Subject: Noooooooo.
Author:
Posted on: 2016-01-06 13:40:00 UTC
We need another solution, you guys. This is an unacceptable state of affairs.
I'm writing a letter of complaint to your Officer of Internets. What zip code do I use for open sea addresses?
—doctorlit is :( :( :( :( right now
As you guys might have probably noticed, the Boards have been suffering from on-and-off downtime in the recent couple of days. In the meantime, though, there is the T-Board.
Following discussion in three or four different places (the Board, the Other Board, T-Board, and I think the Wiki too), I'm going to make this official*: the Other Board is hereby retired from active duty. Anything which would previously have been posted on it should go to T-Board instead. If you find any problems with T-Board, let Tomash know, because he's the one maintaining it. (I don't know what the best way to do that would be.)
[*Not that I have any power to make things official... but you get what I mean.]
I've updated the Wiki, the Other Board's header, and my own website; I don't know of anywhere else the Other Board is linked from. I can't alter T-Board's header; Tomash, if you're reading, tweaking that 'beta' text might be useful (or you can give me the ability to edit it, that's fine too ^^).
And then there's Plort.
In the <a href="http://plort.wikia.com/wiki/ProtectorateofPlortWikia">Union of Plort, Konti-Nyuum, Ozerbord has been ruled by Lord Protector Huinesoron since its creation. But now there's a new power on the block...
Not Exactly a Coup
In which the advantages of precise wording are discussed, and a Baron gets a nasty shock.
Updates to the Cyclopaedia are in the works.
hS
"So, the capital of Ozerbord has moved and Borrd is no longer under siege," she said to herself. "I think I'm going to miss that place."
"But, my lady, you hardly visited Ozerbord," her fairy partner, Miguel, commented.
eatpraylove laughed. "True, but any place where I don't need to make a new set of papers on my first visit is a good place. Honestly, parts of Weab can be so bureaucratic sometimes, it's almost oppressive. Especially the Federation, good Goddess." She gestured to a desk drawer crammed with letters and forms from various scholars.
Miguel's mother piped up from atop the china cabinet she was cleaning. "Begging your pardon, my lady, but bureaucracy's a walk in the park compared to being captured by some barbarian child and promptly forgotten about. I don't suppose humans have experience with being captured?"
"No, and I thank the Goddess for my freedom every day," eatpraylove replied. "I'm sure Teebor will become as strong and lively as Ozerbord was one day."
The Knight Jumper grimaced, rudely roused from a rather rambunctious dream. "Why do you bother me so early, Tristram. 'Tis the new year! Do not bother me til' it tis what twas not tomorrow, tonight...twill be...twas..."
"Ser, the new year twas four days ago, ser. Five by some's measure. An' this news is 'portant!"
Jumper blinked, rubbing away the alcohol soaked sleep from his eyes. "Four days? Rainbow's Wings..." He motioned towards the squire, knocking aside mugs of Faust knows what for reading room. When he saw the seal of Ozerbord, the already throbbing headache penetrated deeper in his skull. "What now, Lord?"
His eyes widened.
He read again.
They widened yet more.
"Tristram?"
"Yes, ser?"
"Saddle up a strong work horse. Load her with a barrel of that new Bronee whiskey. Once that's done, if I am not dressed and ready, you are to assist me."
"At once ser. If I may?"
"Always."
"Where are you headed to?"
Jumper gazed deep upon the letter. "Making a trip to Ozerbord. The main pub, if you must ask. And no, not for myself." He headed up the stairs, handing the opened letter to Tristram, motioning approval. "For our Lord Protector."
So, thus far we've got 'the Eagleshadow sucks, so it serves him right, so let's go gloat', something vague from Baron Thanasius, and 'haha, let's go take gifts to the guy who got rid of him'.
Could someone remind me what exactly Baron Me did to be so generally disliked? I genuinely can't remember where this came from.
hS
While he has had his disagreements, Jumper will always respect the Baron. After all, it was the baron who knighted him. Even if he calls out the blatant power grabs, never did he doubt Hunesoron's strength and good heart. Besides, if anyone needs some really strong whiskey, it would be the one who just lost his kingdom, yeah?
More like, "Dude, what happened that caused you to lose your title? Because seriously." "Pray tell, my lord, what came to pass that you would be removed from your position as Protector of Ozerbord?"
And, well, to be fair, Baron hS gave himself the title just so he could have another title. That probably didn't sit well with too many people.
That Baron Eagleshadow has a reputation of a politician, and nobody likes those.
The T-board doesn't load whatsoever on boatnet.
We need another solution, you guys. This is an unacceptable state of affairs.
I'm writing a letter of complaint to your Officer of Internets. What zip code do I use for open sea addresses?
—doctorlit is :( :( :( :( right now
Out at sea, the wandering once-baron had cut her flame-painted sails, letting her small vessel drift on the waves while she fished for her dinner, singing as she did.
Occasionally something that was not fish- such as a boot, or much more frustrating, a shark- would be caught up in her nets
This time, twas a bottle she wrenched out between the knots. She held it up to the sunlight, peering, and saw a message within.
"Hm," went she, unplugging the cork as she wondered.
The contents within she read, swinging a sharp hooked pole out at a seagull that had noticed her catch as she did. It flew out of reach, and set itself upon the nearby rim.
"One does wonder how that man managed this," she said.
The seagull squawked, a terrible noise.
The wanderer rolled her eyes. "The delivery of this news, not the loss," and once more she thrust the pole at the bird. It was still better meant for attacking would-be invaders rather than annoying seabirds, and did naught.
The seagull flew off, leaving the wanderer alone, Plort barely visible in the distance.
My email is above. Bug me there for issues. The bug where you couldn't preview when editing a post has been fixed (it was literally a one line change).
I have also added an "RP" tag.
The header is located at app/views/posts/_header.html.erb in the main repository. Dann and I have the ability to make changes directly to that, so please either send text to us or fork T-Board and make a pull request (if you have absolutely no idea what that last bit means, you can probably ignore it).
Does anyone have suggestions for how to handle email sends? I'm currently using my personal Gmail account for outbound, which could be bad. Could someone maybe make an email account for T-Board to use? (I guess I could do it, if no one objects).
Also, the host I'm using limits/will limit the T-Board to being awake for 18 out of 24 hours. (If no one goes to the Board for 30 minutes, it falls asleep until someone goes there again.) This is obviously bad, so I'm still open to anyone who has something resembling a hosting suggestion.
Baron Thanasius Ampelius stared out of the library's window, not quite seeing the vista Skypcht's height afforded him. The townsman who brought him the mail stepped closer to the fireplace, rubbing his hands together.
Neither of them moved for a time, the townsman warming his hands and the Baron deep in thought. Finally, the Baron got up from the wide windowsill and went to his desk, where he quickly scribbled a few words on a scroll and sealed it. He went and tapped the townsman's shoulder. "Bjartur, would you be so kind and carry this to my friends at the monastery?"
"What?" Bjartur glanced up. "Oh. Certainly, milord. Though I hope...?" He looked at the fireplace.
"Take your time," the Baron said. "We are in no rush. The land will feel the effects of Eagleshadow's ousting for many a day."
Lady Iximaz finished reading the scroll that had been delivered earlier that day and set it aside, drumming her fingers on the desk.
"What is it?" her brother, Foon, asked. He was leaning against the desk, propped up on his elbow, and playing with one of her quills. "Don't tell me we're going to have to cancel riding."
"No, we can still go. It's just..." Lady Iximaz sighed and began pushing the scroll around her desk. "I hate to speak ill of my peers, but to be frank, the Eagleshadow has been more concerned with extending his influence than asserting his power as Ozerbord's protector. But it would appear as though his role as such has been usurped by Sir Tomash."
Foon's eyes went wide. "Wait, what?! When?"
"Just yesterday, it would seem." Lady Iximaz stood, smoothing down her rumpled tunic. "That would at least explain the sudden disappearance of the Inter'Nelerors. Sir Tomash has found a way to drive them off."
"That's... a little worrisome, actually," Foon replied, frowning. "What sort of man is he to wield such power?"
"A man like any other," Lady Iximaz said, shrugging. "And you're not the one to talk, O Great and Powerful Sorcerer."
Foon shrugged. "You saw what happened when I tried to fight the beasts."
"The Inter'Nelerors are but one threat," Lady Iximaz said calmly. "But come, let us not darken your Name Day with such thoughts. We shall go riding together, and when we return, the cook will have prepared a hearty dinner for us. Tomorrow, I will visit Baron Huinesoron."
"I don't envy you," Foon said under his breath as his sister strode out the door. He sighed and followed after her.
Trod the refugees.
There were always victims of any incursion, driven from their homes by the ravages of the Inter'Nelerors, sent from the stark, bleak landscapes of Ozerbord through the Pass of the Five to walk amongst the rich lands by the O-Road. Many dropped off along the way, tinkering and plying their trade, telling the stories of the northwest townships to new and eager ears. Some stayed. Some didn't.
Through the city of Odolotos, leaving some behind, the trains of refugees trudged wearily, but they were close. Critta-Kalthin was near, and the raids of the Baroness Iximaz had reached beyond the Wattufs, Permeshuns, and Batvegs. They were young men, mostly, eager for glory, eager to fight against a foe they could actually best. Not for them a life in the fields, scratching a living from the harsh soil; these were the dreamers and thinkers and would-be heroes of a new age. And when they got there, they could be of use to the Baroness... and her strange, crow-like maidservant, who smiled a crooked, grey-toothed smile all the time.
Oh, the Inter'Nelerors had hit Borrd hard, that much was clear from the number of nervous-looking rookie guards pointing bows or wands aloft, eyes always watching the skies above, ears pricked for a wingbeat. But the seas were safer, and felt safer, and the trade barges out of the Critta Gap were always eager for more hands on deck. The braver ones got recruited into the Rangers, taking the green as it was called, and hunted Sues from horseback when the Baron went a-raiding, the clever ones learned magic, and the really clever ones did both. But sometimes, the grubby, down-at-heel beggars among the refugees were recruited, such as the skinny, head-touched boy who called himself Earl and talked to trees like they were men, by that smiling vizier, and that was because they were dangerous.
He'd come with a bodyguard-cum-carer, a dwarf woman with a magical, spark-spitting crossbow, from out of the shot-blasted ruins of his home in Ozerbord. A simple lad, but his clothes were oddly courtly and he spoke well, and where he went an old magic went with him. And what he said, as he looked into the water, made the smiling old beggar smile all the wider.
She sprinted back to Castle De'endee, the lad lollygagging behind and the dwarf wheezing as she tried to keep up with the Big Folk's long-leggitty strides, and scrabbled down the stairs to her private quarters in the dungeons. There waited a motley gathering, quite literally in one case; a professional Fat Lady in a harlequin's outfit, a wizened mantis of a clerk, and the spine-covered, near-incomprehensible grotesque called Fish. Together, they formulated a plan to strike at a Marizu stronghold, called Axxor in their base and glittery tongue, operating out of Aohtree, and prepared a case for to bring the new guards there, with provisions for a short and bloody engagement with that oh-so-hated foe.
And then her lady summoned her, and bade her look upon a letter from one Sir Tomash, of Teebor, and she laughed and laughed and laughed.
Because I get the impression he's not really up to date when it comes about doing his job, if we go by the scenes involving him.
The trouble with Ozerbord has always been that it's virtually empty. The description of Ozerbord city used to say that it was the largest population centre - but would still only be a town in the other nations.
It has no people. It has no running water outside a few streams. It has no sea-level coast. It has no trees. It has no easy access to the rest of Konti-Nyuum. Ozerbord is a nation which exists as a bunch of empty houses for people to run to when bad things happen in Borrd, or when they want to party.
This is changing, but very slowly. Baron Thanasius Ampelius is going crazy building magical airships down south, but he's pretty much refused to share the profits with anything outside his (tiny) borders. The lighter-than-airships up at Emaille haven't been a particular success. There's nothing to trade in the entire country, so no, it's not exactly an economic powerhouse.
Though no doubt Ye Scape-Grace will show up soon to explain how it's all Baron hS's fault and without his catastrophic mismanagement Ozerbord would be a shining beacon of prosperity.
hS
He linked to a post of his on T-Board saying yourwebapps' service provider got attacked, hence the downtime.
... and as I (and Des and Sergio) suggested on T-Board itself, should we designate T-Board as the Other Board, and retire the current Other Board?
This would mean T-Board would be used for RPs and games, as well as if-and-when the Board goes down for spam or server reasons. It would provide good long-term testing data for the T-Board system, which currently we don't have.
Opinions?
hS
It always struck me as slightly odd that our main Board and hideaway Board used the same server. Smacked a bit of putting all our eggs in one basket.
The Other Board was originally the New Board. When the Board was attacked by spambots for the first time, it was still technically owned by Philosopher@Large - who hadn't been with the PPC for years. I made the Other Board to move the entire PPC to, since this place looked likely to become an eternal spam parade.
Fortunately, Techno-Dann got YourWebApps to hand over the keys, and we got the Board back. The Other Board remained as a temporary spam shelter, and later as an RP centre.
It wasn't until last year that YourWebApps started going down like this. It wasn't until last year that 'the same server' became in any way a problem.
hS
I really had no idea about that... which is perhaps to be expected, as I only joined in December 2013 and went on gardening leave shortly thereafter to try and de-appalling-human myself. Which, as you are aware, went swimmingly. =]
Still, it would have been the smart thing to actually ask about that, rather than assume it was just something people did because reasons, to use the internet's parlance. And now I know better. =]
Also, while I'm here, I really enjoyed your Plort story. But then, I really enjoy every Plort story, and Storytime With hS in general. One day I may reach your standard. =]
'Cause I still need to back up all those RPs.
—doctorlit the monomaniac
... to delete anything? ;)
hS
We would have a Board which wouldn't depend of the same server, and testing could be done. I would even have a suggestion for the testing: Could we try to set a new Gallifreyan Scrabble party? Maybe more people would participate this time, and the regualr posting, pictures included, would put to test the abilities of the T-Board.
I never even got the chance to start the New Year's Gift Exchange before the while thing happened. Perhaps we could try doing the RP for it over there as well?
... holding off overnight to give anyone who cares time to chime in. If no-one objects, I'll make the move official (changing the Wiki, the old Other Board header, the Cyclopaedia - oh, yes indeed - my site, and probably the Board header too), and everything can be nice and logical.
hS
I had just put it down to the truly atrocious service I have here.
...and I gotta say, that's just awful. I hope Linode's resolves the issue soon enough if it hasn't already. And I've bookmarked the T-Board as well, just in case.