Fallout: Age of Monsters (Fallout/The Mutant Epoch/Shadowrun/Terra Nova/Half-Life franchise/Alien franchise/Plague, Inc.: Evolved/Godzilla franchise/Ark: Survival Evolved/Primeval/Jurassic Park franchise/King Kong)

With all of our advances, all of our weapons of war, we thought ourselves above the natural world, the masters of our planet.

We were wrong. So very, very wrong. We should have known that Mother Nature would take offense at our meddling, but her revenge came in ways that we could never have expected.

Some Vault-Tec officials in Central America found DNA from all manner of extinct creatures, combining them with the genetic material of modern-day animals to fill the gaps left in the genes. There was even talk of a few being specially bred for military use.
It didn't go well.
Details on what happened are scarce, but the resulting creatures looked very different from what were supposed to have been exact replicas of the original creatures. Stronger... smarter... with more teeth. They escaped their containment, wreaking havoc. Now, it is no longer mammals who rule the continent of South America. Instead, monstrous hybrids stalk the land, ruling over a twisted parody of the ancient world.

On an island off the coast of Asia, Vault-Tec found another source of extinct life: an entire ecosystem of animals that had seemingly been plucked from the reaches of time and space and placed here to evolve. Specimens were quickly taken off the island for study, but one creature became particularly notorious: an ape of unprecedented size and strength, worshipped as a god by native cultures. With such primal power at their fingertips, Vault-Tec immediately began to clone the creature for some kind of military program, as well as an extinct creature that was said to be some sort of demon that the ape's kind had killed off centuries ago. But Vault-Tec had no time for legends when there was science to be done.
They should have listened.
Whatever the Vault-Tec scientists had done to the creatures of that island, they were unable to get the creatures to submit to human control. In the bloodbath that ensued, the creatures of that lost world escaped. As if we needed more goddamn dinosaurs.
But the island had one last secret waiting to be taken. Hidden at the center of the island was a site housing technology beyond anything humanity has ever devised. Vault-Tec was naturally all over it, but the biggest breakthrough came from what must have been holding facilities inside the ship, most of which contained lifeforms like nothing on Earth held in what appeared to be a form of stasis. Unable to resist the allure of examining alien life, the scientists opened the cells, eager to unlock whatever secrets the aliens had within them.
The second those damned monsters were released, it was game over.

Seemingly to rub in even further the fact that we were screwed, another one of Vault-Tec's experiments was looking into the possibilities of alternate dimensions and time travel. What they found was not too happy at being disturbed. Monsters from the past, the future, and from some hellish dimension poured out of the lab, fleeing into the countryside.

Diseases suddenly began to mutate into new, horrifying diseases: a mind-controlling worm, an honest-to-goodness zombie virus, and some kind of mutator that killed humans but had incredible effects on apes, making them smarter, more human-like... more hostile.

The atomic bombs just made it worse. Animals began to evolve to defend themselves against these new threats-cattle as large as elephants with bulletproof hides, giant sea serpent lizards, even carnivorous rabbits, of all things.

But these horrors were far from the worst things to come.
After the bombs were dropped, creatures of sizes previously thought to be unimaginable began to arise, either from their eons-long slumber or mutated by nuclear fallout. Mantises the size of planes, supersonic pterosaurs, birds as big as battleships... but one stood above the rest, figuratively and literally. An ancient alpha predator, at the very top of its primordial ecosystem.
We call him Godzilla, King of the Monsters.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------Well, here's my clusterhump of Biblical proportions. I've already got a way to avoid having to characterize anything as well: don't have characters. This beauty would have a kind of bestiary format, going over the various monstrosities that have developed in this hellscape. With all of these franchises to go over, it would be an enormous undertaking.
I imagine that the nuclear fallout would also affect these introduced creatures as well, maybe create some Chaos Effect-style hybrids. With this story, the world after it ended is a whole lot more dangerous.

Nanoha's family moved to the UK before she was born for whatever reasons (probably to flee from Shiro's enemies) so that her name ends up registered in Hogwarts at birth. Hayate probably would also have to be relocated, though not necessary in the same timeframe And you would also have to move everything in Nanoha canon in time by several years. (Hey, it's supposed to be a crack crossover, right?)

So Nanoha then ends up going to Hogwarts, where she may or may not have serious problems because her magic is probably not compatible with HP spells. Then she while she is in her first year, the Jewel Seed incident happens right there and that is also where Yuuno and Fate arrive.

"Professor!"

Both Abronsious and the Doctor were awake in a flash at the young man's yell. "What is it, Alfred?" Professor Abronsious asked before the Time Lord could.

"I saw it! HIM! He was in there!"

The Doctor barged into the bathroom, turning his eyes away from Sarah, who was hurriedly wrapping herself in her bathrobe as her parents came in, babbling anxious, angry questions. He first noticed the overpowering stench and coughed violently. He knew that smell - the fumes of decay and death.

Abronsious was examining Sarah's neck with a magnifying glass, but her angry father was soon in the way and they decided it was better to leave her alone. "Alfred!" the young man's teacher was telling him, "did you see? No bite marks! He came in, but he didn't bite her - yet!"

Alfred crossed himself and took out a crucifix, pointing it in the four directions of the compass to ward off the evil of the vampire count. The Doctor secretly took a scan with the sonic screwdriver when no one was looking, but the trail was very faint. He looked out into the night. "Let's hope we catch that vampire soon, Professor…"

--
Basically, the Doctor landed in 18th-century Germany and is helping Abronsious and Alfred to keep Sarah safe as best he can without terrifying the already scared and vampire-phobic villagers than they are already. He's a Time Lord, after all, and tools such as he has would not be welcome - especially considering that what Abronsious and Alfred did in the village wasn't taken well, and they were humans trying to stop the real alpha vampire of a real gigantic vampire flock. So…yeah. It would be difficult to do anything useful, really.

Into The Woods (Warehouse 13/Gravity Falls)

Pete peered out the windshield at what seemed to be a solid wall of trees. "That is the most green I have ever seen in my life," he murmured. "That's almost too much green. A green-pocalypse, if you will."

Myra did her best to ignore him as she drove. Pete had reached the "random nonsense" part of every long drive, where he just starting talking about whatever was on his mind as a distraction. Indulging him typically only gave her a headache. Not that it stopped him from trying.

"I mean, look at these things. If there was some kind of anti-Bob Ross, these are the kind of trees he'd paint." Pete paused. "Hey, do you think there are any Bob Ross artifacts in the—"

The Farnsworth mercifully buzzed. It took all of Myka's restraint not to vocally praise some higher power.

Pete flipped open the device, revealing Artie's face on the small black-and-white screen. "Hey Artie," he said. "Do we have any Bob Ross artifacts?"

"What? What are you…" Artie waved his hands around, like he was trying to clear cobwebs out of his face. "That's not important! Have you arrived at Gravity Falls yet?"

"Last sign I saw said we were about ten miles away," Myka interjected. "We should be arriving in a few minutes."

"Any idea what we're supposed to be looking for?" Pete asked.

Artie shook his head. "No, but I know a good place to start." He held up a handful of newspaper clippings. "Most of the strange sightings and occurrences involve the same family. Stan Pines and his great-niece and nephew. They run a little tourist trap on the outskirts of town called the Mystery Shack. And when I say 'tourist trap,' I'm only a few steps away from being literal. Place should be condemned if these photos are any indication."

Myka snorted. "The Mystery Shack? Is it as hokey as it seems?"

"Probably," Artie replied. "But there could also be an artifact hidden among those tchotchkes. Keep on your toes."

"You got it, boss," Pete said. The screen fizzled and went dark.

Myka shook her head. "The Mystery Shack," she repeated. "I can't help but feel a bit silly, going somewhere with that name."

"I don't know," Pete said. "It could actually be fun. I remember going to a few places like that when I was on road trips as a kid. They were cheesy, sure, but in a good way." He looked out the passenger window at the trees again. "Who's to say that… that…"

He trailed off.

"Pete?"

"Was that a garden gnome in that tree?"

~~~~~

Like I said in the subject line, this is debatably crack. But the idea got in my head and I just couldn't shake it.

Long ago, I had a plotbunny for a Harry Potter x Jekyll & Hyde crossover. Basically, the premise is that Jekyll's formula went wrong because some magical ingredients were dumped in a Muggle chemist's shop by a wizard on the run from Magical Law Enforcement for possession of said ingredients. At the end of his story, Jekyll doesn't die; instead, he finds his way into the Wizarding World and becomes a Hogwarts professor—DADA or Potions, I dunno.

Unfortunately, I have no idea what the rest of the story is. Unless I were to make it a modern spin on the Jekyll & Hyde story, it would have to be set in the late 1800s, which means I'd have to make up pretty much the entire cast. Dumbledore might be around somewhere, but I think he was probably busy with Grindelwald at the time. Point being, aside from Jekyll, the whole cast would be OCs, and that's a lot of work—not to mention the research involved in putting together a picture of what Hogwarts and the Wizarding World were like back then. Hence why I never wrote it.

If anyone wants to adopt the plotbunny and give it a good home, though, feel free. {= )

~Neshomeh

Does that count? I think it should count. *grins*

------------------------------------------------------------------

The flavors are changed: I feel it in the milk, I feel it in the caramel, I smell it in the coffee beans... Much that once was is lost, for none now have the browser history to remember it.

It began with the blending of the Great Flavors: Caramel, Vanilla, and Mocha. These Three were given to the hipsters, out of the mainstream of time, coolest... fairest fashion sense of all beings.

Seven, to the Wrimos (but they were all too focused on their books to notice what they got), great writers and authors of the coffee shops.

And Nine...nine shots of espresso were gifted to the college students who, above all else, desire caffeine.

For within these flavors was bound the strength and the will to govern each coffee lover.

But they were, all of them, deceived; for another Flavor was made.

In the land of Starbucks, in the fields of coffee beans,
the Dark Barista Sauron blended, in secret, a master flavor.

And into this flavor he poured his cruelty, his malice
and his will to dominate all flavors of coffee.

One flavor to rule them all.

One flavor to find them.

One flavor to bring them all,

And in the darkness bind them.

Pumpkin Spice...

---------------------------------------------------------------

If that's not crack, I don't know what is.

-Alleb

Molly had mentioned that her penpal was from Japan, so I was pretty surprised when a clearly Caucasian girl answered the door to their hotel room. She looked like nothing so much as Murphy's kid sister - cute, petite, blonde, and probably capable of kicking my ass five ways to Sunday. "You are Molly Carpenter and Harry Dresden, correct?" she said in a calm, serious voice that gave me vaguely Vulcan vibes. Her accent was some variant of British; I'm not exactly up on my BBC, so anything more precise than that is beyond me.

Molly looked a little awkward, but not too surprised. "That's us. You're Saber, right? Rin's told me a lot about you."

Saber nodded, and gave Molly a reassuring smile. "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." She shook hands with me, crossing the rather hastily-erected ward on the room in the process, and I got a feel of her...aura, I suppose. The amount of power coming off her was incredible. It wasn't so much that she had a massive amount of magical energy; it felt more like she was completely composed of it. From the Padawan's wide-eyed expression, she'd gotten the same thing. "Rin and Shirou are still preparing themselves," the girl continued, "although I believe it would be more accurate to say they are both preparing Shirou. Please, come inside."

We followed her into the main room of their suite. Molly and I took seats on the couch, and Saber excused herself to go get the others. "Who's Shirou?" I whispered to Molly, once we were alone.

"Rin's boyfriend," she said, barely paying attention to the question.

"And Saber, or whatever she's called?"

Molly looked troubled. "...Based on the sense I got from her letters, Rin's girlfriend. But she didn't mention anything about... that."

"Yeah, I'd imagine that's not the kind of thing you casually mention... wait, what?" Okay, so it was probably a lot less relevant to the situation than everything else going on, but there are certain things a man isn't allowed to overlook.

Molly shrugged. "It sounded complicated. I didn't poke too hard."

"Molly?" called an unfamiliar female voice. The speaker this time looked slightly more like what I'd pictured in my head, an Asian girl around the same age as Molly. Though I hadn't expected the short skirt and thigh-high socks to exist outside of it.

Molly broke into a grin. "Rin!" She stood up and hugged the other girl, who returned it with rather less enthusiasm.

"Ah, and you're Mr. Dresden, right?" she said to me in accented but clear English.

"Yeah. Nice to meet a friend of Molly's."

She smiled politely and shook my hand. "I could say the same thing about you."

"Oi, Tohsaka. Is this them?" A boy of about the same age as Rin came out of their room, wearing a dress shirt and a slightly grumpy expression. He might have looked pretty average, but I got the sense that he was a lot tougher than you'd think at first glance. I wouldn't be surprised if he could hold out for a few minutes against the Summer or Winter Knight.

The blonde girl they'd called Saber... I'd be surprised if one of the Knights could hold out for a few minutes against her.

Which raised the question of how exactly Molly's penpal got involved with someone that high on the scale of powerful magical beings. And what kind of problem they had that would require us to help out with.

***

Okay, so the various setting mechanics (not to mention timelines) probably mean that such a crossover wouldn't work very well, but I just want to see the characters interact. I'm not sure what the actual plot would be; probably something involving the Knights of the Cross, since it's a good excuse to bring in Shirou's sword fetish specific talents. Mandatory is a bit where the female characters all commiserate on exactly what sort of idiocy they have to put up with on a daily basis from Shirou and Harry.

REALLY? (The Secret World of Alex Mack X Worm)

I stared at her. She stared back.

As powers went, she had it pretty much made. It was a really unconventional Trump mix (insofar as you got conventional Trump mixes); lightning bolts, a transformation into goop, and telekinesis that didn't have a Manton limit that we'd been able to find. I really didn't know why she hadn't gone into the cape game with powers like that. Hell, any Wards team worth their salt would be climbing over each other to get her on the team. But nope, here she was, staring me down in a van in San Francisco, the last place I could run.

Crushed as I was between Bitch's slowly deflating dogs, and as much as I was really not okay with small metal spaces like the van we'd hired, today had been a good day. Tattletale was sat next to me, Regent had somehow managed to lounge in the back of a speeding van, we'd beaten up a local gang of street thugs and we had a lot of their loot as working capital for the next few days. Everything had gone off completely without a hitch. And then there was the new girl, in a makeshift costume and a frankly godawful hat (Regent kept calling it the condom cap), but she'd proved really useful in a fight. It turned out that people were much easier for Regent to control if she gave them a quick jolt first, which was very useful for us, and that her goop state was semi-invulnerable.

"So," she said, "how'd you get your powers?"

I winced. I could remember having this exact same lack-of-conversation with the other Undersiders back in the day. Tattletale opened her mouth and then, in the shock of the year, closed it again. Then she spoke.

"How'd you get yours, newbie?"

"Huh. Funny story, actually. I was just going to school and I got soaked in this stuff called GC-161 when a truck hit me. The local factory was--"

"REALLY?" Tattletale all but screamed. Grue slammed on the brakes and we all rattled around inside the van for a bit. "[Censored for the Board]ing REALLY? A [see previous censorship]ing diet pill?"

I couldn't help it. I echoed Tattletale's thoughts.

Parallel universes had all the luck.

...Wait a second.
___

On an actually crackpot one I've got in process somewhere, I've DC Comics (specifically Batman's corner of the universe) crossing over with Codex Alera.

Alas, that I don't have access to things currently, so you'll have take my word for it.

Yep PL vs PW was a crossover I loved to see become a reality. Even if I don't have it myself.

As for other crossovers I'd love to see but can't write about very well on an iPad they are really just silly ones.
I want to see a good Assissans Creed crossover with Hamilton the Broadway show. Or even Assissans Creed meets Liberty Kids just to see how'd it would turn out. Assissans Creed with any history based series would be nice. Anything Layton Brothers Mystery room related would be cool too.

If you are serious about the Lord of the rings crossover with southern politics I have a book about some Rebels' journey to Mexico where they attempted to create a second US south that could be interesting to see.

It's so... beautiful, I cried! :D

Also, completely off-top... whenever I see something related to the 'Jurassic' series, I need to post THIS! (NSFW)

Obviously, given the events of the Jurassic World film, the park will be shut down... right? I mean, all those guests saw the nasty vicious meat-eating dinosaurs escape and kill everyone, right?

Well, actually... no. Thinking back on it, the only escape the visitors saw was the aviary. They never knew about the I. rex, or the raptors loose in the field. They were all gone long before the final battle, so they have no idea about that, either. With the exception of the main cast (who can be silenced pretty easily if necessary) and the staff of the park/InGen personnel (ditto), all anyone knows - or needs to know - is this:

-The owner of the park, Simon Masrani, took up a park helicopter without his trainer, even though he wasn't a qualified pilot.

-On that flight, he managed to lose control and crash into the aviary, breaking some of the panels.

-This allowed the Pteranodon and Dimorphodon to escape and flock to the visitors' area.

Yes, there were casualties. If Masrani had survived, he would definitely be facing criminal prosecution (say the park's new administrators). It isn't the pterosaurs' fault, of course - they're just wild animals - but they have been a concern since the original park, and this incident proves that they simply aren't fit to be used as an attraction. Jurassic World will therefore be relocating the entire flock to a secondary site, to live out their lives in humane conditions. The aviary site will be used for a thrilling new attraction: a rollercoaster-slash-monorail through the domain of the feathered, flying dinosaurs, Microraptor and Archaeopteryx! (These dinosaurs are far too small to attack humans, and anyway, the aviary will be reinforced and designated an absolute no-fly zone.)

Any rumours you may have heard of Godzilla-like murderous hybrids are exactly what they sound like - sensationalist sci-fi nonsense made up by the gutter press to sell papers. As for that purported 'footage' - really? My kid can make CG better than that on his iPhone, and he's 11 (says the PR rep, trying for a laugh from the reporters).

We will be using the down-time to undertake a full review of all our security precautions, despite the fact that - I must stress again - not a single one of them failed during the recent incident. And let me tell you about some of the great new ideas our techies have come up with! Do you wanna see T. rex hunting its goats on the open plain? Yeah, I just bet you do...

This concludes the statement from the Jurassic World marketing board. The park administration has refused to answer further questions about the presence of armed forces on Isla Nublar, or the unexplained death toll among park employees during the cleanup following the incident...

(Sadly, I doubt they'll be re-opening the park for the next film - it's a story we've just told, so there would be very little point. But I can't see a fundamental reason they couldn't... can you?)

hS