Subject: Woah, typos.
Author:
Posted on: 2016-03-21 20:01:00 UTC
What I meant to say say was "Fabulous, as always." I am continually in awe of your writing, and this did not disappoint!! That Sue was pretty bad, though. Have some chocolate.
The Aviator's study session is interrupted when she and Zeb get sent into How to Train Your Dragon.
What a fun mission! I'm glad to see that HTTYD is getting some fan fiction justice. I did notice one error during the scene where Toothless is watching his food with a love-sick expression. The agents were "fetching" against the wall instead of "retching" (I assume).
Though fetching up against is correct.
I do have to wonder what happened to Ruby and Vamps, though. They were as out of place as the Sue and her stupid Night Fury subspecies/variant/whatever, but they were never mentioned again after their first appearance. I would've thought the agents took care of them too? IDK.
Anyway, great work as usual, and if what you've said earlier is true, I look forward to reading Charlotte and Ix's first mission! :D
Ruby and Vamps just kind of vanished into thin air only to reappear later in the story; I think I noted that they'd been apparently swallowed by the Words.
I'm already working on the Lottie/Ix mission, and it involves a daughter of Lupin fic that should make for an interesting first time in the field...
This glitterbag felt really stupid. What the heck are people thinking when they write people like this? Kudos for Librarian too.
Rant. Sorry, I need this out of the system.
I'll sound like a broken record and a fanbrat, but this tracker annoy me. The events the Aviator talked about already happened, and she paid for them, how the duck talking about them for psychological help, something which show that these events felt real, have lasting and realistic consequences would rise an alarm? Why punish a realistic behaviour? Does this thing exist to make sure Ave can never get better and remain a wreck or what?
Not that I'm feeling particularly rant-y myself, but I don't see how so much as mentioning past events sets off the Sue-tracker. Plus, how many Sues have you ever seen to visit a shrink? I'm pretty sure that would count as negative Suedom points.
... Or, wait, did it go off because she was refusing to go, as though her history is so much weirder than all the other weird shit that's happened in/around HQ (and to Jenni, for that matter)? That might make sense. Reading it again, it's not specified exactly what set it off.
That aside, nice mission. {= ) I'm glad there's another HtTYD one, and wow, that fic sounds just about as dumb as "The Girl and Her Dragon." Blech. Gall and Derik send their condolences. Normally they'd offer a gift of alcohol, but under the circumstances, would your agents accept a flask of Monstrous Nightmare gel? It can be used for destruction, rather like napalm, but it also makes for great torches. Dead useful, really. (I had the thought that Gall might makes some money selling the stuff to Leto Haven in exchange for Dragon Chow and whatnot. It was probably Derik's idea.)
Best line: “You don’t have enough badges to train me!” Too bad Ave was too startled to get the joke.
A few typos:
She wrapped his arms around her jaws, struggling to keep them clamped firmly shut.
Her arms, surely?
“Right, Nightshade,” he panted, “also known a Sue Dragon"
As.
“What happened to ‘don’t talk about the fish thing?”
Missing a closing single-quote.
And... that's my two cents.
~Neshomeh
I was thinking it was more going off because she was going "Wah I'm such a Sue I can't talk about things because I'm a Sue, angstangstangstangst—" So... she's angsting about turning into a Sue, and that's what's causing the tracker to let her know 'hey, knock it off.' *shrugs*
“And on top of that she understands trees and reads auras to boot. S’not even taking into account everything else. Is there anything she can’t do?”
“Turn into a dragon?”
“Don’t jinx it.”
I had to make a nod to the other HTTYD mission. ;) I love the continuum, but I just haven't gone delving into fanfic for it until recently. My agents would definitely accept the gift gladly.
Thanks for the corrections—I noticed them earlier but I was on mobile, and forgot about them until I got home. They're corrected now.
Apparently you corrected also known a Sue Dragon to also known Sue Dragon.
Shouldn’t it be "also known as Sue Dragon"?
HG
She's Suvian in no small part because she thinks she's a Sue, a way of thinking only reinforced by this tracker (I must be a Sue since I have a Sue tracker). When the thing warns her about it, the fact it does not indicate why it beeps only leads her to think she's right, continuing a vicious circle. The Flowers could teach things about torture to Dark Eldars and Dark Elves.
What I meant to say say was "Fabulous, as always." I am continually in awe of your writing, and this did not disappoint!! That Sue was pretty bad, though. Have some chocolate.