... because I got to read the edited version.
Then I’m even later, because you made me reading the badfic (that’s potentially a bad thing) in an attempt to understand what’s going on.
So, I liked Kala and Valon’s interactions, the switching that made the obvious replacement actually Harry’s uncanonical twin, and the Mythbuster testing. But the mission didn’t really work for me, because some parts seem rushed and not well thought trough.
Technical errors first:
His eyes went wide, before he frantically covered covered his ears.
Repetition.
Where did this mini-Stu come from? Throughout the badfic, Harry’s twin is consistently called Micheal, so this is just an unusual name, not a misspelling of what you may have expected to be the Stu’s name. Actually, you are misspelling the Stu’s name throughout the mission.
Kala had decided that it was past time to stop asking where he got things.
So there was no sense in stopping now, but then she didn’t ask? (Double negation.)
Overthinking things:
What happened to the entity pretending to be God?
"God" promptly vanishing at the end of the first chapter, leaving only "Lucifer" and "Reaper" to be neuralyzed is a bit too convenient for my taste. I don’t see anything in the badfic that justifies this event. (If it was just because his role in the story was finished, why didn’t "Lucifer" and "Reaper" vanish too?)
Actually, it is quite inconvenient. This is not the biblical God (His existence in the Potterverse despite never being mentioned in canon is at least debatable), nor a god specific to the Potterverse. How can canon reassert itself unless this uncanonical entity is thoroughly removed? And your agents just allowed it to escape. It certainly didn’t remove itself when it "vanished", it just went elsewhere.
Potential solution: Since this isn’t a god from any recognizable canon, it doesn’t get omnipotence per its canon of origin’s definition; incidentally being called "God" doesn’t make you invulnerable, and the badfic never implied that this entity is invincible. Actually, it appears to be quite weak, depending on its siblings. (They brought the Stu to "Heaven" and did most of the talking, implying that they would and could do what they talked about intending to do. All "God" did was making the Stu remember the flashback and all it talked about was its plan of passively letting the Stu kill people.) Why not just shoot it and then neuralyze the others and send them home?
What happened to Harry?
Since Springtrap was actually Micheal, the brat he met at Gringott’s was actually Harry. So, Harry is a spoiled brat who grew up with his parents, who should be dead. Shouldn’t something be done about this? Was this all covered by neuralyzing other canons and putting Lily and James back in their graves?
Why was tying up Springtrap so easy? And blowing him up, too?
He got super strength (the strength of ten man), and agility and speed (faster than the fastest human), and he can cause powerful hallucinations to scare humans off. Now, Kala isn’t human, and I don’t remember exactly how strong and fast she is, so I can’t say that it is impossible.
He also was able "to interfere with the workings of technology", apparently in a non-physical way. Why didn’t he simply disarm this Big Red Button? Well, he was six years old when he was killed, and had only one month after waking up. How much could he possibly have learned about technology and the best way of interfering with a remote control that will trigger an explosion when the button is pressed? Again I can’t say that blowing him up is impossible, but I would have liked to see this addressed in the mission.
And although I said that I liked the Mythbuster testing, I would have appreciated if Kala and Valon, after tying the Stu up, had tested whether it’s possible to cut and smash him with hand-held sharp respective blunt objects. Sure, he had asked for immunity to blunt and sharp objects, but then "God" forgot to tell the Stu about the abilities he got without asking, and Plushtrap had to do all this exposition about his and Springtrap’s joined and unique abilities, and when it came to physical impact after all the overpowered magical and elemental stuff, all we heard was "we cannot be harmed by projectiles". There is no implication that this list isn’t conclusive, so "God" or its siblings apparently forgot to give the Stu what he had asked for.
Yeah, exploiting a badfic’s weaknesses is far too much fun. Why did you make me read this thing and spend a whole afternoon on this?
HG