Sort of surprised.

New mission! by Iximaz on 2016-05-09 06:32:00 UTC Reply

Yes, I know, this is another short one. In my defense, the source material was only a chapter long, but it was Bad.

Ix and Lottie get a Frozen "crackfic" that is anything but.

Sort of surprised. by Larfen J. Stocke, esq on 2016-05-10 06:39:00 UTC Reply

I thought this would be more cringey than it was.
I mean, poorly done drama, or what have you is usually hilarious, right?
Poorly done comedy, satire and whatnot... isn't.
I would know, I'm very familiar with poorly done comedy.

You delivered it well, is all I'm saying. This must've been hell to read.
That sexophone joke. Eugh.
Conspicuous enough to be clearly for comedy, not structured enough to be even remotely funny.
Quick question by son_of_heaven176 on 2016-05-10 02:36:00 UTC Reply

Charlotte being made of stone: is that a sparklepire thing, or is it something from her native badfic?

Sparklepire thing. by Iximaz on 2016-05-10 02:39:00 UTC Reply

It's never explicitly said in canon what material it is they're made of but they're frequently described as being like marble (you know... indestructible, sparkling marble...) and when we see one of the sparklepires get her head ripped off and later dismembered, there was no blood, just the sound of rocks being broken. Are they actually made of stone? I don't think so, but it's certainly close enough.

Made particularly nonsensical, by Larfen J. Stocke, esq on 2016-05-10 06:28:00 UTC Reply

considering that there's an entire collection of skin diseases based on the hardening of certain bits of skin.

You know, hard.
Like stone.

Cobbles is a serious illness. by Huinesoron on 2016-05-10 10:40:00 UTC Reply

Even if it does enable you to fly.

hS

Plus, they've got rocks for brains, soooo... =] (nm) by Scapegrace on 2016-05-10 03:29:00 UTC Reply

Clearly not crack. by Hardric on 2016-05-09 18:59:00 UTC Reply

Ix and Charlotte are right, the 'crack' is only a weak excuse for not getting any flak... Flak well-deserved with the story only talking about Elsa's chest.

~~Now, if short means a daily mission, I could live with that~~... Kidding, just write the way it feels right for you. And don't worry, quality is still here for you, just as its lack is a constant in badfic.

That's what I hate about the crack label. by Iximaz on 2016-05-09 20:27:00 UTC Reply

People slap it on bad writing and go "lol it doesn't have to be good because crack!!1one!" >.> I have read good crack. It's flipping hilarious. This was boring, too realistic for something claiming to be crack, and just augh. It wasn't even bad crack, it was just... bad. But I ranted enough about that in the mission.

And sorry, but the next one's going to be a bit longer: a Percy Jackson fic where it turns out he has three sisters, all daughters of Poseidon.

Yep. Three.

*vomits*

I used to think "crack" meant "not canon-compliant" by Cat-on-the-Keyboard on 2016-05-10 04:14:00 UTC Reply

So I have stories floating around labeled "crack" that are realistic modern AUs, realistic secret agent AUs, and one thing that I think is just slash. *shakes head* I need to go clean all that up.

If you find anything you like... by Scapegrace on 2016-05-10 09:55:00 UTC Reply

Feel free to chuck 'em at us. You seem talented and we could use another goodfic thread. =]

Three?! (nm) by Mattman The Comet on 2016-05-09 20:41:00 UTC Reply

Yep, three. by Iximaz on 2016-05-09 20:42:00 UTC Reply

One's his twin, one's their younger sister (aged eight IIRC) and one who's older and their half sister.

Oh, and the story is plagiarized out the wazoo.

Linky. Read at your own risk.

Blllargh.... by DCCCV on 2016-05-09 23:23:00 UTC Reply

Clearly, I can't stomach bad fanfic.
*Reads first chapter* by Hardric on 2016-05-09 21:13:00 UTC Reply

Eh, I didn't read The Lightning Thief for a long time, but is that blatant, and almost complete, plagiarization from chapter one? With Sister one stealing the spotlight and bashing her brother?

Ave and Zeb sure know how to get all the fun.

Yup, copied almost word-for-word. (nm) by Iximaz on 2016-05-09 21:36:00 UTC Reply

First Rose Potter, now this. by son_of_heaven176 on 2016-05-10 02:35:00 UTC Reply

Do you look for plagiarism badfics, or were you just (un)lucky with this one?

I just got (un)lucky. by Iximaz on 2016-05-10 02:40:00 UTC Reply

I was just derping through for a good PJO fic that would hold my interest and this one was a real gem if you ask me. The worst offender, though, would have to be chapter five, when it strays off the beaten path... hoo boy.

...I'll be happy to provide assistance if need be (nm) by Mattman The Comet on 2016-05-09 20:52:00 UTC Reply

No worries, I got this. by Iximaz on 2016-05-09 21:05:00 UTC Reply

Mission's already partially written anyway.

Great job on this one by Cat-on-the-Keyboard on 2016-05-09 17:50:00 UTC Reply

That's probably one of the most unpleasant badfics I've ever been exposed to. Bizarre, but not bizarre enough to have the distancing effect that makes crack funny. Your agents'observations were spot on. I'm also really enjoying seeing them develop. Ix is kind of reminding me of a Lighter and Softer version of Gabrielle, but maybe that's because I was just rereading her spinoff. I don't mean to imply you're repeating yourself; Ix is clearly her own character.

I'm going to have the song exorcism stuck in my head all day now. Thanks.

--Key

Thanks. by Iximaz on 2016-05-09 20:22:00 UTC Reply

This one was definitely bizarre, but I wouldn't say it was unpleasant. At least, there was nothing squicky (for me) in it, just a boatload of annoyances.

Ix being like Gabrielle, I'm not too sure about. Gabrielle is a Stepford Smiler—she hides her pain behind a façade of bubbly happiness. With Ix, what you see is what you get; even though she had traumatic stuff happen to her, she had support in her family and at Hogwarts so she never had the time to develop the angst that was scheduled for her later in the fic she came from.

I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves! I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes for-ev-er...

Yeah, they're definitely not similar in that way by Cat-on-the-Keyboard on 2016-05-10 04:11:00 UTC Reply

It was more that they felt like the same kind of jumpy. They're both quick to assume that their partners hate them, for instance, and generally have a sort of twitchiness about them.

But as I said, I just finished reading that spinoff, and now I'm seeing Doktors and Gabrielles everywhere.

Also, I was very deeply squicked by that fic and you are very luck you weren't. *groans*

Ah, yeah, that would do it. by Iximaz on 2016-05-10 04:22:00 UTC Reply

They're both skittish about upsetting other people because of the obvious reasons. :)

And ugh, sorry you were squicked by that. I... probably shouldn't point you in the direction of HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, then. It's a lot worse than this.

It's absolutely terrible, but I still think it's absolutely hilarious.

No, short is good. by Huinesoron on 2016-05-09 10:15:00 UTC Reply

You covered everything, it was entertaining - I like the fact that you're making use of Charlotte's species - it didn't need to be ten miles long.

My one question is: was there anything that actually made it a Frozen fic other than the names?

hS

:) by Iximaz on 2016-05-09 15:19:00 UTC Reply

~~is that a challenge, hS?~~

And no, it was basically "Lol BEWBS" the whole time, but since I've had very few missions where nobody dies at the end, I was running on the assumption that the characters had been hijacked from their canons and possessed by the author.