Missing word detected by
Hieronymus Graubart
on 2016-05-15 14:46:00 UTC
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Thanks to the Sue replacing nearly instance of "I" with "we", she and Percy ended up simultaneously making the sign to ward off evil, causing Gabe to be whacked by the screen door with twice as much force.
"nearly every instance"?
HG
Pretty good mission. by
son_of_heaven176
on 2016-05-13 00:23:00 UTC
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I was able to follow it with little trouble, even without having read the Percy Jackson books. Good work.
Do you really have it in for your Agents?! First the Bleep allergy, then Rose Potter, and now a portent of impending death? Then again, Hardric could be right and the cut was really for the Sue...
but if that were the case, then there would be three cuts, not two...
*looks through the LXX for an appropriate prayer*
*Ahem*
Either way, obligatory nitpicks ahoy:
1) “I’ll save the trouble of guessing. Spoiler alert: yes, yes you do,” the Aviator said in annoyance.
Missing word: "I'll save you the trouble of guessing."
2) This is… this is just… I can’t even He doesn’t even get snippy with her? She just drove a god OOC!
Missing punctuation before "He". I recommend an ellipsis or an em dash.
3) Braccas meas vescimini!
Do I detect Translatin? The last two words are correct Latin, but WORDS does not recognize the first word. What were you trying to say? "Eat my ____"
So, not daily, but bidaily? Can still live with that. by
Hardric
on 2016-05-11 20:41:00 UTC
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Seriously, how o you manage to write so much good stuff so fast? If you want to become a writer someday, just do it, you're guaranteed to success.
The cut was really for the glitterbag, so no need to worry, right? Right?
Iximaz scores a Triple Kill! :) by
Matt Cipher
on 2016-05-11 19:59:00 UTC
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Both inside the mission and out!
Great job, dealing with the most annoying cliche of the Percy Jackson universe: Percy's sister! Ugh... I can't stand them!
One mythological nitpick, if I may:
“why would Percy’s mom have named her daughter after a nymph who turned into a tree? I mean, she named Percy after one of the few Greek heroes to get a happy ending, so wouldn’t Atalanta or something make more sense?”
Atalanta's story doesn't end well, actually. Sure, after the Calydonian Boar Hunt she gets married and becomes the queen of either Beotia or Arcadia (sources differ on this one)...but she and her husband decided to do the waka-waka in Zeus's temple. Needless to say, the Big Guy wasn't happy, and turned them into lions.