Well,

Hello by Bramandin on 2016-02-04 01:40:00 UTC Reply

I am not very good at introductions. I found out about both the PPC and Fanfiction because of TV tropes. I have lurked on the Wiki for a while. I was developing a character to help explore different themes and mistakes in all writing when I discovered that she was a PPC agent. I am introducing myself in hopes that I can eventually write her down. Plus I read that at some point, authors need to actually interact with other authors about writing to improve.

Hello, fellow newbie by Lee_B on 2016-02-06 18:52:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the PPC! I'm new as well, so maybe we can help each other out with this interacting with authors thing. I wish you luck!
Welcome to Creation, here's your shovel. by Voyd on 2016-02-05 14:17:00 UTC Reply

Have a shovel that digs up...um...eggs.

Big eggs that are basketball-sized...

Hope you don't mind being a harpy's mom/dad! *runs away*
Welcome aBoard! by SkarmorySilver on 2016-02-05 02:40:00 UTC Reply

Have one of my own shed feathers and a complimentary kit of Spikes!
Welcome aBoard! :D by James Shields on 2016-02-04 19:27:00 UTC Reply

Please have this BAg of Holding so that you can store the truckload of welcoming you're getting and also have a Rorschach Book, which can change into virtually any written text in existence in the multiverse. Just close your eyes while holding it, think about what you wanna read and then blink three times.

I was quite a bit of a lurker myself. Hope you enjoy your time with us now that you're here! :D
Welcome to the madhouse! by eatpraylove on 2016-02-04 19:13:00 UTC Reply

(I mean that in the best possible way.) Have some sticky notes and a red pen!
Fee-fi-fo-fum! I smell... a newbie! by Matt Cipher on 2016-02-04 09:12:00 UTC Reply

Welcome! Welcome! Here, have a slice of Infinite Pizza!
Hello newbie. by Hardric on 2016-02-04 07:13:00 UTC Reply

Have my greetings and some black-hole chocolates. All of the important questions were asked, so only thing left is wishing you the best here.
'Ullo by Larfen J. Stocke, esq on 2016-02-04 06:10:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the corner of the internet that is disc.yourwebapps.com, also known as the PPC board.
My gift to you is: the first thing on top of my head. Yes, that. Take that.

Good luck with writing your character down. And with interacting with other authors. And improving.
Actually, ignore what I said. Good luck. Full-stop.
Greetings, fellow life form! (nm) by Dark Brother 16 on 2016-02-04 03:14:00 UTC Reply
Hi there! Have a Black Cloak of Swirly Awesomeness! by Silenthunder on 2016-02-04 01:50:00 UTC Reply

For the cool factor! What are your favorite continuums? Have you read the Original Series and the Constitution?
Hullo, newbie. by Desdendelle on 2016-02-04 01:50:00 UTC Reply

Welcome, welcome, and let's hope you beat the statistics!
As a newbie gift, I give you this cup of Earl Grey tea. No, it's not gonna try to eat you, why are you asking me. It's completely safe.

Oh, also. What is your preferred pronoun?

(PS: The Cute Little Rodent Union wishes to inform you that its members are currently on leave and therefore won't be appearing as newbie gifts for a while.)

Re: Hullo, newbie. by Bramandin on 2016-02-04 02:50:00 UTC Reply

I did read about carnivorous tea, I do not remember which agent favored it.

[Insert snappy remark about pronoun trouble.] He is fine. She, it, or they is also acceptable.

I admit ignorance about the Cute Little Rodent Union.

There are no coincidences. by Desdendelle on 2016-02-04 04:14:00 UTC Reply

*cough* *cough*
May I offer you a cough drop, Dolores?

Isn't the average joining age 16, or so? by Larfen J. Stocke, esq on 2016-02-04 06:13:00 UTC Reply

At least where I am, that's year 10 to 11.
I've only just started year 11, and I'm starting to see how it can cut into spare time, so, ehm, yeah.

Oh? by Desdendelle on 2016-02-04 12:48:00 UTC Reply

Well, for the averages you'll probably have to aggregate data from hS' graphs and July's censuses, but I know that I joined in 2011; I was 17 and in 11th grade. However, the thing that really cut into my free time wasn't school; it was the army, starting late 2012.

Both?! by Larfen J. Stocke. esq on 2016-02-05 05:29:00 UTC Reply

I can imagine that taking up lots of time.
It would be hard doing your biology homework in a mud-filled trench with the constant BOOM-ing of artillery fire all over the place. You'd have to prop your book up on the back of the corpse of one of your dead friends, or something.
I, very clearly, know nothing about how the army works, but that doesn't mean I respect you less.

Also, I think I might have found the averages from one of the censuses. 2014, or something.

"Both"...? by Desdendelle on 2016-02-05 08:35:00 UTC Reply

I've no idea what you mean by "both".
That said, most people in the army aren't in the front line and even if you are in the front line you don't necessarily fight. I, myself, was a paper-pusher in the C4I, nothing more, and sat close enough to home.

Well, by Larfen J. Stocke, esq on 2016-02-05 11:19:00 UTC Reply

I sort of got the impression you did both. I think it was because you specifically mentioned 'wasn't school.'
I mean, I knew that it wasn't a thing that was possible (or, at least, a thing you shouldn't do,) but, hey.
Weirder things have happened than half school student-half soldiers.

I had a friend who wants to join the army, actually. As an engineer, or something like that.
From what I understand, you can get pretty much any job out there, but with a patriotic army theme.
I even remember ads for painters. They were hiring people to paint the planes. Nothing else.
Just... paint the planes.

Well... by Desdendelle on 2016-02-05 12:19:00 UTC Reply

Going to the army while you're still in school is morally iffy. Here, read up.

You have expanded my knowledge. by Larfen J. Stocke, esq on 2016-02-06 02:04:00 UTC Reply

I am now certain that I know more about Israeli military than Australian military.

I can't, of course, judge any of these laws and whatnot, having spent my entire life sheltered in a metaphorical pillow fort, and the pillows are stuffed with money and melted chocolate, but, still, that 'First Calling' letter must be bloody terrifying.

Not really... by Desdendelle on 2016-02-06 04:27:00 UTC Reply

Since (unless you're an Arab or a Haredi) you know you're going to get one. First day of Basic is kinda scary, though. You've no idea where you're going, and stuff.

You're a braver person than I, then. (nm) by Larfen J. Stocke, esq on 2016-02-06 10:17:00 UTC Reply

Newbie! *glomp* *poke* by Iximaz on 2016-02-04 01:47:00 UTC Reply

Hello, and welcome aBoard! For your newbie gift, take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti!

Since you've already read the Wiki, I'll just ask if you've also read the Original Series and the Constitution. Oh, and fandoms! Please do share with us!

Re: Newbie! *glomp* *poke* by Bramandin on 2016-02-04 13:17:00 UTC Reply

I have at least attempted to read the original series. I read the constitution, but it is very long and my ability to remember what I read is about 10% of the details. Is "try not to be a jerk" a good enough substitute for the constitution?

Listing just the recognizable books that I've read feels like bragging. Right now, I'm slowing reading "Return of the Shadow." I love how Tolkien started writing "Lord of the Rings" before he knew what the book was about because I do something similar.

My most-watched DVDs right now are probably Dollhouse, Pleasantville, and Rock of Ages.