Subject: The purplest prose you've ever read?
Author:
Posted on: 2015-12-16 03:04:00 UTC
So I came across a fanfic called "Prussia x Female!Crossdresser!Reader" in which blood was at one point described as "Metal tasting life support liquid".
So I decided why not have another thread were I ask everyone a question about their reading lives.
So what is the purplest prose you've ever read? Not limited to just fanfics but books and other canon material as well.
He doesn't suffer from thesaurus disease or anything, but his prose — especially his fight scenes, oh gods his fight scenes — is so loaded up with unnecessary detail that it bogs down everything else. For example — when it takes you a whole episode to mention a sparring match happens in a room because you're so busy describing each and every move, you're not doing it right.
Every single move? As in every punch and step? Oh my gosh that sounds incredible in how bad that is.
It makes stuff that can be rather interesting into boring blow-by-blow descriptions. Too much detail is a Thing.
I would have to mention that a Persona 4 badfic that was reported by Hardric a while ago. Here are some of the urplest passages:
"The sky rippled a beautiful red and black, but it wasn't reachable. It was the only thing the fog couldn't touch- and naturally, if it couldn't reach it, then I certainly couldn't. The fog was ubiquitous. It was my reality to wander the infinite fogbank.
The world was sky and fog and shadows; eternal and immutable. Against infinity, a moment is useless. That was why I didn't keep memories. This was a world where nothing worth preserving happened; there was no growth, no change. Stagnation defined this worthless realm, an eternity of perpetual peace drowned in the fog."
"...Human faces that stared out of the inky shadows of the world.
I heard a cry of grief; a wailing dirge from the uncountable to a single extinguished life that pieced my chest with empathetic heat. I was being ripped apart, parts of me that I never knew existed pulled in opposite extremes-"
"This place was at peace, I realized. That was why it was so terrifying. This was a place that had decided entirely what it was to be for all eternity, and would resist all change to that end. Time would not flow here. The fog would not lift.
It was the most permanent sort of mask. A seal never to be broken."
"The sky rippled a beautiful red and black, but it wasn't reachable. It was the only thing the fog couldn't touch- and naturally, if it couldn't reach it, then I certainly couldn't."
That is a lot of words to say the fog wasn't blocking out their view of the sky in one part of the TV world.
Yeah, that's like when Meyer used FIFTEEN words when " he beckoned " would have sufficed. *headdesks*
Seriously, here's the quote from the fifth chapter of Twilight: “…he raised one hand and motioned with his index finger for me to join him.” That's THIRTEEN more words than necessary! When again, "he beckoned" would have been more than enough, >.
Seriously, here's the quote from the fifth chapter of Twilight: “…he raised one hand and motioned with his index finger for me to join him.” That's THIRTEEN more words than necessary! When again, "he beckoned" would have been more than enough, >.< *Headdesk*
Since fog is everywhere, she shouldn't be able of adding this description, but eh, that's glitterbags for us.
Persona 4 is one of my fandoms. Just forgot to say that in my intro thread because I can't remember them all at once.
If who ever is saying that quote isn't Teddy though something tells me the fanfic is a canon breaking mess with the "It was my reality to wander the infinite fogbank" bit. Although if it is Teddy I'm sure he is OOC as heck.
But that's an amnesiac Fem!MC with no relation to the Dojimas, who would be tied to Izanami if the 'foreshadowing' is right, and Teddie is nowhere to be found in this mess (good news for him). Other OCs and a surviving Konishi are also present.
They just completely ignored the reason the main character is there in the first place didn't they?
And why would they replace so many of the characters? Don't tell me they steal the canon personas from them or something. That would just be terrible.
Only Teddie seems to disappear. But Dojima is suspicious of her, but he brings her to live with him and Nanako because she's alone. She has got herr brand new Velvet Room, an unstable altar without an attendant and is a 'very special' guest according to Igor. And her Initial Persona is Izanami, of the Fool Arcana. Without the power of the wild card. Bloffee is on your right, feel free to drink all of it.
This oc just keeps breaking canon more and more. Might as well change who the murderer is too at that point.
Since nearly two years now, and only went as far as April 15th with nearly 40000 words. But judging by the way the Sue coveniently went in Adachi's way when he was looking for Saki Konishi, and he was gifted with Tower Arcana (which still somewhat appropriated at least), it could have been a thing.
If you want to read this by yourself, you can find it on the Unclaimed Badfic section of the wiki. Enjoy and rage.
Especially because I intend to claim it sooner or later. Does the idea of Urple Prose litteraly tasting like diabete for the Agents look bad to you?
That does sounds like a good idead to me. Certainly sounds like something that would happen in the PPC!
I was going to talk about Twilight and Inheritance, especially Roran's speechs, but now I saw the first chapter of the Eye, I'm not so sure anymore about this. I think I gazed into the end of all good writing, and it was horrible.
Don't believe me?
See for yourself.
(Content of story is NSFW in parts.)
And one of the first things is "stone pathway bordered by plush vegitation lustfully enhanced by the moon's shimmering rays" because there is nothing like misspellings in your purple prose.
I'm pretty sure if you delve through the Board archives you'll find jokes about Grignr peppered through the earliest posts. :D
Grignr is the best. Can I recruit Grignr to the PPC? :D :D :DhS GRIGNR SMASH!
No, no, no, hS! Noooo!
(And then it was too late).
I also used to organize readings of EoA over Skype, too.
-July, getting strange looks
Four teenagers hopped up on chocolate milk and sodas trying to read this thing aloud without laughing at one in the morning? Best sleepover game ever.