The only things we judge here are badfic, old spot. You're quite safe. =]

Anyway, here's your (shamefully late, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa) starter Pokémon:-

Iiiiiiiiiit's Seadra!

And your starting item is:-

Placebo from The Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth!

Placebo's a pretty excellent item, being effectively the ability Harvest in a can. You put two Berries in (Berry Juice doesn't work, alas) and give it to your 'mon, and when it drops down to the relevant level of health, one gets consumed. Each time you consume one, there's a 50% chance it gets replicated, though without the 100% chance in sunlight, alas. It's an interesting item and useful on sweepers, so try putting two Chesto Berries in it and give it Surf, Ice Beam, Dragon Pulse, and Rest. You should be extremely survivable, if you invest your EVs in HP, Special Attack, and Speed, but it takes a lot to beat out Eviolite on a not-fully-evolved 'mon like Seadra. Does it? Try it and find out! =]

I'm curious, are you also a lawyer IRL, or did you just like the look of an Esq. suffix in your username?

Since you already have a Bag of Holding, have a Hoothoot. A perfect companion for when you're burning the midnight oil.

And welcome to the Board. We hope you'll have fun and learn a lot alongside us.

I'm new here also, so I guess have a pen! It's mightier than a sword! I don't think anyone's going to judge you here, we all came for different reasons.

I see you have an esquire suffix to your username... Say, how familiar are you with the Plot thing we do here every once in a while? I have a feeling your name would fit right in. ;)

In the meantime, have one of my own shed feathers and a complimentary kit of Spikes!

I see you have an esquire suffix to your username... Say, how familiar are you with the Plot thing we do here every once in a while? I have a feeling your name would fit right in. ;)

In the meantime, have one of my own shed feathers and a complimentary kit of Spikes!

Welcome to the PPC! Have an urple ocarina (with some wilver earmuffs to block out the noise). I hope you like it here; 'tis a fun little corner of the internet.

Ah, Lovecraft! I've only recently read The Call of Cthulhu-- any advice on what of his to read next?

-Alleb

Don't worry. Plenty of us were lurkers before we joined, myself included.
I think it took me a few months between finding the TOS, the Wiki and reading a few spin-offs before actually joining the community. People around here are very friendly, welcoming and understanding, so you shouldn't worry too much. Plus, we do like people that do the proper research before joining. :D

Please have a Bag of Holding so that you can store the truckload of gifts you're getting. Also a Rorschach Book, which can change into virtually any written text in existence. Just close your eyes, think about what you're wanna read and then blink three times.

Don't worry, we're all more or less normal here. Here's some Scotch tape and four bottles of Bleeprin! Trust me, you'll need both :)

Welcome! Here, have a slice of Infinite Pizza! :D

Heya and welcome aBoard! Since you've already read the stuff I normally link, I'll just give you this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti! Hope you like it here!

Since you've read the stuff, the only question I have to ask is your preferred pronoun. Other than that, here have this cup of — no, get out of there, you silly peegs, those are teacups, not playhouses.

Have a bag of black-hole chocolate. Seems you got the basics covered, and even more. Wecome to the crazyhouse. Hope you'll find fun here.