He doesn't suffer from thesaurus disease or anything, but his prose — especially his fight scenes, oh gods his fight scenes — is so loaded up with unnecessary detail that it bogs down everything else. For example — when it takes you a whole episode to mention a sparring match happens in a room because you're so busy describing each and every move, you're not doing it right.

I would have to mention that a Persona 4 badfic that was reported by Hardric a while ago. Here are some of the urplest passages:

"The sky rippled a beautiful red and black, but it wasn't reachable. It was the only thing the fog couldn't touch- and naturally, if it couldn't reach it, then I certainly couldn't. The fog was ubiquitous. It was my reality to wander the infinite fogbank.

The world was sky and fog and shadows; eternal and immutable. Against infinity, a moment is useless. That was why I didn't keep memories. This was a world where nothing worth preserving happened; there was no growth, no change. Stagnation defined this worthless realm, an eternity of perpetual peace drowned in the fog."

"...Human faces that stared out of the inky shadows of the world.

I heard a cry of grief; a wailing dirge from the uncountable to a single extinguished life that pieced my chest with empathetic heat. I was being ripped apart, parts of me that I never knew existed pulled in opposite extremes-"

"This place was at peace, I realized. That was why it was so terrifying. This was a place that had decided entirely what it was to be for all eternity, and would resist all change to that end. Time would not flow here. The fog would not lift.

It was the most permanent sort of mask. A seal never to be broken."

I was going to talk about Twilight and Inheritance, especially Roran's speechs, but now I saw the first chapter of the Eye, I'm not so sure anymore about this. I think I gazed into the end of all good writing, and it was horrible.

Don't believe me?

See for yourself.

(Content of story is NSFW in parts.)