymore, after the incident with the hammock. But I can ask you questions! How do you feel about nicknames? I predict that the Board is likely to shorten your name to Granz -- did you anticipate that? What pronouns should we use to refer to you in the third person, should such a thing become necessary?

--Key, or Cat, she/her/hers

Is the hammock incident a noodle incident? by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-06 06:48:00 UTC Reply

Nicknames are useful when, like myself, you have a long name or pseudonym. They'll probably shorten it to Granz, but other things are possible. I just hope that they don't call me Ice King, because then I'll be stealing it from Weiss. (Hey!) Moderately overused jokes aside, yeah, Granz is the most likely option, especially since I don't even bother to write the whole thing out, I just type in G and let the computer fill in the rest for me. If you feel like referring to me in the third person, please use masculine pronouns.

Hello and welcome to Atop-- Wait.... by Edhelistar on 2016-06-05 15:44:00 UTC Reply

Wrong greeting... Anyway, welcome to the PPC! Here as your newbie gift, you can have this Replica of the One Ring, that becomes a copy of the Ember Celica when you require it! Also you can have this Gen-3 TM, TM-13 Ice Beam, for your Swinub!

I'd say I Burn, but then I'd melt. by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-05 21:12:00 UTC Reply

Yes! A replica Ember Celica! Woohoo! And a Ice Beam TM? That should prove useful, depending on Trick's Special Attack stat. Thank you!

Hi there! Have a Black Cloak of Swirly Awesomeness! by Silenthunder on 2016-06-05 00:28:00 UTC Reply

And tell us your fandoms, please. We hope you have fun here.

Does it move on its own? by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-05 01:48:00 UTC Reply

Because, there's this thing about cloaks that move on their own... they're usually bad news, especially in Harry Potter and, I believe, in D&D if your party is low-level.

And for fandoms, I've got a list way below of my Top Ten. That is by no means the complete list, but a complete list would take forever to compile. I'd imagine it's like that for everyone here.

Welcome, welcome! by Badger421 on 2016-06-04 00:56:00 UTC Reply

I'd make my customary offer of a seat by the fireplace, but I suppose the whole Ice Cream Monarch thing means you probably don't like heat. No matter, I can still stick to my normal gift of a Replica Holocron. I'm sure monarchs have lots of royal secrets to record, so it should come in handy.

Since I see you listed Harry Potter as a fandom, might I ask which House you're in?

I'll have to run a diagnostic for spyware on it, first. by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-04 05:58:00 UTC Reply

But if it checks out... I deny having any secrets that the public should know about, except for secret methods for winning at card games. However, I'll take it to record concerts, and that is most certainly the only use that it will see. Totally.

I'd probably say that I'm a Ravenclaw. Bravery is certainly useful, but it borders too close to fearlessness for me to feel comfortable being defined by it. Hufflepuffs are hardworking, and I... am not. I found this place basically because I was procrastinating. Slytherin sometimes pops up in my actions, but being so devoted to getting something that, even when Slytherin is in proper, the methods used are questionable hovers too close to the Dark Side for my tastes. Ravenclaw's the place for me, because I am pretty adept in academic fields, and I think that knowledge is power. I'd think it even more if I were actually in Harry Potter, especially since knowledge can literally give you more physical power, if I am correct in my theories.

Don't worry, you won't find any spyware on on it. by Badger421 on 2016-06-06 20:12:00 UTC Reply

I couldn't modify the Holocron even if I wanted to. Bloody gatekeeper would nag me for weeks if I tried tampering with it.
Not that I would know that from personal experience, of course.

Ravenclaw, hmm? Very nice. I'm a Hufflepuff myself, but I can certainly see myself enjoying being in Ravenclaw immensely.
Nah, bravery isn't about being fearless. by Iximaz on 2016-06-04 14:53:00 UTC Reply

Bravery is about being terrified, but doing the right thing anyway. After all, if you're not afraid, what's there to be brave about?

-Iximaz, who is a Gryffindor at heart and also a terrible fit for the other Houses

Mentally, I know that... by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-04 21:35:00 UTC Reply

However, it... okay, all the houses can get a little too close to their negative positions even without death and destruction surrounding the school. I guess it really all does come down to personality.

On a completely random subject, I believe you've done a few Nuzlockes before. Any advice to someone about to embark upon such a journey?

Grind. Grind, grind, grind. by Iximaz on 2016-06-04 22:10:00 UTC Reply

Grind levels like never before. If you think you're ready to face a Gym but you have a little voice telling you that maybe you need one more level, make it two. And then grind it out.

If you're not doing a blind run, then look up your Gym Leaders and make sure you know what to expect. Don't go in to fight them depending solely on one 'mon, because if you have no backup, your Plan A WILL get destroyed.

Learn from your mistakes and remember what 'mons have what moves. After learning Koffing could know Selfdestruct, suddenly I was able to prepare for the worst and save my team.

And, of course, if you look at your Pokémon's health and go "I can survive this as long as the other guy doesn't crit", then they WILL crit. No exceptions. I have lost too many Pokémon to this.

Don't forget that as long as you're well-prepared and highly-leveled you can pull off amazing stunts. My best victory was when, while playing Platinum, I went in to fight the Elite Four with only three Pokémon. I made it out with two.

Never give up. Never forget. Grind like hell.

If only I could pay someone to grind... by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-04 22:21:00 UTC Reply

Thanks for the advice! I admit, I have gotten to the point where I was about ready to face Lenora twice. Then somebody dies and I rage quit, so I have to start over. Thanks, Fire Emblem.

But, really, thanks! This should help, so I don't lose half the party before the second gym a third time in a row.

And three Pokémon? I am in awe. Which ones were they, and what were their levels?

True Fire Emblem spirit. by Hardric on 2016-06-05 05:22:00 UTC Reply

Never accepting the lose of anyone. If you're letting someone behind, you're doing it wrong.

As for Nuzlockes, true experts can shoot this down, but I included a Ghost mon for my Diamond run. Both because I like this type, as you can see in our tournament, and because a ghost type can suck up a Selfdestruct/Explosion attack with no damage. And all Nuzlockers hate these attacks, you can believe me.

It does lead to lots of rage quits, though. by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-05 06:48:00 UTC Reply

Seriously, Fire Emblem is maddening. I got my first and only Fire Emblem game, Shadow Dragon, when I was pretty young. I got so upset when someone died, but then, somehow, I got it into my head that something special happens at Level 4. While something does happen there, it's no what I thought, for I figured that something special meant that all my troops came back. I'm pretty sure that I actually cried when I figured out that my troops stayed dead. I then restarted the game. Every time I have tried to finish it since... I fail, because it takes forever to get through one level. Possibly hours, even with the save points.

Ghost might do really well this time, considering the typing of the E4 in Unova. I'll see who ends up on my party. Hoping that the Dreamyard catch isn't a Patrat. They're very lovely, yes. I don't need three. I've already missed my chance to get a Lillipup for a while, and if I don't get a Munna (preferably) or a Purrloin (less preferable than Munna, but still something different) I shall scream.

And I see you like Ghost. You didn't do too bad in the tournament. I bet everyone with a Fairy type was fervently thanking the creators of Pokemon when they went up against your Mega Sableye. I'd check myself, but my computer hates me right now.

As for that last part, while I haven't personally experienced it, I've read enough about terrorist Gravelers to believe that that is very true. Hopefully, I don't learn about it firsthand.

TL;DR: Very true, but also leads to insanity, Ghost is a maybe because I might end up challenging the E4 with a Patrat army, I see you like Ghosts, everyone else was probably glad Fairy was invented, and hopefully I don't learn firsthand about the second reason. *exhales*

Note to self: No text walls. They lead to excessively long summaries.

Euh... by Hardric on 2016-06-05 07:30:00 UTC Reply

Dark is the type with the most problems with Fairy type. I like other types too, like Psychic, or Dark, But they were already 'taken' when I created my team. Would like to try a Fairy mono too someday.

Yep, sacrificing someone during Shadow Dragon's prologue sucks. But there is always worst, like being unlucky in an arena while you were grinding your last perso on the map, or when you fail during one of the FE 4 chapters. (Thanks Naga for savestates.) Speaking of Fire Emblem, did you try any mod?

If I remember it right, there is a rule allowing you to ignore the first Pokemon you meet if you already own one of them. (Another incentive for grinding, so you have the elvoved versions of the frequent random critters.)

Don't worry, as far text walls go, this one is pretty tame.

I hate choosing. by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-05 08:15:00 UTC Reply

I read that Jagen's stats, if taken to level 20 and compared to a Cavalier turned Paladin, don't measure up, so he's recommended, but it still sucks.

Oh, the arenas. Fun fun. Grind to any level you want, but be careful, because at any second your unit can die, and you have to start all over again. I love the shops, I really do. They let me supply my ridiculously over-leveled Clerics and Priests with staves to heal my warriors after they get stabbed again, and again, and again.

Bleh. I haven't tried any mod, which is, in cheat games, something like infinite health, I believe, and I wouldn't know anything that wouldn't make the game too easy, or even how to get one. I seriously have not beaten Shadow Dragon, even though I get closer every time, because I give up because of so many restarts, and before I do any kind of mod or get another game, I'd like to at least beat the one I have.

I was more thinking about facing a Mega that has no vulnerabilities. Yeesh... That would not be fun. Typing isn't everything, but that doesn't mean it's not important.

The no repeat Pokemon one is actually a change that some people use, and others don't. I thought it would make it harder if didn't use that in exchange for being able to use healing items like potions and berries. Previously, I hadn't been using them.

Okay, good. I get a little long winded sometimes, at least in comparison to almost everyone I know, and that carries over to texts and posts. Sometimes, I think it gets worse because nobody can interrupt and state that it's been an hour, and they'd really like to eat instead of hearing about exactly what one would do to create a Philosopher's Stone in Harry Potter.

There is a reason he created an archetype. by Hardric on 2016-06-05 09:17:00 UTC Reply

The Jeigans, all prepromoted, almost all worthless. See the Oifeys for usable Jeigans.

Healing every scratch is all fair for leveling. But the mods I was talking about are created from roms of the gba games on emulator. For instance, Last Promise, created from Fire Emblem, is a complete and very fun play.

At the end of the day, you are the one who choses the rules you want to apply to your Nuzlocke. I know that the no healing items and getting repeats would make the gamee too hard for me.

P.S. Sorry for hte advertising, but did you try my spin-off? I'd like to have more opinions about it.

They made more units like that? by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-05 21:19:00 UTC Reply

Do the designers hate the players? And yeah... those growth rates... Well, at least now I know what growth rate is.

I wouldn't have a clue how to get one of those. The internet is a vast and mysterious place, and I have yet to master the powers of Google.

There's no shame in asking! I'd love to read it. What are your agents names?

Yep they did. by Hardric on 2016-06-05 22:22:00 UTC Reply

In fact, check the wiki of the series. You'll see several archetypes like this. For example, Camus started one for 'honorable enemy you have to kill. And you'll hate this'.

Now, that's pretty simple, and I'm far from being an expert. Go to Serenes Forest, Holy Land of FE players on the web, to find said mods. For the emulators, search for Visualboy Advance, then roms for the GBA Fire Emblem games. And you can even try Binding Blade, Serenes Forest also hosts a translation patch for it.

They are Richard Legard and Marina Nicodelli. Only three missions for now with another one in the making, but I hope one day I'll have as much missions wroten as Iximaz (Yeah, I can keep dreaming.)

It's decided. The developers hate the players. by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-06 00:22:00 UTC Reply

If/when I finally manage to get to that point in FE, I will hate it. I'll probably bang my head against the wall.

Thanks! Especially since I may or may not be desperately searching for all my DS/3DS games which are definitely around here somewhere because it's the last place I had them.

They look pretty interesting, and now I may have to read the Dresden books, simply because any canon where the protagonist rides a zombified T-rex has got to be worth reading. And do you actually speak French? I'd guess so, since Google Translates Foreign Language for the Sake of Coolness is a charge, I believe, since things usually get really messed up in the process.

efore trying Lunatic for the first time. by Hardric on 2016-06-06 06:01:00 UTC Reply

There you can say it. But don't do it if you're not a masochist. I'm not even sure they could like this too, to be honest.

Losing things. It's always a pain, and I know that first-hand. I didn't try it for the moment, but it seems to me that even these consoles have got emulator versions on the Web.

You could think the Dresden Files have got a little slow start (some people think so), but I tell you, read them all This s eries is genial. That, and anything Jim Butcher wrote for that matter.

Bien sur que je parle français, je suis un étudiant français après tout. (Cela explique aussi les erreurs de grammaire qui se glissent dans mes messages ici.)

What happened to the title? by Hardric on 2016-06-06 06:02:00 UTC Reply

I wrote 'You cannot say that before trying Lunatic for te first time'. Strange.

... What is Lunatic? by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-06 06:29:00 UTC Reply

Do I even want to know? Or will it make a Nuzlocke without the repeat and shiny Pokemon clauses and which forbids the player from using any healing items at all or any Pokemon Centers more than once look like a walk in a nice, sunny park?

I looked up the emulators. Apparently the ROMs are illegal. Dang...

I'll probably survive. If there's a zombie-riding fireball-throwing protagonist and evil Literal Genie Fae, or at least Literal Genie Fae with Blue and Orange Mentality, it's probably a very interesting read, and worth the wait.

I thought so! I mean, I thought you were a student who is from France, if I'm interpreting it correctly. Alas, I do not speak any languages other than English at the moment, so I am reduced to using Google Translate, knowing that it is, to put it lightly, imperfect. When I read Richard's bio, and then I read your stories, I figured that you had to at least speak French as a secondary language, if not as your primary language. I just wanted to ask, because to assume is to make a donkey out of you and me, and I like being bipedal and actually having arms, especially since this isn't MLP, and hooves are not nearly as good for manipulating objects as that show makes them look. And don't sweat the grammar errors. Apparently, the rules of the English Language are incredibly ridiculous and inconsistent compared to other languages. I'm just beginning the process of learning another language, and... Yeah, I really have no idea what the people who invented this language were thinking.

It was gremlins. Or maybe the inhabitants of Croak needed a "You cannot say that b" for some reason. They have stolen many, many socks from me. I think.

You're exagerating... by Hardric on 2016-06-06 07:01:00 UTC Reply

Lunatic is so much more horrible. Little optmist.

Technically, you could get ROMs for games you've already got, or games there is no chance you'll ever find legally, like FE4, or Madoka Portable, for instance. Last point, if you mod these ROMs, you wouldn't be playing with the original games, right? And, given the playthroughs I saw on the web, Illegal ROMs don't stop many people...

I hope you really like Faes because once you see one of them, they're here to stay. And even the pixies can be vicious.

You would be a MLP fan? Would you... advise it to someone else? (I ended up listening EG songs lately while I was searching for more music, and at the very least, I found them interesting.) Well at least English don't have any accents. As for the rest...

The gremlins, r Marina managing to hex this PC only by being here through images and an unfinished mission...

Exaggerating is one of my three specialties. by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-06 07:42:00 UTC Reply

Unlike Crasher Wake, however, my other two are actually quite wholesome. (And to anybody who gets the Nuzlocke I'm referencing, I truly am NOT trying to trivialize the other two that are mentioned there, but it's pretty hard to make it not come out like a joke, considering what I'm referencing.)

If it's that horrible, I'll just shove it in with every single horror game, movie, TV show, book, etc., and not get it.

Okay, if that's legal, then I'm good to go. I own Shadow Dragon, and I probably couldn't get some of the others if I sold an arm and a leg, and the consoles? Forget it. Of course, if the arm was the canonically removed appendage of a protagonist of certain series, then I might just need that and nothing else.

Well, I don't have a lot of experience with Literal Genies - blame the fact that I don't know anybody who plays D&D for that- but the ones I do know are either A) downright malicious, and purposely twist it in the worst possible way, or B) have no idea what they're doing, and are occasionally more dangerous because of it. And, if she could actually feel, I'm sure that the Blue Djinn of Babylon would be very, very sorry about that, skunk baby.

I am not familiar with MLP. I only know a little bit about it from a few CDs that I haven't watched since before I was in middle school. I might check out the newer series, and see what it's like, but I couldn't pass judgement on it as is. And, just because I figure I ought to be helpful, I believe the word you're looking for is suggest. It's almost, if not completely, a connotation versus denotation thing, and probably just as confusing as ser and estar, but to me, at least, advise has a more... formal connotation, whereas the casualness implied by your language would probably fit with suggest. Also, it's just this wacky thing we pull because English is evil, and in this case, it would probably be something like, "Would you advise that someone should watch it?" (I really am not trying to be rude here, I just want to be helpful. If it's offensive, tell me and I'll quit it.)

I don't know about the accents. At least I can actually understand how accents work in the language I'm learning, which is Spanish, but I still can't keep track of when to use whom.

Dang, she can do that just by being mentioned? I think I'll just go grab my copy of The Gates of Sleep so that I can whack my computer with it just in case.

I'll have to watch that Nuzlocke. by Hardric on 2016-06-06 07:57:00 UTC Reply

I saw the original one, Ky-nim's Nuzlockes, and a few others. And they were all great reads.

It wasn't explicitally said as legal, but in my opinion, it does follow the logic of streaming sites saying 'you can only watch these videos if you've got te DVDs linked to them.'

They're mostly type A. Pain is there.

I was thinking 'suggest' indeed. My bad.

Oh, normally she shouldn't. Not even sure Dresden hexes things that much. But comedic opportunity couldn't be ignored.

Which ones? by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-06 08:25:00 UTC Reply

I tried to read the originals, but I actually only found them after I'd read others, and found them far too short, because I was used to it taking an entire page to get past the first capture. I have read Ky-Nim's, and I may or may not have gotten a few of my ideas from her world-building. I've also read the ones by Kitfox, and that's where I got the Crasher Wake joke. In order, his are Sapphire, Platinum, Black 2, and an ongoing Soul Silver. I also read Pitch Black, which you probably don't want to read unless you like your protagonists as complete sociopaths -I say socio because he has little to no impulse control, and I'm pretty sure those ones are the sociopaths, but I'm not sure-, but stopped when the author just gave up and started doing just long strips of plot and finished the game up in about five pages when they were only at Castelia City before. Of course, these aren't the only ones I've read, but I'd have to look it up to be sure.

That does make a lot of sense. I guess I've been unintentionally breaking that rule. Most of my anime knowledge comes from the internet, and I have no idea where I'd put all the DVDs I'd need. ... I'd put them in Carmela's closet, that's where!

Oh, dear. It should at least make for some interesting reading. And maybe some book-substitute throwing, because I don't want to mess up the pages.

It's just a small thing. Really, you're better than some of the people who I actually know who've been speaking it all their lives, and you don't feel the need to use expletives as adjectives for every single word! Until I read your missions and agent bios, I had no idea that you didn't speak English as your first language, and that was mostly because of Richard's bio.

Of course. The Ironic Overpower attempts to bend the rules concerning his powers by using fictional characters to affect real life, perhaps?

Miizj's and Petty's, mainly. by Hardric on 2016-06-06 09:46:00 UTC Reply

Still so much more to read...

Well, this rul is not a hard one, andsome of tese DVDs woud be unfindable at all for the random westerner fan. Why do you think our money stink, Japan?

Oh yes, that will be interesting. Just read and see.

I call this the miracle of beta-readers. Not for my posts here, of course, but my mission only look like English thanks to them.

The IO is always here. Ready to destroy all of us.

If I can recommend another Nuzlocke... by Iximaz on 2016-06-06 14:49:00 UTC Reply

I've been following Folded, a Heart Gold run, and just... check out that link to see the title page. The artwork is adorable, the plot is rather intriguing, and it's pretty lighthearted for a Nuzlocke ~~which is why whenever there's a death you get kicked so hard in the stomach with feels you'll cry for days~~

I've been following it since the beginning and it's one of my favorites after Kynim's.

Thanks for the suggestion. by Hardric on 2016-06-06 15:32:00 UTC Reply

Let me return the favor. Sort of. There was this tribute to Nuzlockers on DeviantArt.

It's like a giant bookmark for Nuzlocke Challenges. Like the man 'himself' says on this panel 'what.'

P.S. by Hardric on 2016-06-06 15:35:00 UTC Reply

If you saw my (badly worded) question about MLP, what would be your opinion? Sorry if this annoy you.

Ooh, yeah! by Iximaz on 2016-06-06 15:49:00 UTC Reply

I would absolutely recommend it in a heartbeat! It took lots of bribes of Magic: The Gathering games, but I managed to get my brother to watch the first five episodes before he decided it was good. :P It might take some time to start liking it, not gonna lie... what happened with me was, I started watching it out of boredom to see what all the fuss was about, nearly quit at the theme song, then decided to sit through the first episode after Twilight used the word "precipice" without sounding condescending towards the younger audience members. And then the cliffhanger with Nightmare Moon happened, and I decided "fine, just one more episode, but only to see what happens next and that's it!"

Yeah, by the third episode, I was singing along with the theme song. :P

Tl;dr it's a good show if you give it the chance, but it isn't for everyone.

IndeMaat's still written more than I have, sorry. :P (nm) by Iximaz on 2016-06-05 23:43:00 UTC Reply

Not for very long. (nm) by Hardric on 2016-06-06 05:54:00 UTC Reply
What? by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-06 00:24:00 UTC Reply

Somebody's written more missions than you? This is truly shocking.

On the topic of missions, are you going to inflict My Immortal upon the Aviator and Zeb? That would make... Wow. Three. I was wrong. The Flowers are sadists. Especially since those are all Harry Potter badfics.

Yep. by Iximaz on 2016-06-06 01:13:00 UTC Reply

I'm very close to beating the record, though. Got another five missions finished and just waiting for publishing at the moment. ^^;

And yes, yes I am. I plan on making My Immortal be my 100th mission.

Although I'll enjoy reading that... by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-06 04:46:00 UTC Reply

I'd highly recommend that the Aviator and Zeb transfer to the Department of Finance. I'm not sure they can survive another Legendary Badfic without deciding that's it's a delightful time to go running through the hallways screaming, "Mr. Rogers! Mr. Rogers!"

Nah, they couldn't. by Iximaz on 2016-06-06 04:58:00 UTC Reply

If either of them had to leave the field, they'd go nuts from boredom. :P

And My Immortal isn't nearly as bad as Rose Potter or Little Miss Mary so I think they'll be juuust fine...

Well... by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-06 05:31:00 UTC Reply

It apparently reads like a trollfic, unlike the other two, which apparently actually sound serious. I wouldn't know, I haven't read them in any medium other than parody for the sake of my already-strained sanity. On the other hand, it apparently reads like a trollfic, with Harry, due to terrible spelling, developing a womb and then ripping it out of himself, probably with his bare hands, to use like a wand.

... That is a disgusting image that you should probably not read unless you have a supply of Bleeprin on hand. I should probably get some myself.

But, really, haven't the Aviator and Zeb been through enough? I mean, the Flowers haven't yet mastered human psychology yet, but I'm pretty sure they don't deliberately try to drive their agents insane. It results in too much paperwork and a dearth of agents who can actually do their jobs.

With Lenora... by Iximaz on 2016-06-04 22:31:00 UTC Reply

You're gonna want to make good use of those Chesto Berries Cheren gives you. Those have saved my butt a few times going against her stupid Watchog. Level 25 seems to be good, as well.

My Platinum team consisted of:

Natasha the Luxray (can you tell I love Luxrays?), who knew Thunder Fang, Shockwave, Crunch, and Toxic

Felix the Togekiss, who knew Grass Knot, Aerial Ace, Thunder Wave, and Return (RIP)

and Annabelle the Vaporeon, who knew Ice Beam, Surf, Quick Attack, and Shadow Ball

All of them went into the E4 at level 63. Poor Felix died to Cynthia's Milotic critting it with a surprise Ice Beam. (This is why you want to look stuff up before going in!) Annabelle ended up saving the day by oneshotting her Roserade, Togekiss, Lucario, and Garchomp with Ice Beam (save for the Lucario, who got a Surf to the face). She was quite the powerhouse. And yes, I'm bragging, I'm still proud of her. :P

Welcome! by DCCCV on 2016-06-03 15:15:00 UTC Reply

I'm probably a wee bit late welcoming you, but I do recommend that you join DOGA. Why? Well,

I am aware that this may not be historically accurate.

Late? What's late? by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-04 00:34:00 UTC Reply

While you do make a convincing argument, I rule the lands I live in. There is no evidence to bury, for it is written that any action I perform is not a crime. I am a Monarch, after all.

Well, you can still be arrested for treason. by DCCCV on 2016-06-04 02:46:00 UTC Reply

Like Charles I of England. He got charged with trying to overthrow himself.

Huh? by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-04 05:44:00 UTC Reply

He got arrested for trying to take the throne from himself? Isn't that kind of like asking yourself if you can have the candy bar that you paid for, telling yourself no, then taking it anyways, and getting arrested for it? The only way that really makes sense is if you have multiple personalities living within you and each legally qualifies as a person, and so one could, theoretically, do something without the other's permission. Of course, then there's the problem of figuring out how to punish the personality that broke the law without punishing the one that was harmed by the violation.

This is how I interpreted that. by DCCCV on 2016-06-04 18:49:00 UTC Reply

He was managing the country so badly, that it seemed like he was trying to collapse England, which would dethrone him. Hence, he was tried for treason.

He must have been a Smedry... by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-05 01:50:00 UTC Reply

Because that takes a whole lot of talent! Did they actually convict him?

Yes, he did. by DCCCV on 2016-06-05 04:08:00 UTC Reply

He got executed after several bad omens, apparently. His cane fell apart, and people came to think that the kingdom would do the same thing.

On an other topic:
Oh my goodness, you're a Brandon Sanderson fan!

Facts about me!
I did not read the books in order.
Alcatraz and the Shattered lenses started me on my path to pursue good literature.
I made a claymation book trailer for Alcatraz and the Evil Librarians.
I had no idea that you were supposed to use IMovie.
Good times.

Looks like the cane was about him, then, not the kingdom. by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-05 05:07:00 UTC Reply

Yup! I've only read a couple of his books, but the Alcatraz ones are just hilarious! It's virtually impossible to stay depressed while reading them, because even if there's a kinda sad part, Mood Whiplash strikes, and is occasionally accompanied by dinosaurs.

What's wrong with claymation? And please tell me there were lasers. You know, the lasers that probably aren't going to get fired and certainly won't do anything relevant to the plot.

Wait, doesn't he throw things at you, or at least insult you, if you don't read the books in order? Even if it's ridiculously hard to determine what the order is supposed to be, considering who runs our schools.

Smedrys do a happy dance when you read books in order. by DCCCV on 2016-06-05 15:42:00 UTC Reply

Otherwise, if you read the back of the book to see the ending, it usually ends with a PSA about how doing that can lower you performance playing HALO.

Or a Star Wars reference. by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-06 00:26:00 UTC Reply

Unless you do the right thing and read through the entire book. Then, you get a party. I thoroughly enjoyed mine.

On a random note... by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-06 08:59:00 UTC Reply

I was scrolling through everything, and I noticed that you play Pathfinder. Do you also play D&D, or do you a way to transmit the Pathfinder sourcebooks? If the offer's still open, I'd love to do something like that, especially since I've got the three main 3.5 sourcebooks sitting around and I've been itching to do something involving roleplaying ever since I got them.

I'm not completely sure. by DCCCV on 2016-06-06 23:35:00 UTC Reply

I can play both, but stuff's been happening recently. I need to focus on a few things at the moment. I think that I shoudnt be doing anything like that at the moment, since I'm kinda upset that I got kicked out of a campaign I was in for the last 2 months. When things cool down, sure.

Welcome by Bram on 2016-06-03 15:11:00 UTC Reply

Have a purple glitter gel pen. Your agents aren't allowed to write mission reports with them.

I'm glad it's not urple. by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-04 00:20:00 UTC Reply

Well, if they exist in the relatively far future. And of course they're not. The Flowers might not want all agents to die incredibly painful deaths or go flamethrower-crazy, but being forced to read reports written in blood, and worse, the blood of Sues, would probably change their minds.

Another Ice Themed Boarder?! by Mattman The Comet on 2016-06-03 14:29:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to our little hovel of the internet, have Rotom-in-a-Pokedex. You can engage in conversation with it!

Magical talking box! by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-04 00:16:00 UTC Reply

Sun and Moon are gonna be awesome! And I knew in-game Pokemon were sentient! I knew it!

Thank you for the Pokedex. Hopefully Rotom's not too mad about being stuffed inside a Pokedex. It can't possibly be as roomy as a lawnmower.

The Monarchs Stormforth! by Desdendelle on 2016-06-03 07:40:00 UTC Reply

Or, in ~~Hebrew~~ English: Hi! Here, have this card — I think it fits.

Royal Ice Cream for all who understand the Royal Reference! by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-04 00:07:00 UTC Reply

Thanks! He'll help me recover from Larfen's accidental assassination attempts! Now I just have to go grab my Spell Cards... A Trap or three probably won't go amiss... Unless all these fires don't count as Monsters, in which case, I'll just grab March.

Well... by Desdendelle on 2016-06-04 13:38:00 UTC Reply

You can always use Erebus' effect to spin those troubles away.

I am immortal! by Exactly! on 2016-06-05 06:52:00 UTC Reply

Erebus + Prime + March = You mad, bro?

I just used a meme. Pardon me while I wash my keyboard and brain with bleach. The compound, not the manga. I don't have enough volumes to get enough substance if I liquified them.

Ignister Prominence would like to have a word, please. (nm) by Desdendelle on 2016-06-05 12:58:00 UTC Reply

I'm not dead... by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-05 21:56:00 UTC Reply

just returned to the deck. He's effectively just returned me to my wonderful palace until I am needed again. And then I'll summon Zaborg, then call upon Ehther to call me back out to the field. I have returned. Mwa ha ha.

Whoops... by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-05 06:57:00 UTC Reply

I mixed up my subject and author lines, there. Hopefully that doesn't result in anything... drastic.

Hey, over there! by Larfen J. Stocke, esq on 2016-06-03 07:25:00 UTC Reply

Welcome, your highness. Do avoid the dark corners, we put the bodies there.
Not enough space in the basement, unfortunately.

I present upon you, your royal highness, a warm campfire!
Oh, er that won't do?
Ice-cream? Monarch? Of ice-cream?
Er.
How about this microwave?
Right, of course, silly me, an oven!
No?
I can see that, how about a furnace?
Oh, of course, of course.
How about the sun?
Oh, dear, you're right.
Melts ice-cream, too.
I'm very sorry.
Please don't wage war on us.

Don't worry, I have an umbrella. by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-04 00:12:00 UTC Reply

It stops explosions, so the sun should be no problem. Plus, I've got Erebus, so I'll just keep resurrecting myself.

Hello newbie. by Hardric on 2016-06-03 06:10:00 UTC Reply

Please have this pot of black-hole coffee.

Only one hundred tabs open at once? Little player, back in time I could do up to 140. Then I began pilling up bookmarks to avoid this.

Now, I see all the questions have een asked, so only thing left is saying welcome to the madhouse, and hopes you enjoy your stay enough for sticking around for a long time.

Oh, coffee! by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-04 00:28:00 UTC Reply

It functions just like regular coffee, correct? In which case, might I know who your supplier is?

My, my, I am an amateur. Who knows how long I'll stay, but however long it is, I doubt I'll be able to forget it!

Welcome to the PPC! by Scapegrace on 2016-06-03 01:41:00 UTC Reply

Please accept this starter Pokémon:-

Iiiiiiiit's Swinub!

And your starting item is:-

Breath of Hachiman from Ascendant!

The Breath of Hachiman is a really interesting item in competitive, because it really suits offensively oriented 'mons. Its effect is a boost the damage of STAB moves by 2x when you reach 50% health, but the catch is you can only use it once. Swinub's not got much in the way of HP or Speed, but it does have one asset: priority. Try an Adamant one EV trained in Attack and HP, with Ice Shard, Earthquake, Rock Slide, and Curse if you think you can get a boost off or Superpower for the coverage. Just remember to have fun!

(the temptation to fudge the random pokemon generator and give you vanilluxe was enormous. =] )

MORE FLUFFY!!! by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-03 02:31:00 UTC Reply

This little guy is even cuter than the puppy-shaped sticky notes! I'd use the Royal Capslock Which Occurs Due to Adorableness Overloads, but I just used them in the last post, and overusing them would lead to stern lectures about Royal Etiquette. Any yes, at the Royal Palace, we do indeed capitalize most words of any phrase that begins with the word Royal. It leads to some interesting moments.

Anyways, even if I have no idea what the bunny Ascendant is, I gratefully accept your offer, and I shall certainly remember your advice. That is, after I get done gushing over my adorable little Swinub. I think I'll call him Trick.

(I cannot blame you, for had I been in your shoes, I probably would have done it.)

Ascendant's AWESOME. by Scapegrace on 2016-06-03 09:06:00 UTC Reply

It's a platforming roguelike beat-em-up, kind of like if Rogue Legacy was crossed with Golden Axe and The Binding of Isaac. And then given a beautiful, coherent aesthetic reminiscent of Attic-ware. Check it out! =]

Welcome, your Majesty! by eatpraylove on 2016-06-03 01:25:00 UTC Reply

Here are some sprinkles and a pack of dog-shaped sticky notes! :)

FLUFFY! by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-03 02:02:00 UTC Reply

CUTE!!! YAY!!! I will hug them, and pet them, and not ever use them. Oh, wait. You meant two-dimensional, miniature dog-shaped sticky notes. Ah, well. They're still adorable, and in my lack of organization, I probably will just stick them in my Royal Office and forget about them, except when I look directly at them. I shall then likely repeat the above performance, except possibly at a greater volume. I do that a lot. My assistants all where earmuffs.

Mmmmm, ice cream! P: by SkarmorySilver on 2016-06-03 00:06:00 UTC Reply

Anyway, welcome aBoard! Have one of my own shed feathers and a complimentary kit of Spikes!

Birdie! by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-03 01:55:00 UTC Reply

Wait- It's the Skarmory! Take cover! *Ducks behind mattress. Notices no thunks. Comes out from behind mattress.* Oh. I see you've stopped throwing them at people. Very well then. *Looks back in time.* Ah, yes, it's been handing instead of throwing for a while now. I'm terribly unobservant. Thank you, then. I'll take those. I'll just have to make sure not to accidentally stab myself with the feather. I'm sure flying is wonderful, but I like having arms.

And no, I am not edible. Just thought I ought to mention that.

Newbie! *glomp* *poke* by Iximaz on 2016-06-02 23:28:00 UTC Reply

Hello, and welcome aBoard! For your newbie gift, take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti!

You already answered my usual questions, so I'll instead ask what your favorite fandoms are. :D

Hope you like it here!

YUMS! by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-03 01:36:00 UTC Reply

Eel! *Dodges, prepares mattress for landing* ... Oh. Okay. The flying part is literal. Never mind then. *Removes mattress* Anyways, yay! SPaGhetti! Maybe if I eat it, it'll help me learn where to insert paragraph breaks!

I'm not sure I have a favorite, just because I've got this tendency to binge on one after another, so it usually happens to be whatever I'm binging on at the moment. Right now, that's Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood.

[Ridiculous wall of text has been removed by order of the Honorable Council of Fantasy Writers Whose Books are Way Too Long. He was muscling in on our territory, and we had to take action.]

Wah. The HCoFWWBaWTL is mean. Since I've been prohibited from rewriting what I had earlier, here's a much, much shorter list.

Top Ten Series/Continua of all time, in no particular order:
Harry Potter
Bleach
Fairy Tail
Pokemon
Young Wizards
Valdemar
Elemental Masters
Ouran High School Host Club
RWBY
Tortall

Aquatic species? by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-03 01:57:00 UTC Reply

Did I really say eel? Yes, yes I did. I'd say it's autocorrect, but I'm using a computer. I honestly don't know how that happened. I think I was going for the k. Sorry.

Eels are perfectly fine, too. :P (nm) by Iximaz on 2016-06-03 01:59:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to Creation, here's your shovel. by Voyd on 2016-06-02 23:28:00 UTC Reply

Have a shovel that digs up...

...more shovels. Um.

Infinite magic, and spoilers if you highlight it. by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-03 01:46:00 UTC Reply

Since every shovel in your possession seems to be magical, this shovel must dig up magical shovels. Therefore, I now have an infinite supply of shovels that dig up random things, some of which can be used for World Domination, which, as power corrupts, I will inevitably attempt, slaughtering millions of innocent people. I hope you're happy with what you've done.

Warning: The below paragraph contains spoilers for RWBY. Read at your own risk.

Nah, just kidding. I cast Identify, and they're all normal. ... I know! I'll rewrite the last episode of RWBY and give Pyrhha these shovels, ensuring that she is victorious and lives FOREVER!!! ... If only.

Anyways, thanks! I might find a use for these... eventually... if I ever go into construction! Maybe.

Sorry, shovels can't rewrite history. by Voyd on 2016-06-03 02:46:00 UTC Reply

By the way, what agent teams do you follow?

Technically... by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-03 03:10:00 UTC Reply

Shovels can't rewrite history, but they can dig up something that can! Pity I don't have that shovel, though.

As for agents, I'll take this as a "Who have you read?" because I'm not sure if there's a difference.
1. Jay and Acacia, obviously, but they're worth mentioning anyways.
2. Rina/The Aviator, both when partnered with Randa and Zeb.
3. Evangeline von Lilith and Rayner Blitzkrieg.
4. Valon and Kala.
5. Supernumerary and Ilraen
6. Falchion, Ripper and Rashida, as I'm pretty sure she's back all the way now, as well as all the other combinations that have worked their way through that RC.
7. Chakkik, both with Gabby and Stephanie.
8. Sarah, Lapis and Cupid.
9. William Grey and VJ.
10. Za'kiir and Natalie.

Okay, that's more than I thought there were. Now I look Royally Creepy. Woo hoo.

Trust me, it's not creepy. by Voyd on 2016-06-03 13:05:00 UTC Reply

It shows that you like reading a lot, which we love.

~~(also I'm Valon, Kala, and Chakkik's author)~~

*Sigh of relief* by Granz the Ice Cream Monarch on 2016-06-05 07:00:00 UTC Reply

And yup, I know. I've read all of yours and SkarmorySilver's, Silenthunder's, Matt Cipher's, even though with the latter two it's just one agent pair each, and I've read one each of Iximaz's and Neshomeh's. I totally did not look that up, and I think that's how you format a list where multiple people are in possession of different things, but the things are not mentioned themselves.