Subject: True, but advice is advice and you're right about a lot.
Author:
Posted on: 2016-03-19 01:21:00 UTC
I'll be greatly expanding this AU at a later date, when my uni stuff's calmed down a bit. Until then, all the stuff from this thread will be percolating in my brain. =]
Unfortunately, it's not the Boarder Pokémon AU. I still need to finish that. Instead, I was inspired to write a very brief, very light, very soft AU focused around the aesthetic and ideology of solarpunk, something I stumbled upon recently but have grown to love. The unofficial motto?
Move Quietly and Plant Things
Thanks for reading. =]
Over the next few days to a week, I'll be reworking the setting and ethos of the Solarpunk AU to fit more in line with the massively utopian setup we've talked about in the thread. I haven't been a solarpunk for long, but it's already very dear to my heart and I want to get this right. There's a lot of stuff I didn't include because I couldn't see how to maintain the pacing... but the pacing's gentle anyway and I think I was trying to convince myself it wasn't just being rushed out.
I have been desperate to contribute something to the panoply of PPC AUs ever since I first read the Trouserverse stories. I'm keenly aware that I don't write many stories at all, and the ones I do write I don't finish. I wanted to... well, I wanted to show off my shiny new toys, and I forgot to look before I leaped. What this story was was a really, really good... draft. And you guys deserve the finished product.
So I'mma finish it.
Thanks to everyone for the kind words and constructive criticism. I couldn't ask for a better sounding Board. =]
Over the next few days to a week, I'll be reworking the setting and ethos of the Solarpunk AU to fit more in line with the massively utopian setup we've talked about in the thread. I haven't been a solarpunk for long, but it's already very dear to my heart and I want to get this right. There's a lot of stuff I didn't include because I couldn't see how to maintain the pacing... but the pacing's gentle anyway and I think I was trying to convince myself it wasn't just being rushed out.
I have been desperate to contribute something to the panoply of PPC AUs ever since I first read the Trouserverse stories. I'm keenly aware that I don't write many stories at all, and the ones I do write I don't finish. I wanted to... well, I wanted to show off my shiny new toys, and I forgot to look before I leaped. What this story was was a really, really good... draft. And you guys deserve the finished product.
So I'mma finish it.
Thanks to everyone for the kind words and constructive criticism. I couldn't ask for a better sounding Board. =]
<3
Since hS basically said everything that I would have said, as well as things that I never thought of but now makes sense, I'll just jump right into the corrections:
1) Yes, ma’am. Still a bit stiff, but it’s just his way. He’ll be right, no worries.
I believe you mean to say, "He'll be alright".
2) The Male Gingko
I believe that this is the PPC's first ever mini-Flower! (The correct spelling is "Ginkgo".)
3) And if there’s anyone vulnerable to people going a bit flamethrower-crazy, it’s a five-foot pitcher planet with a nervous disposition.
I believe you meant "pitcher plant," unless Victreebel decided to role-play as part of a planetarium for some odd reason...
"She'll be right" is Strine in origin (Australian, to you and me). Lola has a bit of an accent on account of rooming with one in Cheyenne Mountain. Blame XCOM. And her homefic. But mostly XCOM. =]
I've read this, but I'm not sure how I feel about it. The writing's good, but something's bugging me and I don't know what. It's probably just me, though.
That said: what is up with the Pokémon AU? That one has a lot of promise and looks like tonnes of fun.
Oh, and, related to that: what 'mon should I switch Talonflame for if I want to take Leader!Des' team and use it for Monotype battling (Talonflame is banned in Monotype)?
Fast sweeper with Flying-type coverage? Prolly Mega Charizard Y. If you have another mega in the team, try a Chandelure with a Scarf.
Scape, did you receive the mail I sent to you about my team?
(I agree with the second, Scarf Candelure can stab pretty much anything.)
Yes, I did. Not much really to say; it's a solid monotype team that should do well in the hands of a reasonably skilled player. See you in the tournament! =]
... trying to pin down what bothers me about this story.
It's not the worldbuilding. I love the worldbuilding (and the name-drop of Tree Fu Bom, don't think I missed that); the idea of RCs growing their own produce and trading it around fits in very nicely, and the smell-alert is a lovely concept.
I think I've figured it out, though. At its heart, this is still very much a PPC story. I didn't feel like I was exploring a new world - I felt like someone had changed around some of the technology.
Obviously, it's your story, etc etc. But the reason I enjoy things like the TCDA, or the FPF, is that they feel... different. The stories you can tell in a 'PPC' running around in spaceships are very different to the ones you can tell in HQ.
Like I say, it's not the worldbuilding. I wouldn't have done it how you did (why not go all the way and just set up HQ outside?), but that's fine, different people write different things, and I can understand your desire to keep things in a building. But the feel of the story... wasn't 'move quietly and plant things'. It was 'the PPC'.
-You have (star, even) an Internal Affairs department in a supposedly laid-back setting. They act (per the Tiger Lily) just like a police force. Where's the calm, soothing aspect of that?
-People go flamethrower-crazy often enough that the term exists. Why? This is the calm, gentle PPC; why is there still enough stress to make people snap?
-You still have a DoDAEG in a solarpunk setting. Why not take the opportunity to invent something new? (Random notion: they don't like doing it, but in the event of severe solar/water outages, the energy folks have emergency biomass generators. When the suns get dim, people have to start donating fruit as fuel...)
-You still kill Suvians (even if you do grow blue-green algae off their bodies). I can't think of a less blunt way to say this: what's the point of being calm and soothing if you're keeping the violent murder part of the setting the same? ;P
I liked the worldbuilding. I liked the writing. I just feel like this is a halfway-story, not a full-fledged AU.
hS
What I wanted to do was make a solarpunk version of the PPC, rather than a radically different AU; I'm not massively experienced at writing solarpunk stories, either, which didn't help. When I started to think about how to write it, I decided to err on the side of familiarity, retaining as many attributes of PPC-Prime as I thought relevant. For instance, if I went fully harmonious, pretty much everyone would be in FicPsych - treating Sues much as OFUs treat fangirls, but without the Learning Through Pain and instead with counselling and getting to the root of their doubtless many issues - and DIA's primary job would be to ward the inmates and make sure any escape attempts are dealt with compassionately.
One thing I will say is that solarpunk doesn't just mean solar power - it means all forms of renewable and non-damaging energy production, and authors spinning in their graves is exactly the kind of thing a solarpunk future would harness. However, it is in conjunction with the photovoltaic stained-glass windows mentioned right at the beginning of the story.
If I set it somewhere else, I sort of know how I'd set it up, since we have access to the fauna of innumerable worlds. The Incomparable Gardens, from the criminally underrated Keys To The Kingdom series by Garth Nix, have four enormous plants called Drasil trees supporting the whole edifice. A similar setup could would very well, with the canopy of the trees supporting ecodwellings in the style of the Mapungubwe Interpretation Centre:-
And probably made out of mycelium bricks, a lathese guys.
Yes, there's a lot of things I should have done - keep the plot point about Agent Bigmouth needing some friends and have the DIA try and help her with that, that sort of thing - and lots of things I will do later. I was overcautious in my world creation, and will endeavour to correct it. =]
a) The PPC is More Than Just Killing Sues. C'mon, you know this one.
b) And... that would be a bad thing?
That sounds like a fantastic AU.
~
Agent Tallulah Wilding stepped under the arched entryway of the Soothing Garden and took a deep breath. The grounds around her hummed with life, flowers and insects and deep-rooted trees all working in harmony. Over their scents were layered the gentle odours of agents' alert systems: strawberry for Mike Lanilor, asphalt for Tr'keen (always slightly strange), and just a hint of wet dog to say that Jemma O'Steve had been here in the last half hour.
Tallulah followed the earth path along the fringe of the garden to the acceptance centre. Under the leafy canopy, the Kudzu's main node was a vibrant cluster of purple flowers.
Ah, Tallulah, the Flower said, nodding a blossom in her direction. Lovely to see you.
"It's lovely to be here." Tallulah smiled at the Garden's coordinator. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
I think there is, in fact. The Kuzdu flicked a leaf against the flatscreen embedded in a pillar beside her. Yvaine of Kent, from the DMS - you know her?
"I don't think I've had the pleasure," Tallulah admitted.
Well, now you may. She's found a Suvian who needs our help; could you help her to bring her in?
"Surely." Tallulah drew the smoothly curving shape of her Remote Activator from her belt, feeling the wood warm under her fingers. "Might I have the continuum code?"
I have it here somewhere. The Kuzdu's mass shuffled, and a tendril produced a small box. Here you go, my dear.
"Thank you." Tallulah took the box and opened it. The first sensory module was a rough surface, perhaps a shell. The second was painted a deep red. The third exuded a waft of chamomile. The fourth chimed out a soft note - C#, if she was any judge.
"Seashell. Red. Chamomile. C#." Tallulah murmured. "Seashell, red, chamomile, C#."
I think the Herbarium is free right now, the Kudzu said. You should be able to settle your charge in there.
Tallulah nodded, still focussing on the psychic key. "Seashell, red-"
The RA locked in the coordinates. A swirling blue portal opened in front of Tallulah. She smiled. Time to go to work.
~
You've got the possibility of multiple FicPsych gardens, the question of how the other departments fit into the system, you've still got your grow-your-own feel... I think that would be great fun to read about!
hS
I wasn't trying to be snide: I love this AU. And I really love the ultrapacifist take on it here. Yes, it's more than just killing Sues, but see previous remarks about not distancing it too much from PPC Prime and my regret at doing so.
With this, I think we've got a great setup for the Paradisal Plot Continuum here, for lack of a better term. There is still conflict, it's just solved by talking to Sues and each other rather than force of arms... except when not. What, for example, is Ispace like in this 'verse? Can the solarpunks find their common ground, outheal their DPS, and enter into a constructive dialogue with them? We can but wonder.
Of all the Action Departments, the least different to my mind is the Jardin d'Amour, the solarpunk AU's Department of Bad Slash. Yes, they are all gardens, I love that idea and am nicking it wholesale. The DMS would be... hm. The Gravel Garden, perhaps, with its many rockeries of photovoltaic collection beads, tiny versions of the World One RawLemon design. FicPsych and Medical might be combined under the Apothecary Gardens, and DoSAT would be the Greenhouse. Solarpunk technology is supposed to be non-intrusive, user-friendly, and beautiful in an understated way; pretty much the opposite of the Prime DoSAT's M.O., but we can work with it. =]
Perhaps people all follow the Prime Department of Angst's operating procedures, only more tailored to the situation. No killing, obviously, but more tranquilisers, mood stabilisers, and similar bio-derived things. Uniforms aren't really a thing, with people making and 3D-printing whatever clothes they feel most comfortable in. It's just... Elysian. Everyone is your friend. You live in a garden with the multiverse at your fingertips and beauty wherever you choose to find it.
I was worried about making it too "nice", in the meek and squishy and saccharine way common to '80s cartoons aimed at little girls. I now fear I didn't make it nice enough. =]
... between 'calm and gentle' and 'sugary'. I can't imagine Tallulah there giggling and hugging people at random, for instance; it would probably disturb her calm. I'm reminded of something I wrote Susan 'the Gentle' Pevensie saying a couple of years back: "Sometimes the firm hand is the kindest."
But I'm going to reiterate what I said earlier: I think you did a really good job on the worldbuilding, and I'm not trying to kick it to bits. Having different ideas from me is absolutely fine, honest. ^_~
hS
I'll be greatly expanding this AU at a later date, when my uni stuff's calmed down a bit. Until then, all the stuff from this thread will be percolating in my brain. =]
I like those buildings.
Also, mycelium is a real thing? Not just a block in Minecraft? No kidding.
The More You Know.
~Neshomeh
Unless you're, say, allergic to pollen.
Also, I'm curious as to how much of the stuff in this setting is based off modern technological innovations.
Crazy stuff happening, and all.
And I didn't see any problems, myself. ^^
Thank you for writing!
I always love seeing AUs of the PPC. In this case, I like seeing this softer, more relaxed take on the PPC. It's a nice change of pace considering that most of the PPC AUs I know of (including the ones I created) tend to run along the lines of "everything is terrible and will probably continue to be so."
There's also some very top-notch world-building, which is another thing I love. Growing chairs with magic and using them for trade, the scent-based console alerts, and the 3D printers are all nice touches. My one complaint regarding that would be the second-to-last paragraph. That last bunch of additional details felt shoehorned in considering that nothing I saw beforehand indicated Lola had any questions about how the universe worked.
To sum up, well done! While this is not something I myself would write a story in, I'm glad it exists.
Trouble is, I have no real idea how to fix that while keeping the same sense of Elysian wonder that I wanted to have in the story. I'll have to think about that in more depth.
The growing chairs thing? That's something that is happening in our world. A bloke called Gavin Munro is growing chairs in the UK, and no, it's not an April Fool's Day story. Check the dates on this 'ere Grauniad article if you don't believe me. =]
However, the best line about the whole thing came from a Daily Mail article, which you'll forgive me for not linking to:-
"[Munro has] already created several prototype pieces and has a field in Derbyshire where he’s currently tending a crop of 400 tables, chairs, and lampshades, which he hopes to harvest next year."
I just wanna say right now that I love love love the smell-alert. It's beautiful, and somebody should make that a thing in the Prime-verse. ^_^ Though I don't know what they would do for, say, the Sunflower Official or the Lichen. They're not particularly smelly.
Anyway, it reminds me of the Brothers, a collective species (I think that was the term, but am not sure) found in Greg Bear's The Anvil of the Stars, who communicate partly by scent. They are pretty much awesome. I'd write a Brother agent if I had actual ideas besides "that would be cool."
Now I shall attempt to finish reading the story before I have to run off to work.
~Neshomeh
Look up "calm computing" when you have a spare minute - it's a really interesting design system, one of the chief tenets of which is to use alerts other than just a variety of mechanical bleeps when something happens. While touch-based feedback is gonna be the main focus in our world, I thought that (with the solarpunk aesthetic and a bumped-up basic tech level) a scent-based alert setup would work very well in the setting.
I've never read anything by Greg Bear, and will endeavour to correct this. Thanks for the tip, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story! =]