Subject: Happy birthday, you rusty codger.
Author:
Posted on: 2016-04-16 02:22:00 UTC
You're so bloody old, I think I can actually hear the arthritic creaking of your ancient, aeon-worn joints.
Don't type too fast, mate! Your fingers might collapse into fine particles of dust, and what'll you do then?
My present to you is: A pair of dentures.
Who knows how long those teeth'll last for?
Seeing as I'm twenty as of today! So you darn kids, get off mah lawn :).
Party in the Slightly Too Big Auditorium anyone?
You're so bloody old, I think I can actually hear the arthritic creaking of your ancient, aeon-worn joints.
Don't type too fast, mate! Your fingers might collapse into fine particles of dust, and what'll you do then?
My present to you is: A pair of dentures.
Who knows how long those teeth'll last for?
I mean, I'm about two years older. Birthday's coming up soon, in fact. And I shudder to think how ancient hS, Nesh and the rest of the oldbies are.
Piles of dust on the floor, been rotting for centuries, dug up and being showcased in a museum, students in Ancient History doing assessments about you.
Old.
And remember you're now one fifth of the way to 100.
Have both Black-hole coffee and black-hole chocolates, please.
I'd be happy to go to the party but beware. Being a twenager is way overrated.
Here's a ghost-shaped mini-Missingno! Its name is sunstone, it doesn't eat, and like all mini-Missingno, it has a rotten sense of humor. Have fun!
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE
HOPE NOBODY MAKES YOU BLUE
AND YOUR CAKE DOESN'T EXPLODE IN GOO!
*blows noisemakers*
Many happy returns!
HIT IT!
Happy Birthday my olde friend.
It seems this horror show will never end.
Any moment's your last breath,
Here is to another day closer to death.
Have some boxes of dubious origin! They all have very pretty bows. There might be a hamster or something in one of them, or perhaps just a jar of Marmite. Who knows? Enjoy your day of birth, and have fun celebrating with traditional (or non-traditional) human customs!
-Vee
Have some mint and orange cookies! They taste how growing up feels. ;D
Have a good one! And here's some virtual cake and some bleepolate! Enjoy your Name Day!