"Do not meddle in the affairs of assassins! They are heavily armed and quick to anger. And not noticeably subtle."

So far as I know it's not technically from a mission, but it just perfectly sums up the PPC to me. Fandom, humour, and a love of all things weaponry. Plus, it holds a special place in my heart for being one of the first things I read when I found the PPC.

"I punched that cat in the face one time, people! ONE! TIME!"
(SkarmorySilver)

"You forgot 'mass goblin sex.'"

"I said unspeakable acts in Moria. Unspeakable, as in should not be spoken of ever again."

"WHY IS THE POOP THERE?"

That mission was the funniest I've ever been. Ix and I knocked it out of the park on that one, and I've never quite reached the same heights. The writing was natural, the agents had real chemistry, it just... worked. It worked really, really well.

Ein Frohliche Weihnachten mit Doktor Trollenfisch und Gabrielle is the best mission I've ever written, mostly because I was working with, to say nothing of inspired by, one of my best friends. It's my favourite line because it reminds me of the wonderful time I had working on that fic, and who knows? Maybe I'll write something as good again.

One day. =]

"It's happened again." Jay leaned back from her console, indicating a flashing red light. "Someone's mucking with the plot continuum."

The famous line that started the entire community. I was hooked the instant I read it.

Not a single quote, but a whole dialog.

"You claimed to create God. You realize that God created the universe, right?"

"Duh."

"And you're part of the universe, so God created you, right?"

She nodded.

"But you created God. You're the Mother of God—and don't give me any BS about a physical incarnation. You gave birth to God's 'true form'. She said so, remember? So, how could God create the universe, and yourself, if she didn't exist yet?"

"I . . . she . . . what?"

"You heard me. Explain how you can exist if God created the universe, but you only now created God."

"I create God, then God creates the universe at the beginning of time and creates me so I can create her! It's a stable time loop!"

"Wrong! If Elaine is present at the beginning of the universe, that negates the causality loop requiring her to be born now. If she's already there at the beginning of time, she doesn't lie dormant 'waiting for the perfect match to find each other'. If that doesn't happen, you don't give birth to her. If you don't give birth to her, she doesn't exist, and neither do you. The loop collapses, and you—both of you—cease to be."

The two looked at each other.

"Oh dear," said Rachel.

"I hadn't thought of that," said Elaine.

Both of them promptly vanished in a puff of logic.

Supernumerary, killing glitterbags and 'gods' with logic.

And for bonus points, the first part of it:


"Shut up! You've played the helpless victim card so hard I doubt you could even touch me." And then inspiration struck, and he grinned. "In fact, I know you can't. You just gave birth. It's taken a lot out of you. You're in a lot of pain, and your muscles are about as useful as cooked spaghetti right now."

And it was true. The world received its instructions and, because they were spoken with conviction and made perfect sense, took them to heart.

From Neshomeh's mission to "Ring Child." It describes what we do pretty well, and it's also quite awesome. :D