Subject: More corrections.
Author:
Posted on: 2016-04-16 02:08:00 UTC

“Do I look like I care?” Asked Cupid, pouring the Bleeport into his Chalice.
Capitalization error. Should be obvious where.

“Wait, is Palutena saying that there are reinforcements coming?” asked Rashida.
As it stands, it may be confusing to the reader. I suggest that you clarify that it is the Aurum that are receiving reinforcements:
“Wait, is Palutena saying that the Aurum have reinforcements coming?” asked Rashida.

“Aside from a brief bit where the two parties reluctantly agree to work together, I don’t think we’ve got much to take note of,"
Which two parties? I'm guessing the Aurum and the Underworld Army?

“That can be arranged,” said Rashida, before she opened a huge portal and the POVs fell through with a few startled SNRFs.
We know that "snrf" is the noise the povs make, not an acronym. However, as written, it looks like an acronym. I suggest either italicizing or using quotation marks to clarify that you aren't using an acronym that no one knows:
“That can be arranged,” said Rashida, before she opened a huge portal and the POVs fell through with a few startled SNRFs.

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