Hello newbie.

Subject: Hello newbie.
Author: Hardric
Posted on: 2016-02-21 08:00:00 UTC

Have this pot of black-hole coffee, pleaase. Now, every question was asked, so I'll wish you the best in this madhouse.

Jump to this post's position in the thread ↴

Newbie says hi by Cat-on-the-Keyboard on 2016-02-21 04:43:00 UTC Reply

Hello!

I recently discovered the PPC (I'm not sure how; I think TV Tropes was involved), and I couldn't help but notice that you actually adhere to your Constitution. I would very much like to get to know such unusual people.

You can call me Key -- unless someone thinks of something better; my naming skills currently leave a lot to be desired. I'm a girl, probably. I'm 15 years old and live in the Pacific Time Zone (it's about 8:15 PM right now). A few of my main fandoms are Shakespeare, Carry On by Rainbow Rowell, Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke, and, to a lesser extent, Hetalia. I've read everything the wiki recommended me to: the original series, and most of the FAQs (haven't gotten to the slash guide yet, but I figured it wasn't urgent). Please ask me questions if I've missed any important introductory information.

Halloa! by JulyFlame on 2016-02-22 17:00:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the PPC! (Sorry for the delay on getting to you, been a mite busy.)

Key is a fantastic name, so don't worry about your naming skills.

Excellent job on reading TOS, and even the FAQs!

Stick around, participate about the board, and feel free to ask questions if you've got any- my email's clickable out of my name. It might take me some time to reply to that one, because I'm currently out to sea, but go for it if you want to ask anything or just to chat. (This also goes to everyone else, for that matter.)

And as far as gifts go, once a long time ago I used to give bitemarks out, but people objected to being bitten, and after that, it was links to the wiki and such, but you covered that yourself.

So instead, this time you get a currently regionally appropriate camel!

-July

Nice to meet you! by Cat-on-the-Keyboard on 2016-02-23 06:09:00 UTC Reply

I can't wait to get to know you! I don't particularly object to being bitten (I have a sister, so I got used to it long ago), but a camel is better. I think I'll name it Wendy (with my theoretically competent naming skills)(Up until I found the PPC Wiki entry for Cat-on-the-Keyboard names, I thought that mashing the keyboard until I got something I liked was the only way to name characters, hence my hesitance).

I actually do have a question: when Agents take Bleeprin and derived products, do they actually forget potentially scarring aspects of badfic, or does it just dull the pain? Do different Bleeprin derivatives behave differently as regards this? Do different authors write it differently?

Well. by JulyFlame on 2016-02-23 10:57:00 UTC Reply

Camels bite. And also spit. Unfortunately.

(It's not necessasrily a bad way to get names.)

Ooh, that is a good question. There's a lot of leeway that can be taken in plenty of elements the PPC uses; I can't remember off the top of my head, which implies to me that it could be taken either way by the writer. I've personally gone with the second.

Different bleep-derivatives all work the same way, generally, unless they're something extreme. What changes is method of consumption.

And yes, different authors write things differently; the main thing all spin-offs have to adhere to is TOS. After that, plenty of things can vary. My view of the PPC (and thus how I write it) doesn't line up entirely with, say, Neshomeh's or hS's or Scapegrace's, even though we can all draw connections between our works in some way or another.

. . . Good point by Cat-on-the-Keyboard on 2016-02-26 06:35:00 UTC Reply

Well, I have people I want bitten and spat upon. . . maybe I can just turn the camel -- nope, doesn't work. Ow.

Thanks for clearing that up (or revealing its true, beautifully muddy state). I can see why people would go with the second; the agents take so much Bleeprin that it would be hard to keep track of which past events they actually remember. Plus, memory-wiping can be ethically sketchy. . . there's a lot of potential for abuse. It gives agents the ability to do horrible things to each other, provided they can figure out a way to get into the victim's food to spike it with a bleep-derivative. Under that interpretation, the cafeteria workers would basically be all-powerful. . . and no one would ever know.

It is my opinion... by Desdendelle on 2016-02-26 12:22:00 UTC Reply

That if the PPC wasn't a comedic setting, it'd have been at least as grim as Warhammer 40,000, the grandaddy of grimderp everywhere.

To compensate for that: have a fluffy camel.

All these gifts! Eek! by Cat-on-the-Keyboard on 2016-02-22 02:31:00 UTC Reply

*I am buried under a pile of gifts.* Thank you all so much!

It's not mentioned in the wiki; what's the usual thing to do with these gifts? Is the normal thing to not refer to them outside of this thread? Or will people talk about various objects they've obtained (for whatever reason) in roleplay scenarios (such as a Board party)? (I think the wiki mentioned roleplaying on the Board somewhere. . .) Also, if I were to eventually get permission and write an agent who was my avatar, would it make sense/be okay for them to have some of the things I was given (say, the Black Cloak of Swirly Awesomeness)? These gifts got me thinking; I'm tempted to write a story about every single one. Especially the Cloak. (I like cloaks. Writing about them, drawing them, wearing them. . .)

There's no hard rule. by Desdendelle on 2016-02-22 02:46:00 UTC Reply

I remember people writing their newbie gifts into their spinoffs, so that's definitely possible. I don't think it's too common, though — you're not an Agent; you're a Boarder.

As to roleplaying, well. Aside from stuff that happens (or is supposed to happen) with some sort of regularity, like Plort threads or the Agent Mailbox game, RPs pop up every once in a while. Sometime someone wants a wider cast in an interlude, somtimes it's just for fun. Unless otherwise noted, you don't need Permission to participate in an RP, and in fact it's a good way to get a grasp on a character.

Okay, got it by Cat-on-the-Keyboard on 2016-02-22 05:56:00 UTC Reply

I'll keep that in mind. . . oh, look, I just wasted two hours reading about Plort. Thanks for the link.

Welcome to the PPC, fellow life form. (nm) by Dark Brother 16 on 2016-02-22 00:34:00 UTC Reply
Hi there! Have a Black Cloak of Swirly Awesomeness! by Silenthunder on 2016-02-21 23:06:00 UTC Reply

So you'll always look cool without trying! ;)
Hey there, newbie! by eatpraylove on 2016-02-21 19:31:00 UTC Reply

Here's some popcorn and a box of pencils! I'm sure they'll both come in handy someday.
Welcome! by DCCCV on 2016-02-21 17:45:00 UTC Reply

Have some strawberry scones! No, I don't make them myself. It's better if you don't try to find out.
Welcome to Creation, here's your shovel. by Voyd on 2016-02-21 14:54:00 UTC Reply

This magical shovel digs up...

Oh. Er. This one digs up flames.
Another who fears the pineapple! by Scapegrace on 2016-02-21 12:59:00 UTC Reply

~~ALL FEAR THE PINEAPPLE~~

Anyway, please accept this starter Pokémon:-

Iiiiiiit's Oddish!

And your starting item is:-

Iron Ratchet Crossbow from Dungeons of Dredmor!

Crossbows are excellent items for mons like Oddish: they increase the damage of non-contact moves by up to 50% (the Iron Ratchet Crossbow, alas, is a meagre 30%). On one of the best Chlorophyll sweepers in Little Cup? It's a godsend. Try a Modest one with EVs in Special Attack and Speed using Giga Drain, Sludge Bomb, Hidden Power Fire, and Sleep Powder to make the most of your item. Just make sure to give it Sun support, and to have fun. =]

Thank you. I understood maybe two words of that, but thanks (nm) by Cat-on-the-Keyboard on 2016-02-22 02:08:00 UTC Reply

Overcomplicated gifts are the best kind! =] (nm) by Scapegrace on 2016-02-22 10:52:00 UTC Reply

Hi there! by domirossi on 2016-02-21 12:37:00 UTC Reply

Welcome aBoard! Have this pocket portal to the Plane of Unsalted Shelled Peanuts. You could need it at some point, who knows.

Portal to food by Cat-on-the-Keyboard on 2016-02-21 21:59:00 UTC Reply

That actually strikes me as incredibly useful, but that might just be because I haven't eaten lunch yet. And now I really want to eat some peanuts. They'd go well with Desdendelle's Earl Grey tea (I mean this sincerely. That actually sounds really good. . .).

Bye for now. *portals*

Hello, fellow JS&MN fan! by Desdendelle on 2016-02-21 10:52:00 UTC Reply

Here, have this cup of tea. It's just plain old Earl Grey. No predatory tea, no confused smoky tea, no rodents in the teacup. Just tea.
Hello newbie. by Hardric on 2016-02-21 08:00:00 UTC Reply

Have this pot of black-hole coffee, pleaase. Now, every question was asked, so I'll wish you the best in this madhouse.

Black-hole coffee! by Cat-on-the-Keyboard on 2016-02-21 21:50:00 UTC Reply

Thank you for your well-wishes, and for providing me with an extremely dangerous substance! I will put it to good use! *I set it down carefully and knock the handle of the pot with my elbow. It spills on my desk and swallows the Valentine's Day card my math teacher gave me, as well as half a chair. I rub my elbow, which nearly crossed the coffee's event horizon.* Does anyone know a cure for spaghettified and redshifted flesh?

Thank you! All of you! At once! (An Attempt) by Cat-on-the-Keyboard on 2016-02-21 06:05:00 UTC Reply

*pokes Iximaz back*

*feeds Iximaz's SPaGhetti to SkarmorySilver's Italy mochi, as instructed*

Thank you to both of you! I'm fond of the mochis, since they're the only characters I can draw. And the drama is kind of what made me decide to introduce myself -- everything is tense, yes, and zero punches are being pulled, but people are still being polite, constructive, and empathetic. Which is cool. I am excited.

I've read a lot of PPC spinoffs in a short period of time, and I can't remember which author goes with which story goes with which agent. . . . I really liked the one where canon!Spock helped the agents kill his replacement and the Sue. Two of the agents were in a romantic relationship? One of them was ace? One had a name beginning with C? Ugh.

*bandages ears, wincing perhaps slightly more than it actually hurt*
*puts on earmuffs. Winces again from the pressure*
*pulls Larfen J. Stocke, esq. aside, out of earshot of the others*
THANK YOU IN ALL CAPS
*slowly saunters back, badly covering a smug grin by munching on a Schrodinger's cookie, collapsing its wavefunction to "chocolate chip."*

Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell is a really good book (yes, it's only one book. One feels-like-five, don't-drop-it-on-your-toe book. Plus shadowy rumors about a sequel-in-progress). I watched the BBC adaptation, and I thought it did a good job of keeping the spirit of the book, but I'm not as attached to the fandom jokes as a lot of people are. I think it's kind of like The Princess Bride: the screen version is amazing and inspires love everywhere it goes, but the book is STILL so much better because it has a snarky narrator who goes off on tangents which are impossible to include in the screen version. (Here's hoping Netflix's A Series of Unfortunate Events fits this pattern *fingers crossed*.)

Carry On is, in its simplest form, a love letter to Harry Potter fanon. . . but it's so much more than that. For one thing, one of the main characters is basically Edward Cullen rewritten as a sympathetic, well-developed, lovable character. And the World of Mages is comparable to the wizarding world, but it's also comparable to France in the late 18th century, if you take my meaning. Also, the main characters are boys, but the book passes any test of feminism you'd care to give it. And I'm not going to gush about it here. But you really should read it. You all should read it. *smiles sheepishly and backs away, almost tripping over what I could've sworn was a kitten. I turn around and am convinced that I scoop it up and pet it.*

i promise to never use uppercase again. (nm) by larfen j. stocke, esq on 2016-02-21 07:11:00 UTC Reply

Your promise is noted and recorded (nm) (nm) by Cat-on-the-Keyboard on 2016-02-21 07:19:00 UTC Reply

Heya! by TheShyIon on 2016-02-21 05:25:00 UTC Reply

Have an illusionary kitten! :D
Welcome! by firemagic on 2016-02-21 05:22:00 UTC Reply

Have some Schrodinger's Cookies - may or may not contain chocolate chips!

Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell? I've heard that was a good book series. How do you think the adaptation is doing? I heard a lot of people were disappointed because of pineapples and their not appearing in the show.

Also, isn't Carry On that book which is basically a massive love letter to Harry Potter fanon? I've been meaning to check it out, it sounds really cool.
WELCOME IN ALL CAPS by Larfen J. Stocke, esq on 2016-02-21 05:09:00 UTC Reply

Oh, God, I'm so sorry. That was a bad idea.
I hope you stuffed red cordial up your ears last night, or something like that.
Have earmuffs. My gift is earmuffs. And bandages.
Er. Asprin.

Welcome.
In lower-case.
Welcome aBoard! by SkarmorySilver on 2016-02-21 04:54:00 UTC Reply

Ooooh, and did someone say Hetalia? Here, aside from one of my own shed feathers, have an Italy mochi! Don't forget to feed it SPaGhetti daily~ :D
Newbie! *glomp* *poke* by Iximaz on 2016-02-21 04:53:00 UTC Reply

Heya, and welcome aBoard! Take this plate of fresh SPaGhetti as a gift.

I just want to say that the drama going on down the Board isn't a normal thing here, so please don't let that scare you off.

Hmm, questions, questions. I think you already covered everything I ask, so I'll just ask if you've read any PPC spinoffs.