Woah. by
Ivy-M-Blue
on 2016-03-18 21:48:00 UTC
Reply
I'm trying to be coherent, which is really hard because Iximaz is so good at this stuff but I finally got around to reading this and was (as always) blown away. I'm really excited to see what will come next, especially because I may or may not become quickly infatuated with Charlotte and will squeal in the privacy of my own home.
Interesting by
Bramandin
on 2016-03-18 17:15:00 UTC
Reply
Thanks for the recruitment story, I'll study it more later.
Noice. by
Larfen J. Stocke, esq
on 2016-03-18 09:07:00 UTC
Reply
Charlotte seems bloody chill.
Only somebody ice-cold could watch somebody appear out of nowhere and respond with a request for 'no spider jokes.'
Good on her.
I wonder, are there different subtypes of angst, or is this angst and everything else is just... stuff that's similar?
To address the Elephant in the room by
Mattman The Comet
on 2016-03-17 22:41:00 UTC
Reply
So Ix is basically another First Rina?
(I mean the two are practically identical, bar hairstyle, clothing, and scars.)
Also I look forward to reading more on these two's adventures
Some good potential here. by
PoorCynic
on 2016-03-17 20:45:00 UTC
Reply
There's a lot of stuff here to like. For examples, the beginnings of a rapport between Ix and Charlotte. I already feel like they will bounce off each other very well. I also dug the idea of showing someone from a different canon their actual source material (although I sorta questioned Ix taking the revelation so well. Then again, lighter and softer, I get it.)
The only other nitpick I would offer is that I would have liked to see them in a different department. I feel like we get a lot of Floaters and a lot of DMS-Freelance agents. It's not a deal-killer by any stretch, but I will confess to a bit of disappointment.
All in all, very promising. I look forward to seeing what you do with them.
Good start! by
Neshomeh
on 2016-03-17 18:53:00 UTC
Reply
I originally just meant to look in to see what angst everyone was talking about, but I ended up sticking around for the whole thing, so good job! I like Charlotte, and I was absolutely going to say something about her name if she hadn't done it herself. {= )
Ix's name is gonna be a little confusing, since she's not your self-insert, but eh. Maybe she'll switch over to her real name eventually? Except, wait—that wouldn't help, would it? I just got the full extent of that joke. >.>
One typo to point out: you've got "exercises" where you mean "exorcises." Though making slashed characters exercise instead of implausibly get it on might work, too?
~Neshomeh
Finished to read it. by
Hardric
on 2016-03-17 18:07:00 UTC
Reply
So, lighter and softer begins with a bit of angst? In the same time, it wouldn't be you if these characters didn't have some problems in their past.
Waiting to see how they'll fare in mission and PPC.
I'm going on a whim and say that by
Matt Cipher
on 2016-03-17 17:55:00 UTC
Reply
Charlotte is a recruited Sue? Guessing by her eyes, but those might as well be contacts.
I'm interested! by
Tigeress
on 2016-03-17 17:23:00 UTC
Reply
A vampire and a werewolf - sounds like the start of a bad joke to me. :P
(I'm still laughing over 'Charlotte Webb' - poor girl, how'd that get into a vampire fanfic?)
Only you... by
Huinesoron
on 2016-03-17 17:22:00 UTC
Reply
... would start 'Lighter and Softer' with a page of angst about losing a job. :P
I did enjoy this, actually. Though I ended up with two thoughts stuck in my head:
-Ix should totally pay a visit to the mini-wolves in the Courtyard, and, conversely
-Lottie should stay away from Selene at all costs.
(Come to think of it, roman has a trio of mini-Sparklewolves in the pack... that's a meeting that could be incredibly entertaining. ^_^)
hS