Subject: I've spent the last several hours...
Author:
Posted on: 2016-03-18 13:08:00 UTC
... trying to pin down what bothers me about this story.
It's not the worldbuilding. I love the worldbuilding (and the name-drop of Tree Fu Bom, don't think I missed that); the idea of RCs growing their own produce and trading it around fits in very nicely, and the smell-alert is a lovely concept.
I think I've figured it out, though. At its heart, this is still very much a PPC story. I didn't feel like I was exploring a new world - I felt like someone had changed around some of the technology.
Obviously, it's your story, etc etc. But the reason I enjoy things like the TCDA, or the FPF, is that they feel... different. The stories you can tell in a 'PPC' running around in spaceships are very different to the ones you can tell in HQ.
Like I say, it's not the worldbuilding. I wouldn't have done it how you did (why not go all the way and just set up HQ outside?), but that's fine, different people write different things, and I can understand your desire to keep things in a building. But the feel of the story... wasn't 'move quietly and plant things'. It was 'the PPC'.
-You have (star, even) an Internal Affairs department in a supposedly laid-back setting. They act (per the Tiger Lily) just like a police force. Where's the calm, soothing aspect of that?
-People go flamethrower-crazy often enough that the term exists. Why? This is the calm, gentle PPC; why is there still enough stress to make people snap?
-You still have a DoDAEG in a solarpunk setting. Why not take the opportunity to invent something new? (Random notion: they don't like doing it, but in the event of severe solar/water outages, the energy folks have emergency biomass generators. When the suns get dim, people have to start donating fruit as fuel...)
-You still kill Suvians (even if you do grow blue-green algae off their bodies). I can't think of a less blunt way to say this: what's the point of being calm and soothing if you're keeping the violent murder part of the setting the same? ;P
I liked the worldbuilding. I liked the writing. I just feel like this is a halfway-story, not a full-fledged AU.
hS