Subject: Hullo, newbie.
Author:
Posted on: 2016-01-06 10:10:00 UTC
Since you've read the stuff, the only question I have to ask is your preferred pronoun. Other than that, here have this cup of — no, get out of there, you silly peegs, those are teacups, not playhouses.
'ullo, folks. I'm Larfen J. Stocke, esq, as some of you more observant (or, perhaps, telepathically gifted) fellows might have figured.
I've spent quite some time knocking around the PPC wiki, reading stories and laughing at them and whatnot, though I haven't officially joined the board until now, out of a mixture of cowardice and apathy, which I now realise don't exactly paint my character in a good, or even half-decent light. I can hope for comically pitiful, at best. I have been rather lacking in conversations with people who enjoy writing as of late (talking to myself in the mirror just isn't fun anymore,) and I'm at the point where you've all gained semi-deific status to me, and I hope my offerings will prove suitable.
I still have the nightmares.
I've had the FAQ:For Newbies on my laptop screen for the last hour or so, as it gives me comfort, and I hope you, too, feel comfort, knowing that I have read the PPC Constitution, most of the Original Series, and/or the variety of other helpful materials you have prepared for me.
I enjoy anything by Terry Pratchett, especially Good Omens, the book that inspired me to get off my lazy arse and turn 'considering getting into writing' into 'failing horribly at writing', and I'd like to say that I'm a big fan of Discworld, but that might not be fair, because I've only entirely read one book so far, and seen one animated adaptation where they gave Nobby a backwards baseball cap. What. Consider me a pre-fan, if you must.
I also bloody love H.P. Lovecraft, the casual racism occasionally present in his works heavily appealing to the Australian in me.
The other things I enjoy are probably too obscure, dumb, or limited to count as having fandoms: Lisa the Painful, Jules Verne's stuff, Dwarf Fortress, Deus Ex and Catch-22. I love that book. You don't understand how much I love that bloody book.
I found the PPC through a mixture of Das Sporking, TV Tropes, and my own love of snark.
I feel like this was too long. I have no idea what is happening. Please don't judge me. Or, at least, do it really quietly. Unless you've got soundproof walling. Judge as loudly as you want, then, I suppose.
pleasedontjudgeme
The only things we judge here are badfic, old spot. You're quite safe. =]
Anyway, here's your (shamefully late, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa) starter Pokémon:-
Iiiiiiiiiit's Seadra!
And your starting item is:-
Placebo from The Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth!
Placebo's a pretty excellent item, being effectively the ability Harvest in a can. You put two Berries in (Berry Juice doesn't work, alas) and give it to your 'mon, and when it drops down to the relevant level of health, one gets consumed. Each time you consume one, there's a 50% chance it gets replicated, though without the 100% chance in sunlight, alas. It's an interesting item and useful on sweepers, so try putting two Chesto Berries in it and give it Surf, Ice Beam, Dragon Pulse, and Rest. You should be extremely survivable, if you invest your EVs in HP, Special Attack, and Speed, but it takes a lot to beat out Eviolite on a not-fully-evolved 'mon like Seadra. Does it? Try it and find out! =]
I'm curious, are you also a lawyer IRL, or did you just like the look of an Esq. suffix in your username?
Since you already have a Bag of Holding, have a Hoothoot. A perfect companion for when you're burning the midnight oil.
And welcome to the Board. We hope you'll have fun and learn a lot alongside us.
I'm new here also, so I guess have a pen! It's mightier than a sword! I don't think anyone's going to judge you here, we all came for different reasons.
I see you have an esquire suffix to your username... Say, how familiar are you with the Plot thing we do here every once in a while? I have a feeling your name would fit right in. ;)
In the meantime, have one of my own shed feathers and a complimentary kit of Spikes!
I see you have an esquire suffix to your username... Say, how familiar are you with the Plot thing we do here every once in a while? I have a feeling your name would fit right in. ;)
In the meantime, have one of my own shed feathers and a complimentary kit of Spikes!
Plot thing? I tried looking for that on the wiki. Didn't get nuffin.
It's a summer RP where Boarders interested behave like the PPC was a meideval kingdom. This wiki hold all the answers about it.
Oh, right! Thanks for sorting that out. I can't say I've ever RP'd before. I once lagged a whole bunch as a janitor in Space Station 13, but I don't think that counts.
Protectorate of Plort is very dramatic looking, I must say, but the fact that the place is called 'Plort' drags it down a tad.
Welcome to the PPC! Have an urple ocarina (with some wilver earmuffs to block out the noise). I hope you like it here; 'tis a fun little corner of the internet.
Ah, Lovecraft! I've only recently read The Call of Cthulhu-- any advice on what of his to read next?
-Alleb
I fear my sleep schedule has, yet again, prevented another young soul from being introduced to the glorious world of wonders that is H.P. Lovecraft.
My personal favourites are: The Rats in the Walls, the Case of Charles Dexter Ward, and Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath (though, that one is less eldritch-wizardy spookiness and more weird fantasy.) Honestly, though, I haven't found a single story of his I haven't liked. Man's brilliant.
Very clear and descriptive, and also unnerving. I like him. I'll start looking those up; thank you!
-Alleb
Don't worry. Plenty of us were lurkers before we joined, myself included.
I think it took me a few months between finding the TOS, the Wiki and reading a few spin-offs before actually joining the community. People around here are very friendly, welcoming and understanding, so you shouldn't worry too much. Plus, we do like people that do the proper research before joining. :D
Please have a Bag of Holding so that you can store the truckload of gifts you're getting. Also a Rorschach Book, which can change into virtually any written text in existence. Just close your eyes, think about what you're wanna read and then blink three times.
What happens if I want to read the Rorschach Book?
The default form is a book with a blank cover and an indeterminate numbers of blank pages and it will stay that way until you change into another book or similar written test.
That's a bit underwhelming.
Don't worry, we're all more or less normal here. Here's some Scotch tape and four bottles of Bleeprin! Trust me, you'll need both :)
Welcome! Here, have a slice of Infinite Pizza! :D 
Heya and welcome aBoard! Since you've already read the stuff I normally link, I'll just give you this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti! Hope you like it here!
Since you've read the stuff, the only question I have to ask is your preferred pronoun. Other than that, here have this cup of — no, get out of there, you silly peegs, those are teacups, not playhouses.
I'm a man. Manly as a gorilla made of biceps. Wrote this with my bulging neck veins. I grunt angrily at your pictures of small furry creatures in mildly demeaning situations. I have two Y chromosomes, I'm that manly.
Have a bag of black-hole chocolate. Seems you got the basics covered, and even more. Wecome to the crazyhouse. Hope you'll find fun here.
