Subject: Black-hole coffee!
Author:
Posted on: 2016-02-21 21:50:00 UTC

Thank you for your well-wishes, and for providing me with an extremely dangerous substance! I will put it to good use! *I set it down carefully and knock the handle of the pot with my elbow. It spills on my desk and swallows the Valentine's Day card my math teacher gave me, as well as half a chair. I rub my elbow, which nearly crossed the coffee's event horizon.* Does anyone know a cure for spaghettified and redshifted flesh?

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