Subject: [12/21/12: 12:02 AM]
Author:
Posted on: 2012-12-21 21:35:00 UTC

Caroline's eyes fluttered open reluctantly as an odd scratching at her bedroom door dragged her away from a spectacular dream about giant chocolate bunnies. Grumbling, the sleep-deprived teenager rolled onto her belly, dropping her arm over the edge of the bed to snatch her cell phone from the floor (she briefly considered adding a nightstand to her Christmas list, only to remember a beat later that having one would only add to the clutter in her room). After turning it on and letting her eyes adjust to the sudden light, she glanced at the time on the phone's display and tossed it back onto the floor with a groan.

For a moment she wondered what her pets could possibly want so early in the morning - her cell phone was rather clearly displaying the time as being 12:02 AM. Then, with a sigh, the teenager hauled herself up, slipped her slippers on (the only downside she could see to having all hardwood floors was that they got so bloody cold in the winter), and finally went to open her bedroom door.

As she did, she was greeted by a high-pitched, incredibly cute-sounding chirp. Surprised - cats didn't make quite that sound - Caroline looked down to see what looked like a Furby come to life. The thing was bright yellow with a white tummy and an orange beak and feet. It stared up at Caroline with large, blue eyes and chirped again, flapping its little wings like a happy, newly-hatched penguin chick.

"That... 's friggin' adorable," Caroline mumbled, still not entirely sure if she was awake.

The little Furby thing chirped again and waddled towards her, flapping its stubby little wings as though it wanted a hug. Caroline reached down to pick it up - and noticed just in time that the little fuzzy thing had turned her hardwood floors into ultra-plush, Pepto-pink carpeting wherever its feet touched the floor.

"Ho, hey, hang on, little fella," Caroline said, backing away again. "Yer spreadin' the cute around a bit, there. You contagious or somethin'?"

The Furby chirped again and began waddling faster, blinking rapidly as Caroline nearly fell rump-over-heels over a half-unpacked box of books.

"I really need to unpack the rest of my stuff," Caroline grumbled as she staggered around behind her bed. The Furby thing was still coming, turning everything it touched cute. Her sleeping bag (which needed to be rolled up and put away)? Pink and white, with gold princess-y writing all over it. Her cell phone? Hot pink with white and black hearts everywhere. Her necklaces, all silver chains with (she thought) medieval-y designed pendants? Gold chains dripping with cutesy doggy, kitty, lovey charms.

"Go away, you little freaky cute thing!" Caroline snapped. "Quit make my stuff cute! I mean," she added, backing up again as it crawled across the bed towards her, "I like cute things, but I'm more a swords-and-shining-knights kinda girl, you know?"

the Furby thing chirped again and picked up part of a curtain rod from the floor near Caroline's feet (seriously, why hadn't she unpacked and stowed everything yet?) As the stunned teenager watched, the curtain rod turned sparkling white; the end of the rod became a fluffy pink cotton ball, and dripped with gold and white ribbon and strings of red, heart-shaped beads.

"Oh, great," Caroline grumbled, "And now you're armed."

"Yah," the Furby chirped, waving its baton threateningly.

Caroline waited a second longer; just as the Furby pulled back to take a swing at her with the baton, she dove across her bed, landed in a heap on the (thankfully) now-plushy floor, and them scrambled out of her bedroom and slammed the door shut.

"That little jerk turned my door pink!" Caroline snapped. "Oh, Im'ma make me cutie stew..."

Something grabbed the door handle from inside the room and started trying to force the door open. Figuring she was better off getting armed than waiting out the adorable abomination, Caroline turned and bolted for the garage, hoping she could get to the gun safe before she was cutiefied.

Behind her, the Furby thing had thrown the door open and waddled menacingly out into the house, swinging its baton like a miniature, adorable law enforcement officer of evil as it began a methodical search for its victim.

It had searched - and cutiefied - two bedrooms and a bathroom, and had begun to do the same with a third bedroom when--

*KBLAM*

Caroline squeaked and jumped back, her rifle still aimed at the hot pink pile of glitter and stained yellow feathers that was all that remained of the adorable little terror.

"Cuteness explodes?" Caroline muttered to herself after a moment. "Guess that kinda makes sense..."

At that moment, something grabbed the back of Caroline's nightshirt, and she was dragged, screaming, bedraggled, and still clutching her rifle, through what should have been the linen closet in her hallway.

She landed with a thump on a different floor in a room that most certainly did not exist in her house. Still clutching her gun - though being careful to keep the barrel pointed up to the ceiling - she slowly stood up and took a disbelieving look around.

"What the hell...?" she wondered, blinking rapidly as though she'd been smacked between the eyes.

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