Has someone already poked you? I see they have. Good; all newbies should be poked.

Since that's been done, I'll just leave you your Official Unauthorised PPC Bumper Sticker:



... and wish you a very enjoyable stay here.

hS

I like the Khajiits for Elder Scrolls. As for Redwall, foxes are my favorite vermin, and badgers are my favorite goodbeast.

'Bows politely' I'm not really a member of the PPC 'yet' But I think it would be nice of me to give you a present. Here are some Reese's Pieces and a Auto Shotgun with unlimited ammo. Just in case you have zombie troubles, or Sue troubles, or maybe even 'gasp' Zombie Sue troubles.

Well I guess take care and enjoy yourself, I certainly am.

Although I'm not sure we can talk about newbie with someone who lured so long on this Board. Anyway, have some black-hole chocolates.

So you finally decided to come out of the shadows and join us. You probably know almost everyone here better than me, so it's a little strange to welcome someone who's been here for so long. As a reward for joining us have a sonic wrench!

I feel weird about welcoming you, since you've technically been here for way longer than I have and you most likely know everyone here much better than I do. But anyway, have a fake dolphin! I look forward to seeing you around.

Have a shovel that digs up lost Let's Play videos!

Speaking of, you're worried about Texas infecting your accent? From one YouTuber I've seen, RoahmMythril, you're more like to get a blend. He was raised in Texas... by Scottish elders.

Please accept this starter Pokémon:-

Iiiiiit's Mienshao!

And your starting item is:-

Glass Cannon from The Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth

Glass Cannon is an amazing held item - the 2x damage multiplier you get from it is the biggest in the game - but there are drawbacks. It halves the holder's Defence and Special Defence stats, which means that you have a hard time staying in. On the other hand, Mienshao's defences are pretty ropey anyway, so it's not that big of a deal. You'll want to go all in on the damage build, with Reckless as your ability, but I'd recommend a Jolly nature to maximize your speed since you will not be taking hits. From there, you want High Jump Kick, U-Turn, Knock Off, and Stone Edge, with EVs in Attack and Speed. Finally, just remember to have fun. =]

Welcome! Make yourself comfortable and have a slice of Infinite Pizza!



Also, because I have to:

Have one of my own shed feathers, along with a working replica of the Golden Snitch and a copy of the One Ring that totally doesn't make you invisible!

Hello! Have a plate of choice cheeses! There's Brie, Sharp Cheddar and a bit of Swiss and Blue. Oh yes, and here's some crackers too. Irrelevant is very sorry if you hate cheese or are lactose intolerant.

Have a Salad V noggle.

I shall subvert my usual gift today, since I'm giving a A replica of the Corrupt!Shadowreaper of Doom. Note: I am not responsible for any unhallowed whispers, influences of the mind, and the urge to shout DOOOM whenever a Friday the 13th comes around.
2nd Note: This plays a part in how I make my scones.

Welcome to the board, and all that stuff.
I would be more than fearful towards Texanism if I were you, by the way, because the only way I can read 'high time' is with the voice that is essentially cowboy blackface.
It's already infected your idioms. I think it might be too late.

My gift upon you is: the theoretical concept of cancer rates in Uganda.
I'm sure you can use it better than I can.
Pardner.

Since you covered my usual questions, just have this plate of welcome SPaGhetti!

*high fives* Welcome aBoard, fellow Potterhead and Whovian!