Oh, absolutely.

Subject: Oh, absolutely.
Author: Huinesoron
Posted on: 2015-11-23 14:53:00 UTC

And Dimorphodon doesn't have a Velociraptor jurassicparkus skull, either. I think it's abundantly clear that Dr. Wu has engaged in genetic manipulation on a far greater scale than he admits. Probably half the creatures in Jurassic World are hybrids - the mosacroc, the pteroraptors, the raptorgators themselves...

The main theory I've seen about the 'pterosaur KILL' thing is that they were stressed and panicking, which causes animals to lash out. Which doesn't exactly explain flying long-distance to the visitors' centre... and doesn't ring terribly true regardless. Perhaps the wind was blowing the scent of burgers from the south?

[Puts on InGen/Masrati hat] Our deepest sympathies are with the families of those employees whose lives were lost during the recent incident. While the possibility of fatal injury was included in their contracts, none of us ever expected such a terrible loss of life. Unfortunately, many of the bodies were severely damaged while attempting to contain the incident inside the aviary itself - falling glass, pterosaur feeding habits, one regrettable firearms accident, and the generally untamed nature of the area all contributing - and to avoid alarming the loved ones of our employees, it was deemed best to cremate the bodies on-site.

[Alternately, some waffle about tropical/pterosaur diseases could be constructed, provided it can be done in such a way as not to make the visitors think they could be infected.]

We have all heard the stories spread by two relatives of the disgraced former assistant director, Redhead Highheels. While we are sure Zack and Notzack were deeply traumatised by their unauthorised excursion into prohibited areas of the park, the sad fact is that that is exactly what they were doing. It is entirely natural that they should wish to spin the tale into something 'larger than life', as it were - why talk about the majestic Ankylosaurus when you can claim to have met Indominus rex - or, to hear them talk, Diabolus godzillex! [Pause for laughter] But what can I say - boys will be boys, eh?

In entirely unrelated news, the opening of Verizon presents Indominus rex has been postponed until after the results of the security review have been thoroughly processed. [Because 'indefinite postponement' is far easier to swing than 'cancelled'.]

Then you get your CG team to mock up some fake videos of about six different, mutually-contradictory 'REAL Jurassic World incident's, plus a few 'eyewitness accounts' which disagree with them all, and leak them through untraceable assets, so that any evidence of the original gets subsumed under the tide of viral nonsense. ^_^

hS, expecting the letter from InGen any day now...

Reply Return to messages

Jump to this post's position in the thread ↴

Crackpot crossovers (that you would totally read). by Huinesoron on 2015-11-23 11:34:00 UTC Reply

Exactly what it says on the tin. There are loads of good ideas for crossovers - but there are also heaps of insane, bewildering, and downright bonkers ones. Some of them you just want to set fire to, but others you kind of want to see, just to know how they end.

So this is where you get to share those ideas. >:D

A request: if you're going to give an idea (and please do), write a bit of it! That's much more fun than just listing a massive heap of fandoms without context. And, hey, we're supposed to be a fanfic community, right?

The Lord of the Union: The Fellowship of the South (Lord of the Rings/US politics)

Governor Elrond of Louisiana stood with his back to the window, hands clasped behind his back. Before him, the two Texans - Congressman Frodo and Second Sub-Assistant Undersecretary Samwise - looked small, almost insignificant. Only the tightly-rolled paper clasped in Frodo's right hand hinted at their true importance.

"President Sauron wishes to subjugate all America to his Democrat ideals," the Governor said. "Only that treaty can prevent him - and only if it is brought before Congress ere his plans are full-wrought. And you, Frodo, have agreed to present it."

"I will present the treaty," Congressman Frodo said firmly, "though I do not know the protocol."

Governor Elrond smiled. "There you will have help," he assured the young Congressman. "Your faithful second sub-assistant undersecretary will accompany you; and as your guide through the murk of Washington politics…" He gestured towards the figure who has just that moment entered the room.

Congressman Frodo gasped. "Gandalf!"

Senator Gandalf (Republican, Mississippi) smiled. "Yes, Congressman," he said. "I will accompany you, if you will have me."

"As for the rest," said the Governor, "I have in mind a company, a fellowship, if you will: nine of those who have come to this meeting will travel together, and the nine representatives of good will stand against the nine Supreme Court Justices of evil." He paused, and bent forward slightly. "Although," he added in an undertone, "I hear rumours that three or perhaps even four of them would stand with us if they could. Of course, the majority will always direct the Supreme Court's actions, but if one more could be swayed…" He shook his head, as if casting out the idea. "It is a fantasy," he said.

"And yet stranger things have come to pass," Senator Gandalf mused.

Governor Elrond nodded slowly. "But we must attend the business at hand," he said. "The members of the fellowship should represent the strong Republican states of the South. From South Carolina, Lieutenant Governor Boromir will travel with you…"

~

Why are the Fellowship Republicans? Because, ultimately, they're about conservatism - keeping things the way they are, rather than letting Sauron change them.

Expect dramatic filibustering, foreign ambassadors standing in for elves, and a curious reluctance to refer to the Democrat President Sauron as the Dark Lord…

Fallout: Sodor (Fallout series/Thomas the Tank Engine)

Only one wagon of coal remained.

The tunnels of the Blue Mountain Quarry - the last stronghold of the true engines of Sodor - were dark these days, with no fuel to light them. Only a few of the engines lit their lamps at any one time, so as Gordon took the podium, he was lit mostly by the soft glow of carefully-banked boilers.

"Since the Fat Controller was taken from us," the big blue engine puffed, "you have trusted me to lead you through these dark times. As your leader, then, there is only one thing I can say: we must send an expedition out of the mountain, to find more coal."

Percy wheeshed in alarm, then hastily muffled the sound - there was no steam to waste, now. "But there's diesels out there!" he cried.

The assembled engines muttered amongst themselves, rocking back and forth on their tracks. The whispers grew louder and more agitated, until at last Gordon's whistle broke through them: Poop! Poop!

"I know the dangers," Gordon said, his brow furrowing in irritation. "Do you think I would propose this if there was any other choice? Hmph."

"We haven't been down into the very deepest mines," said Rheneas, one of the narrow-gauge engines. "They still aren't safe, but… perhaps I could…"

"We can't risk it," Edward said firmly. "Since James' party was scrapped by the diesels, we don't have enough-"

"We don't know they were scrapped!" Henry spluttered. "They could still be out there-"

"And if they are, it's because they can't get back!" Duck exclaimed. "The diesels know where we are: it's much too dangerous to send anyone out!"

Gordon whistled again, shaking the cave. "We all knew this was coming," he said, "and we have been preparing for it. Months ago, a brave volunteer came forward; we have been upgrading him, outfitting him with every weapon we could scrape together." He chuffed backward, yielding the spotlight. "Thomas: come out."

A light blazed suddenly in the mining tunnel behind him. The engines gasped, rolling back, as Thomas the tank engine steamed into view. His blue paintwork was marred by armour plating and weapon mounts: cannons and energy weapons, railguns and flails. Under the scarring left by the first days of the diesels' attack, his face held only grim determination.

The cavern was silent. Then Toby gave a low whistle of appreciation. "Now that," he murmured, "is a Really Useful Engine."

~

Steam engines: taking linear gameplay to a whole new level. The Island of Sodor is now either a post-apocalyptic hellscape (with mysteriously-intact railways everywhere)... or just a perfectly normal diesel/electric railway, completely unaware that vengeful, obsolete steam trains are just waiting to pounce.

Percy Jackson and the Tyrant King (Percy Jackson/Jurassic World)

Percy and Annabeth clung to each other as the Velociraptor stalked around their gyrosphere. It leant in towards the side panel, sniffed - and then uncurled its clawed fingers and entered a deft series of commands.

The pod slid open, spilling its demigod occupants onto the loamy flood. Percy scrabbled for Riptide, simultaneously reaching out to summon any water in the area - then froze as the raptor opened its mouth and let out a very human laugh.

"Really, Percy Jackson," it hissed, bobbing its head in amusement, "you think you can fight me? Has Camp Half-Blood taught you nothing?"

Percy just stared, but at his side, Annabeth frowned in concentration. "Velociraptor," she murmured, "hunter, on an all-female island… Artemis?"

"Very good, daughter of Athena." The Velociraptor seemed to settle slightly, resting its weight more firmly on its feet. "And what do you think of my new form?"

"I don't understand," Percy said, his voice shaking. "Why are you here? And, uh, why do you look like that?"

Artemis laughed again. "Why wouldn't we be here?" she asked. "This island is the pinnacle of Western civilisation - the height of your human science, your creativity, your hubris. Where else would the Gods of Olympus be found?"

"You're all here?" Annabeth shook her head. "My mother would never-"

"Your mother," Artemis said smugly, "was the first to come. She makes a very handsome Troodon."

"No, wait." Percy waved his hand in the air. "I still don't understand."

"There's a surprise," Annabeth murmured.

"Why are you here?" Percy asked again, ignoring her. "I thought you were… well, our gods. Human gods. Not… creepy murder-reptiles."

"Humans," Artemis hissed, flexing her sickle claws. "So self-centred… but I'm afraid these dinosaurs are better than you in, oh, every way. My raptors are stronger, smarter, more loyal…" She sniffed the air, rose up onto her toes, her body tensing. "And better hunters," she added. "And they are nearly here… I suggest you run."

~

Zeus is a T. rex, Poseidon is a Mosasaurus, and Hades is doubtless stuck as something like a Stygiomoloch, with its 'Head-Dome of Darkness'. Since we've already done the Titanomacy and the Gigantomachy, I guess we'll either do Hera's attempt to incite a revolt against Zeus (with her as the I. rex, naturally), or the Trojan War and the divine infighting that occurred then.

>:D Your turn.

hS

My turn! by GlarnBoudin on 2015-11-26 03:09:00 UTC Reply

Fallout: Age of Monsters (Fallout/The Mutant Epoch/Shadowrun/Terra Nova/Half-Life franchise/Alien franchise/Plague, Inc.: Evolved/Godzilla franchise/Ark: Survival Evolved/Primeval/Jurassic Park franchise/King Kong)

With all of our advances, all of our weapons of war, we thought ourselves above the natural world, the masters of our planet.

We were wrong. So very, very wrong. We should have known that Mother Nature would take offense at our meddling, but her revenge came in ways that we could never have expected.

Some Vault-Tec officials in Central America found DNA from all manner of extinct creatures, combining them with the genetic material of modern-day animals to fill the gaps left in the genes. There was even talk of a few being specially bred for military use.
It didn't go well.
Details on what happened are scarce, but the resulting creatures looked very different from what were supposed to have been exact replicas of the original creatures. Stronger... smarter... with more teeth. They escaped their containment, wreaking havoc. Now, it is no longer mammals who rule the continent of South America. Instead, monstrous hybrids stalk the land, ruling over a twisted parody of the ancient world.

On an island off the coast of Asia, Vault-Tec found another source of extinct life: an entire ecosystem of animals that had seemingly been plucked from the reaches of time and space and placed here to evolve. Specimens were quickly taken off the island for study, but one creature became particularly notorious: an ape of unprecedented size and strength, worshipped as a god by native cultures. With such primal power at their fingertips, Vault-Tec immediately began to clone the creature for some kind of military program, as well as an extinct creature that was said to be some sort of demon that the ape's kind had killed off centuries ago. But Vault-Tec had no time for legends when there was science to be done.
They should have listened.
Whatever the Vault-Tec scientists had done to the creatures of that island, they were unable to get the creatures to submit to human control. In the bloodbath that ensued, the creatures of that lost world escaped. As if we needed more goddamn dinosaurs.
But the island had one last secret waiting to be taken. Hidden at the center of the island was a site housing technology beyond anything humanity has ever devised. Vault-Tec was naturally all over it, but the biggest breakthrough came from what must have been holding facilities inside the ship, most of which contained lifeforms like nothing on Earth held in what appeared to be a form of stasis. Unable to resist the allure of examining alien life, the scientists opened the cells, eager to unlock whatever secrets the aliens had within them.
The second those damned monsters were released, it was game over.

Seemingly to rub in even further the fact that we were screwed, another one of Vault-Tec's experiments was looking into the possibilities of alternate dimensions and time travel. What they found was not too happy at being disturbed. Monsters from the past, the future, and from some hellish dimension poured out of the lab, fleeing into the countryside.

Diseases suddenly began to mutate into new, horrifying diseases: a mind-controlling worm, an honest-to-goodness zombie virus, and some kind of mutator that killed humans but had incredible effects on apes, making them smarter, more human-like... more hostile.

The atomic bombs just made it worse. Animals began to evolve to defend themselves against these new threats-cattle as large as elephants with bulletproof hides, giant sea serpent lizards, even carnivorous rabbits, of all things.

But these horrors were far from the worst things to come.
After the bombs were dropped, creatures of sizes previously thought to be unimaginable began to arise, either from their eons-long slumber or mutated by nuclear fallout. Mantises the size of planes, supersonic pterosaurs, birds as big as battleships... but one stood above the rest, figuratively and literally. An ancient alpha predator, at the very top of its primordial ecosystem.
We call him Godzilla, King of the Monsters.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------Well, here's my clusterhump of Biblical proportions. I've already got a way to avoid having to characterize anything as well: don't have characters. This beauty would have a kind of bestiary format, going over the various monstrosities that have developed in this hellscape. With all of these franchises to go over, it would be an enormous undertaking.
I imagine that the nuclear fallout would also affect these introduced creatures as well, maybe create some Chaos Effect-style hybrids. With this story, the world after it ended is a whole lot more dangerous.
A Harry potter and Nanoha X-over where... by James Shields on 2015-11-25 18:24:00 UTC Reply

Nanoha's family moved to the UK before she was born for whatever reasons (probably to flee from Shiro's enemies) so that her name ends up registered in Hogwarts at birth. Hayate probably would also have to be relocated, though not necessary in the same timeframe And you would also have to move everything in Nanoha canon in time by several years. (Hey, it's supposed to be a crack crossover, right?)

So Nanoha then ends up going to Hogwarts, where she may or may not have serious problems because her magic is probably not compatible with HP spells. Then she while she is in her first year, the Jewel Seed incident happens right there and that is also where Yuuno and Fate arrive.
Doctor Who/Tanz der Vampire! by Silenthunder on 2015-11-25 03:50:00 UTC Reply

"Professor!"

Both Abronsious and the Doctor were awake in a flash at the young man's yell. "What is it, Alfred?" Professor Abronsious asked before the Time Lord could.

"I saw it! HIM! He was in there!"

The Doctor barged into the bathroom, turning his eyes away from Sarah, who was hurriedly wrapping herself in her bathrobe as her parents came in, babbling anxious, angry questions. He first noticed the overpowering stench and coughed violently. He knew that smell - the fumes of decay and death.

Abronsious was examining Sarah's neck with a magnifying glass, but her angry father was soon in the way and they decided it was better to leave her alone. "Alfred!" the young man's teacher was telling him, "did you see? No bite marks! He came in, but he didn't bite her - yet!"

Alfred crossed himself and took out a crucifix, pointing it in the four directions of the compass to ward off the evil of the vampire count. The Doctor secretly took a scan with the sonic screwdriver when no one was looking, but the trail was very faint. He looked out into the night. "Let's hope we catch that vampire soon, Professor…"

--
Basically, the Doctor landed in 18th-century Germany and is helping Abronsious and Alfred to keep Sarah safe as best he can without terrifying the already scared and vampire-phobic villagers than they are already. He's a Time Lord, after all, and tools such as he has would not be welcome - especially considering that what Abronsious and Alfred did in the village wasn't taken well, and they were humans trying to stop the real alpha vampire of a real gigantic vampire flock. So…yeah. It would be difficult to do anything useful, really.
Debatably crack, but what I'd like to see is... by PoorCynic on 2015-11-24 14:21:00 UTC Reply

Into The Woods (Warehouse 13/Gravity Falls)

Pete peered out the windshield at what seemed to be a solid wall of trees. "That is the most green I have ever seen in my life," he murmured. "That's almost too much green. A green-pocalypse, if you will."

Myra did her best to ignore him as she drove. Pete had reached the "random nonsense" part of every long drive, where he just starting talking about whatever was on his mind as a distraction. Indulging him typically only gave her a headache. Not that it stopped him from trying.

"I mean, look at these things. If there was some kind of anti-Bob Ross, these are the kind of trees he'd paint." Pete paused. "Hey, do you think there are any Bob Ross artifacts in the—"

The Farnsworth mercifully buzzed. It took all of Myka's restraint not to vocally praise some higher power.

Pete flipped open the device, revealing Artie's face on the small black-and-white screen. "Hey Artie," he said. "Do we have any Bob Ross artifacts?"

"What? What are you…" Artie waved his hands around, like he was trying to clear cobwebs out of his face. "That's not important! Have you arrived at Gravity Falls yet?"

"Last sign I saw said we were about ten miles away," Myka interjected. "We should be arriving in a few minutes."

"Any idea what we're supposed to be looking for?" Pete asked.

Artie shook his head. "No, but I know a good place to start." He held up a handful of newspaper clippings. "Most of the strange sightings and occurrences involve the same family. Stan Pines and his great-niece and nephew. They run a little tourist trap on the outskirts of town called the Mystery Shack. And when I say 'tourist trap,' I'm only a few steps away from being literal. Place should be condemned if these photos are any indication."

Myka snorted. "The Mystery Shack? Is it as hokey as it seems?"

"Probably," Artie replied. "But there could also be an artifact hidden among those tchotchkes. Keep on your toes."

"You got it, boss," Pete said. The screen fizzled and went dark.

Myka shook her head. "The Mystery Shack," she repeated. "I can't help but feel a bit silly, going somewhere with that name."

"I don't know," Pete said. "It could actually be fun. I remember going to a few places like that when I was on road trips as a kid. They were cheesy, sure, but in a good way." He looked out the passenger window at the trees again. "Who's to say that… that…"

He trailed off.

"Pete?"

"Was that a garden gnome in that tree?"

~~~~~

Like I said in the subject line, this is debatably crack. But the idea got in my head and I just couldn't shake it.
I dunno if this is really crack, but... by Neshomeh on 2015-11-24 05:11:00 UTC Reply

Long ago, I had a plotbunny for a Harry Potter x Jekyll & Hyde crossover. Basically, the premise is that Jekyll's formula went wrong because some magical ingredients were dumped in a Muggle chemist's shop by a wizard on the run from Magical Law Enforcement for possession of said ingredients. At the end of his story, Jekyll doesn't die; instead, he finds his way into the Wizarding World and becomes a Hogwarts professor—DADA or Potions, I dunno.

Unfortunately, I have no idea what the rest of the story is. Unless I were to make it a modern spin on the Jekyll & Hyde story, it would have to be set in the late 1800s, which means I'd have to make up pretty much the entire cast. Dumbledore might be around somewhere, but I think he was probably busy with Grindelwald at the time. Point being, aside from Jekyll, the whole cast would be OCs, and that's a lot of work—not to mention the research involved in putting together a picture of what Hogwarts and the Wizarding World were like back then. Hence why I never wrote it.

If anyone wants to adopt the plotbunny and give it a good home, though, feel free. {= )

~Neshomeh

Ooh, that sounds interesting. by Huinesoron on 2015-11-24 10:00:00 UTC Reply

Did Jekyll know about Hyde in the original story? Because if not, I can imagine the plot centering around a group of students trying to track the monster roaming Hogwarts, with the enthusiastic help of their Potions Master... >:D

[The] Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde was published in 1886; Albus Dumbledore was born in summer 1881, apparently. So how about setting the story in 1892/3, and having Albus as a first-year student? :D

Actually, that assumes that Hogwarts used a 21st century British school age breakdown in the 19th century, which is... actually more solid than I thought. Per a random Google search, from 1870 children had to go to school from 5-10, which was raised to 11 in 1893; presumably, the Wizarding World let its children be taught to read etc at Muggle schools, then took over when they left. (This would explain why Hogwarts utterly fails to teach any of the standard subjects, such as, y'know, maths - its system comes from an age before there was any schooling after 11.)

So set it in 1893 - the year that Albus Dumbledore is a first-year student for the second year running, since he came in at 10 in '92 (which assumes a late summer birthday) and is now 11... which has just become the youngest age. :D That gives you internal conflict for the characters, a sense that they need to 'prove themselves' in some undefined fashion... and right on time, they hear rumours of a monster known only as the Hide.

hS

PS: Wow, and Dumbledore's family makes for prime drama. A loose-cannon sister (now all of eight years old) held effectively prisoner by his mother, a father in Azkaban for assaulting Muggles, a brother who's just been told he can't go to Hogwarts next year but will have to keep mingling with Muggles until the year after... shards and shells, this is prime story material. (No, I refuse to take it myself. Not my fandom.)

Er, sorry to burst your proverbial bubble, but yeah he did. by Scapegrace on 2015-11-24 18:27:00 UTC Reply

Edward Jekyll was deeply ashamed of who he was after drinking that potion, to the point where I wrote an essay on how it could be read as a critique of Victorian attitudes towards LGBT issues.

Look, I studied it in GCSE English, I got bored easily, alright? =]

Aw, well. by Huinesoron on 2015-11-24 20:33:00 UTC Reply

That was only a tiny chunk of my overall idea anyway. (The question is, then: would he admit it was him and try to help, or refuse to tell anyone and actually hinder the kids...?)

hS

He'd never admit it in a million years. by To The Scapemobile! on 2015-11-25 13:56:00 UTC Reply

Utterson literally had to hunt down Jekyll's secret sanctuary/laboratory and catch him in the act of transformation. Though he was a diarist, if memory serves... perhaps that could be the kids' in...

The Lord of the Stars (Starbucks x LotR) by Alleb on 2015-11-23 23:40:00 UTC Reply

Does that count? I think it should count. *grins*

------------------------------------------------------------------

The flavors are changed: I feel it in the milk, I feel it in the caramel, I smell it in the coffee beans... Much that once was is lost, for none now have the browser history to remember it.

It began with the blending of the Great Flavors: Caramel, Vanilla, and Mocha. These Three were given to the hipsters, out of the mainstream of time, coolest... fairest fashion sense of all beings.

Seven, to the Wrimos (but they were all too focused on their books to notice what they got), great writers and authors of the coffee shops.

And Nine...nine shots of espresso were gifted to the college students who, above all else, desire caffeine.

For within these flavors was bound the strength and the will to govern each coffee lover.

But they were, all of them, deceived; for another Flavor was made.

In the land of Starbucks, in the fields of coffee beans,
the Dark Barista Sauron blended, in secret, a master flavor.

And into this flavor he poured his cruelty, his malice
and his will to dominate all flavors of coffee.

One flavor to rule them all.

One flavor to find them.

One flavor to bring them all,

And in the darkness bind them.

Pumpkin Spice...

---------------------------------------------------------------

If that's not crack, I don't know what is.

-Alleb

... :D by Huinesoron on 2015-11-24 09:39:00 UTC Reply

"Above all else, Frodo, you must never drink the One Flavour."

Frodo nodded, but his eyes were drawn back to the steaming cup. Turning slightly to stay out of Gandalf's sight, he drew in a long, slow breath through his nose.

"Frodo Baggins!" Frodo jumped as Gandalf suddenly loomed tall and dark in front of him. "What did I just say?"

"But Gandalf," Frodo said, gazing longingly at the mug of Pumpkin Spice coffee, "it smells so good."

"And that is its power." Gandalf seemed to shrink in weariness. "And if you drink of it, the scent will linger on you... and there are those who will sense it." He lowered his voice, as if the very words could summon dark powers. "They were college students once, before the Dark Barista twisted them with promises of espresso..."

hS

I love this thing. by Alleb on 2015-11-24 23:58:00 UTC Reply

"I do not doubt the deliciousness of your coffee shop. But the world is changing. The tastes of Minas Tirith's Coffee and Cream Company(TM) may be strong, but they are not strong enough. If they fail, what then?"

"We shall caffeine crash valiantly. Yet there is still hope that it will not fail."

"No hope while the Pumpkin Spice lasts," said Frodo.

"Ah! The Pumpkin Spice!" said Boromir, his eyes lighting. "The One Flavor! Is it not a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt for so small a cup? So small a cup! And I have smelled it only for an instant in the house of Elrond. Could I not have the scent of it again?"

Frodo looked up. His heart went suddenly cold, despite the warm travel mug in his hands. He caught the strange gleam in Boromir’s eyes, yet his face was still kind and friendly. "It is best that it should remain covered," he answered.

---------------------------------------------------------------

I make no claim to the text: I tweaked the original to make it cracky. XD I think this is the weirdest thing I've ever written.

-Alleb

Minor tweak: by Alleb on 2015-11-25 00:00:00 UTC Reply

Cafe of Elrond, rather than house.

-Alleb

PUBLISH THIS THING. PLEASE. by Silenthunder on 2015-11-26 15:49:00 UTC Reply

I"m dying of laughter over here. This is absolute genius!

Dresden Files x Fate/Stay Night by Tira on 2015-11-23 22:14:00 UTC Reply

Molly had mentioned that her penpal was from Japan, so I was pretty surprised when a clearly Caucasian girl answered the door to their hotel room. She looked like nothing so much as Murphy's kid sister - cute, petite, blonde, and probably capable of kicking my ass five ways to Sunday. "You are Molly Carpenter and Harry Dresden, correct?" she said in a calm, serious voice that gave me vaguely Vulcan vibes. Her accent was some variant of British; I'm not exactly up on my BBC, so anything more precise than that is beyond me.

Molly looked a little awkward, but not too surprised. "That's us. You're Saber, right? Rin's told me a lot about you."

Saber nodded, and gave Molly a reassuring smile. "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." She shook hands with me, crossing the rather hastily-erected ward on the room in the process, and I got a feel of her...aura, I suppose. The amount of power coming off her was incredible. It wasn't so much that she had a massive amount of magical energy; it felt more like she was completely composed of it. From the Padawan's wide-eyed expression, she'd gotten the same thing. "Rin and Shirou are still preparing themselves," the girl continued, "although I believe it would be more accurate to say they are both preparing Shirou. Please, come inside."

We followed her into the main room of their suite. Molly and I took seats on the couch, and Saber excused herself to go get the others. "Who's Shirou?" I whispered to Molly, once we were alone.

"Rin's boyfriend," she said, barely paying attention to the question.

"And Saber, or whatever she's called?"

Molly looked troubled. "...Based on the sense I got from her letters, Rin's girlfriend. But she didn't mention anything about... that."

"Yeah, I'd imagine that's not the kind of thing you casually mention... wait, what?" Okay, so it was probably a lot less relevant to the situation than everything else going on, but there are certain things a man isn't allowed to overlook.

Molly shrugged. "It sounded complicated. I didn't poke too hard."

"Molly?" called an unfamiliar female voice. The speaker this time looked slightly more like what I'd pictured in my head, an Asian girl around the same age as Molly. Though I hadn't expected the short skirt and thigh-high socks to exist outside of it.

Molly broke into a grin. "Rin!" She stood up and hugged the other girl, who returned it with rather less enthusiasm.

"Ah, and you're Mr. Dresden, right?" she said to me in accented but clear English.

"Yeah. Nice to meet a friend of Molly's."

She smiled politely and shook my hand. "I could say the same thing about you."

"Oi, Tohsaka. Is this them?" A boy of about the same age as Rin came out of their room, wearing a dress shirt and a slightly grumpy expression. He might have looked pretty average, but I got the sense that he was a lot tougher than you'd think at first glance. I wouldn't be surprised if he could hold out for a few minutes against the Summer or Winter Knight.

The blonde girl they'd called Saber... I'd be surprised if one of the Knights could hold out for a few minutes against her.

Which raised the question of how exactly Molly's penpal got involved with someone that high on the scale of powerful magical beings. And what kind of problem they had that would require us to help out with.

***

Okay, so the various setting mechanics (not to mention timelines) probably mean that such a crossover wouldn't work very well, but I just want to see the characters interact. I'm not sure what the actual plot would be; probably something involving the Knights of the Cross, since it's a good excuse to bring in Shirou's ~~sword fetish~~ specific talents. Mandatory is a bit where the female characters all commiserate on exactly what sort of idiocy they have to put up with on a daily basis from Shirou and Harry.

Oh my god I love you so much by Rin on 2015-11-24 00:31:00 UTC Reply

Like seriously you have no idea these are literally my two favorite fandoms ohmigosh.

...wow, you actually got a fangirl moment out of me. Colour me impressed.

Thank you! by Tira on 2015-11-24 00:53:00 UTC Reply

I'm glad you liked it. I'm a big fan of both, myself, as you could probably tell, and I think it would be fun to see the characters interact with each other.

My go! My go! =D by Scapegrace on 2015-11-23 13:30:00 UTC Reply

REALLY? (The Secret World of Alex Mack X Worm)

I stared at her. She stared back.

As powers went, she had it pretty much made. It was a really unconventional Trump mix (insofar as you got conventional Trump mixes); lightning bolts, a transformation into goop, and telekinesis that didn't have a Manton limit that we'd been able to find. I really didn't know why she hadn't gone into the cape game with powers like that. Hell, any Wards team worth their salt would be climbing over each other to get her on the team. But nope, here she was, staring me down in a van in San Francisco, the last place I could run.

Crushed as I was between Bitch's slowly deflating dogs, and as much as I was really not okay with small metal spaces like the van we'd hired, today had been a good day. Tattletale was sat next to me, Regent had somehow managed to lounge in the back of a speeding van, we'd beaten up a local gang of street thugs and we had a lot of their loot as working capital for the next few days. Everything had gone off completely without a hitch. And then there was the new girl, in a makeshift costume and a frankly godawful hat (Regent kept calling it the condom cap), but she'd proved really useful in a fight. It turned out that people were much easier for Regent to control if she gave them a quick jolt first, which was very useful for us, and that her goop state was semi-invulnerable.

"So," she said, "how'd you get your powers?"

I winced. I could remember having this exact same lack-of-conversation with the other Undersiders back in the day. Tattletale opened her mouth and then, in the shock of the year, closed it again. Then she spoke.

"How'd you get yours, newbie?"

"Huh. Funny story, actually. I was just going to school and I got soaked in this stuff called GC-161 when a truck hit me. The local factory was--"

"REALLY?" Tattletale all but screamed. Grue slammed on the brakes and we all rattled around inside the van for a bit. "[Censored for the Board]ing REALLY? A [see previous censorship]ing diet pill?"

I couldn't help it. I echoed Tattletale's thoughts.

Parallel universes had all the luck.
PPC/military action thriller. by JulyFlame on 2015-11-23 13:23:00 UTC Reply

...Wait a second.
___

On an actually crackpot one I've got in process somewhere, I've DC Comics (specifically Batman's corner of the universe) crossing over with Codex Alera.

Alas, that I don't have access to things currently, so you'll have take my word for it.

Can't you give us a taste of it? by Huinesoron on 2015-11-23 16:26:00 UTC Reply

Are we talking Codex Batman (millionaire playboy High Lord is secret vigilante) or Furies of Gotham (exactly what it sounds like) here?

hS

Well, most fortuitituously... by JulyFlame on 2015-11-24 16:26:00 UTC Reply

I was able to locate it.

It's a good few years old at this point and kinda rubbish because I never got around to poking at it further.

Professor Layton and Pho-wait that actually happened by Cattomboy/Jebboy on 2015-11-23 13:08:00 UTC Reply

Yep PL vs PW was a crossover I loved to see become a reality. Even if I don't have it myself.

As for other crossovers I'd love to see but can't write about very well on an iPad they are really just silly ones.
I want to see a good Assissans Creed crossover with Hamilton the Broadway show. Or even Assissans Creed meets Liberty Kids just to see how'd it would turn out. Assissans Creed with any history based series would be nice. Anything Layton Brothers Mystery room related would be cool too.

If you are serious about the Lord of the rings crossover with southern politics I have a book about some Rebels' journey to Mexico where they attempted to create a second US south that could be interesting to see.

Hmm. by GlarnBoudin on 2015-11-26 03:12:00 UTC Reply

As someone who watched the Liberty's Kids series when they were young, I can safely say that a crossover with Assassin's Creed would be amazing, although it would be awesome seeing the Magic School Bus go all over time and meeting all of the various assassins. Bonus points if the guy whose genetic memories we've been going over for the whole series tags along.

Jurassic Gods, no way! by Matt Cipher 8O on 2015-11-23 12:17:00 UTC Reply

It's so... beautiful, I cried! :D

Also, completely off-top... whenever I see something related to the 'Jurassic' series, I need to post THIS! (NSFW)
OT Jurassic World subthread (spoilers) by Huinesoron on 2015-11-23 12:02:00 UTC Reply

Obviously, given the events of the Jurassic World film, the park will be shut down... right? I mean, all those guests saw the nasty vicious meat-eating dinosaurs escape and kill everyone, right?

Well, actually... no. Thinking back on it, the only escape the visitors saw was the aviary. They never knew about the I. rex, or the raptors loose in the field. They were all gone long before the final battle, so they have no idea about that, either. With the exception of the main cast (who can be silenced pretty easily if necessary) and the staff of the park/InGen personnel (ditto), all anyone knows - or needs to know - is this:

-The owner of the park, Simon Masrani, took up a park helicopter without his trainer, even though he wasn't a qualified pilot.

-On that flight, he managed to lose control and crash into the aviary, breaking some of the panels.

-This allowed the Pteranodon and Dimorphodon to escape and flock to the visitors' area.

Yes, there were casualties. If Masrani had survived, he would definitely be facing criminal prosecution (say the park's new administrators). It isn't the pterosaurs' fault, of course - they're just wild animals - but they have been a concern since the original park, and this incident proves that they simply aren't fit to be used as an attraction. Jurassic World will therefore be relocating the entire flock to a secondary site, to live out their lives in humane conditions. The aviary site will be used for a thrilling new attraction: a rollercoaster-slash-monorail through the domain of the feathered, flying dinosaurs, Microraptor and Archaeopteryx! (These dinosaurs are far too small to attack humans, and anyway, the aviary will be reinforced and designated an absolute no-fly zone.)

Any rumours you may have heard of Godzilla-like murderous hybrids are exactly what they sound like - sensationalist sci-fi nonsense made up by the gutter press to sell papers. As for that purported 'footage' - really? My kid can make CG better than that on his iPhone, and he's 11 (says the PR rep, trying for a laugh from the reporters).

We will be using the down-time to undertake a full review of all our security precautions, despite the fact that - I must stress again - not a single one of them failed during the recent incident. And let me tell you about some of the great new ideas our techies have come up with! Do you wanna see T. rex hunting its goats on the open plain? Yeah, I just bet you do...

This concludes the statement from the Jurassic World marketing board. The park administration has refused to answer further questions about the presence of armed forces on Isla Nublar, or the unexplained death toll among park employees during the cleanup following the incident...

(Sadly, I doubt they'll be re-opening the park for the next film - it's a story we've just told, so there would be very little point. But I can't see a fundamental reason they couldn't... can you?)

hS

Better yet... by GlarnBoudin on 2015-11-23 17:49:00 UTC Reply

Why not create a trio of dinosaurs that generally haven't been popular in the media: Deinocheirus, Therizinosaurus, and Gigantoraptor. The names of these guys alone would definitely draw guests in, and the sheer weirdness of them will also contribute to their "wow" factor.

As for the monorail, why stop there? Throw in the bat-winged miniature dragon, Yi qi, and the tiny flying theropod Rahonavis! Heck, why not add the ancestor of Triceratops, Psittacosaurus, the feathered titan Beipaiosaurus, and the platypus of the dinosaur world, Chilesaurus?

Miss the idea of the old park? Don't worry! As of now, Brachiosaurus and Sauroposeidon are roaming the Gyrosphere Plain! (Temporary name; the idea of gyrospheres is now being scrapped in favor of a monorail system for additional security. The absence of the Apatosaurus can be explained away as a disease outbreak and/or replaced by new ones.) Furthermore, we'll be adding several more herbivorous dinosaurs: the titans Shantungasaurus, and Charonosaurus, the peaceful Corythosaurus, the lords of horns, Coahuilaceratops and Rubeosaurus, and the hippo of dinosaurs, Lurdusaurus!

We haven't forgotten those looking for a dash of danger: our new Crocodile Swamp features the three largest crocodilians to ever live: Deinosuchus, Purussaurus, and Sarcosuchus!

Yeah, I'm going all-out, if you can't tell.

That would be awesome. ^_^ by Huinesoron on 2015-11-24 11:06:00 UTC Reply

Though I see you've spent a bit of time in the Triassic here, with Yi Qi and... er... okay, I was guessing the crocodilians were Triassic, but apparently not. Hrm. I actually know very little about the Triassic - pretty much 'what showed up on that one episode of Walking With Dinosaurs (aka Procompsognathus-or-something, Plateosaurus, cynodonts, a crocodilian, and... some lumpen things which existed to show how fast dinosaurs are). But I'm starting to get the impression it was a pretty bonkers period. I mean, it had Longisquama, that's pretty mad.

I do wonder if InGen even can clone Triassic beasties, though. We know they get some of their DNA from bones - it's mentioned in the original book - but there's a massive difference between 66 and 200+ Ma. Has anyone put together a temporal map of the species in the JP films, to see if there's any pattern? (I'm guessing there isn't, but am willing to be surprised).

Actually, low availability of DNA might explain the 'let's make a toothosaurus' plan. It's all very well saying 'just breed a Concavenator!', but if they've only got the (hang on, let me check the wiki) twenty species seen in the films (plus some fragments for I. rex), then they don't have that many options... and it's a good way to make use of those chunks of Gigantosaurus and Therazinosaurus DNA they've got that they can't make viable animals out of.

In fact, given that (other than the T. rex baseline and Velociraptor for intelligence) none of the species listed as used for the I. rex are seen in the park, I think that's a really good theory.

hS

PS: The 'dinosaurs' seen in the films, according to the wiki, are - brachiosaurus, dilophosaurus, gallimimus, parasaurolophus, triceratops, t. rex, velociraptor, compsognathus, corythosaurus, edmontosaurus, mamenchisaurus, pachycephalosaurus, pteranodon, stegosaurus, ankylosaurus, ceratosaurus, spinosaurus, apatosaurus, dimorphodon, mosasaurus. Since I wrote them down in making this post anyway. ~hS

*Grabs minis* by GlarnBoudin on 2015-11-25 17:01:00 UTC Reply

You need to capitalize and italicize scientific names. (As a side note, how do I write in different fonts?)

Yes, yes. by Huinesoron on 2015-11-25 17:07:00 UTC Reply

I scribbled them down to count them, then put them in for your benefit; I should've known I'd get nitpicked. ;) Not that any of yours have been italicised... <i>Like this,</i> if that's what you're asking.

hS

Yeah, that is true. *Scoops up more minis* by GlarnBoudin on 2015-11-26 02:28:00 UTC Reply

Thanks for the advice on the fonts, though. Hoo boy, we're going to have a lot of new minis by the time this is over.

Note: If Indominus rex is part Tyrannosaurus, would that mean that a mini of it would be a mini-Indominus or a mini-T. rex?

Oh yeah. by GlarnBoudin on 2015-11-24 18:08:00 UTC Reply

The Triassic was NUTS. Giant tyrannosaur-sized bipedal land-crocs, a flying reptile with wings for legs, zipper-jawed sea reptiles: basically, it's like evolution got drunk. (Also, Yi qi is from the Jurassic.)

Concerning the DNA, there is another option: recreating the species either with creatures they already have or with modern animals. Tanystropheus, for instance, could probably be made with snake and lizard DNA, with just a hint of Mosasaurus.

Concerning the DNA problem, they have several more samples than that: another mosasaur, Metriacanthosaurus, Baryonyx, Microceratus, Suchomimus, Herrerasaurus, and Troodon. While they aren't in any of the films, official sites and games have them.

You have a point, but it's already pretty clear that Ingen is capable of manipulating DNA to do whatever with it. Need a Therizinosaurus and don't have the DNA? Just take a Gallimimus and alter its genetics-they do have at least a bit of Therizinosaurus, because the I-rex has been confirmed to have its DNA to make the arms. But even if they don't do that, they definitely have the funds to find more genetic material-the fake website Universal made even hints that they have mammoth DNA.

Yi qi is Jurassic? by Huinesoron on 2015-11-25 10:52:00 UTC Reply

Well, colour me surprised. (It's a sort of orangey shade of purple, I think.) I figured it was a Triassic weirdo for sure.

I kind of wonder whether a lot of InGen's critters aren't hybrids anyway. Can you honestly tell me Velociraptor baldandtallis isn't a hybrid of V. mongoliensis and some larger therapod, maybe even T. rex itself? But on the flip side... how much of their work is planned, and how much is just 'throwing science at the wall to see what sticks'? In the second book, someone (Malcolm?) says that most InGen dinosaur eggs don't actually produce viable creatures - the hatchery sequence in the first book/film was carefully stage-managed, using the few viable eggs produced on Site B. So was I. rex just the first toothy hybrid that survived to grow up? I can imagine the conversation now:

MASRANI: So, Dr. Wu, how's the work going on that fake Therizinosaurus you promised us? Let me tell you, our investors are eager to know what you've got lined up.

WU: There have been... a few small problems.

MASRANI: Problems, Henry? You said you'd have a new dinosaur for me by the end of this quarter; am I going to have to tell our investors we can't deliver?

WU: Not at all! You may simply have to... adjust their expectations a little.

MASRANI: ... go on.

WU: The Gallimimus and Therizinosaurus DNA did not... combine well. We had to look for a new base material.

MASRANI: But we don't have any other-

WU: We used Tyrannosaurus.

MASRANI: ... okay.

WU: And Velociraptor. We needed to increase the stability of the beta-oriented-

MASRANI: Sure, sure.

WU: There were a few other components as well.

MASRANI: But Henry... did it work?

WU: If by that you mean, did we make a therizinosaur? No.

MASRANI: Henry, Henry... what am I going to tell the investors?

WU: That we have something better. Something special. Something never before seen on Earth.

[Dr. Wu pushes aside the curtain, revealing a man-sized white therapod with giant claws and spines, tearing ravenously at a hunk of cow.]

WU: I call her... Indominus rex.

I'm pretty sure that contradicts the film canon, but I had fun writing it, so who cares? :P

(Also, the various mutant hybrids in Dr. Wu's lab suggest that he's still learning to control the process properly.)

hS

Well... by GlarnBoudin on 2015-11-25 16:56:00 UTC Reply

If you want a weird Triassic flier, look up Sharovipteryx.

Concerning the raptors, I think the same way: my bet is that the raptors were made from incomplete Velociraptor DNA that was also contaminated with Gallimimus and Achillobator genes, so Deinonychus genes were used to fill in the gaps, with some Utahraptor accidentally being thrown in as well. T-rex is also likely to have been thrown in, but maybe some Dakotaraptor genetics were introduced as well by complete accident.

Which reminds me: in the early days of their being known to science, both Therizinosaurus and Deinocheirus were believed to be large theropods with some of the most terrifying arms in existance. Maybe Wu was partially inspired by them when he made the Indominus?

(As a note, I think that having two theropods like that would make an awesome movie, especially if they worked as a team.)

What you just said... by Huinesoron on 2015-11-25 17:04:00 UTC Reply

... is that Velociraptor brokenwristor consists of up to seven feathered species, somehow still producing an unfeathered critter. From a Real World perspective, Henry Wu is terrible at his job. ^_^ (No, we didn't know that any of those were feathered when JP was written/made - but the bones knew, as it were. Not picking on the films here, just the character.)

Aw, man, Deinocheirus. Am I the only one who think that Deinocheirus was way cooler as a pair of gigantic skeletal arms than as even the wackiest Hunchback of Notre Duck? It was annoying that we didn't know what it looked like, but at the same time, it was one of the most iconic fossils around, on a par with the Archaeopteryx specimens and that Velociraptor/Protoceratops fight.

Still, at least the London NHM is terrible at change, so they'll probably keep the Deinocheirus arms hanging on the wall for a few decades yet.

hS

Well... by GlarnBoudin on 2015-11-26 02:26:00 UTC Reply

There is the frog DNA, and most likely some crocodile and monitor lizard as well: in one of the deleted scenes for the kitchen scene in the first film, one of the raptors had a snakelike tongue, so I'm guessing that there's some squamate DNA in there.

Personally, I liked the Ornithomimid Ground Sloth version of it-although granted, it was also the only one I was ever really exposed to growing up. However, there is another giant ornithomimid that's a bit more conservative in its appearance-it's called Beishanlong, and it's only a little bit smaller than Deinocheirus.

Wait, the London NHM has a pair?! So does the American Museum of Natural History in New York! I practically grew up in that museum, and I remember always bringing people to those arms and being smug when they couldn't guess what it was. Considering that they're the guys who were behind the expedition that found it, it's not that surprising, but I guess that it makes snese that it hasn't changed on my side of the ocean: the Museum only has so much space in the dinosaur hall. Another T. rex-sized animal definitely wouldn't be able to fit, although there is going to be an expansion soon that's gonna be big enough for a full-sized Dreadnoughtus skeleton, so maybe we'll see a restoration of the real-life Crocoduck as well.

Note: Is is weird that I take an abnormal amount of joy in the fact that there are now three different extinct animals that could be called Crocoducks? (Sigilmassasaurus/Spinosaurus, Deinocheirus, Anatosuchus) Suck it, Ray Comfort!

The thing that bothered me about the pterosaur sequence by doctorlit on 2015-11-23 14:21:00 UTC Reply

is that it depicted two species that are strongly suspected to be fish-snatchers and specialized small animal-eaters, respectively, and had them go full horror movie mode on a huge, screaming crowd of animals roughly their own size. Imagine modern condors escaping a zoo enclosure and bull rushing a huge crowd instead of being frightened by the noise and size of the "herd" and running away. (I know condors are more scavenger than predator, but I also know from seeing certain zookeepers with big gashes down their arms that at least my zoo's Andean condor isn't afraid of a one-on-one fight with an equalish sized animal. I still don't think he would take on a group of thousands, especially if he had just found himself in new, unfamiliar territory.) Animals try to avoid fights, because injuries don't lend themselves well to procreating. Self-preservation is a number one instinct!

Plus, (I'll admit, depending on their senses of smell and hearing), the Pterandon in particular would have been far more likely to head north towards the sea, where the tasty fishes, precious, would be found, rather than charge down the mainland towards an increasingly noisy and intimidating crowd of humans. And that's to say nothing about the fact that both flocks of both species all went the same direction. Wouldn't they spread out and search for nesting sites?

As to your theory, I'm sure InGen will try it. I don't know that they can keep it covered up very long, though. Out of all the families of all the employees killed by Velociraptor or the Indominus Rex, at least some will demand to see the bodies, and it doesn't take a fifth grader to tell the difference between beak bites and six foot jaw bites. Plus, let's not forget the two biggest sources of leakage: two teenage boys. Older Boy in particular, with his wandering eyes, will tell pretty much any girl he's trying to impress about what happened. The facts will escape, eventually.

—doctorlit realizes Older Boy probably has a name, but only seems to remember dinosaur names. Oh well.

Oh, absolutely. by Huinesoron on 2015-11-23 14:53:00 UTC Reply

And Dimorphodon doesn't have a Velociraptor jurassicparkus skull, either. I think it's abundantly clear that Dr. Wu has engaged in genetic manipulation on a far greater scale than he admits. Probably half the creatures in Jurassic World are hybrids - the mosacroc, the pteroraptors, the raptorgators themselves...

The main theory I've seen about the 'pterosaur KILL' thing is that they were stressed and panicking, which causes animals to lash out. Which doesn't exactly explain flying long-distance to the visitors' centre... and doesn't ring terribly true regardless. Perhaps the wind was blowing the scent of burgers from the south?

[Puts on InGen/Masrati hat] Our deepest sympathies are with the families of those employees whose lives were lost during the recent incident. While the possibility of fatal injury was included in their contracts, none of us ever expected such a terrible loss of life. Unfortunately, many of the bodies were severely damaged while attempting to contain the incident inside the aviary itself - falling glass, pterosaur feeding habits, one regrettable firearms accident, and the generally untamed nature of the area all contributing - and to avoid alarming the loved ones of our employees, it was deemed best to cremate the bodies on-site.

[Alternately, some waffle about tropical/pterosaur diseases could be constructed, provided it can be done in such a way as not to make the visitors think they could be infected.]

We have all heard the stories spread by two relatives of the disgraced former assistant director, Redhead Highheels. While we are sure Zack and Notzack were deeply traumatised by their unauthorised excursion into prohibited areas of the park, the sad fact is that that is exactly what they were doing. It is entirely natural that they should wish to spin the tale into something 'larger than life', as it were - why talk about the majestic Ankylosaurus when you can claim to have met Indominus rex - or, to hear them talk, Diabolus godzillex! [Pause for laughter] But what can I say - boys will be boys, eh?

In entirely unrelated news, the opening of Verizon presents Indominus rex has been postponed until after the results of the security review have been thoroughly processed. [Because 'indefinite postponement' is far easier to swing than 'cancelled'.]

Then you get your CG team to mock up some fake videos of about six different, mutually-contradictory 'REAL Jurassic World incident's, plus a few 'eyewitness accounts' which disagree with them all, and leak them through untraceable assets, so that any evidence of the original gets subsumed under the tide of viral nonsense. ^_^

hS, expecting the letter from InGen any day now...

TouchÃ©, hS. by doctorlit on 2015-11-23 20:15:00 UTC Reply

Your understanding of media manipulation is superior to mine. I suspect, in-universe, the events of Jurassic World will be relegated to "crazy conspiracy theory."

—doctorlit