Subject: And another one?
Author:
Posted on: 2015-12-29 15:04:00 UTC
“I feel you regarding scene shifts,” said Sarah, stifling a gag the memory of the last one.
Missing word, probably "at"?
HG
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And a new thing from me as well. by
on 2015-12-28 03:15:00 UTC
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But first, a very special announcement... I'm relocating early next month! Specifically, to Chevy Chase, Maryland, which is literally next door to Washington, D.C. I'm still working on the specifics for clearance and stuff, but long story short, I'll be working as a software engineer at my new place if things go as planned. Which means I'll have, uh, a little less time for mission-writing than I used to, but the difference will be fairly minimal if I can keep my job for like what, six months? Talons crossed, I suppose.
With that being said, on behalf of Cupid, Sarah, and one disgruntled Monado-toting assassin, I hope you enjoy "The Gods Must Be Crazy"! -
You already know my opinion by
on 2015-12-29 04:29:00 UTC
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since I betaed this. But I feel like I should be facepalming or something, as some errors still slipped through!
1) Godling!Hermione had turned blue, the scarf tightening around her neck with every breath. And by the time Sarah had finished reading off the charges to her, she’d gone limp.
Tense shift (pluperfect to present back to pluperfect). It should read thus:
Godling!Hermione had turned blue, the scarf having tightened around her neck with every breath. And by the time Sarah had finished reading off the charges to her, she’d gone limp.
2) Apparently, the two of them had been fighting as Sarah had predicted earlier.
I'd suggest a comma before "as". -
And another one? by
on 2015-12-29 15:04:00 UTC
Reply
“I feel you regarding scene shifts,” said Sarah, stifling a gag the memory of the last one.
Missing word, probably "at"?
HG -
Fixed. Thanks! ^^ (nm) by
on 2015-12-29 13:40:00 UTC
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What the... by
on 2015-12-28 10:29:00 UTC
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How the duck Potter fics manage to attract such crazy fans? I swear, it feels like they cannot write anything without destroying anything set by the canon. Great ironic deaths for the replacements, continue like this.
P.S.: Backslash, never your name was so deserved. Let someone he's not a person people explain to you how wrong your behaviour was... *beats some sense to him with my training cane* (I'm calm, I'm not using a sword.) -
Yeah, Backslash REALLY needs to chill. by
on 2015-12-29 00:04:00 UTC
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And the ironic deaths are my favorite part of any mission that involves executions, TBH. I know there's the option of just shooting them, but really, where's the fun in that? XD
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You wouldn't have the choice with Dummies. by
on 2015-12-29 08:11:00 UTC
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Except if your Agents were one step sort of flamethrower crazy.
But you can always find a way of having fun.
"Congratulations, you were selected to demonstrate the 4th point of the Evil Overlord list."
"Wut?" blam
"Shooting is not too good for my enemies."