Subject: Permission granted.
Author:
Posted on: 2015-11-05 16:48:00 UTC
...
... what, you wanted more?
From looking over Iximaz's comments last time, she raised the following points:
-Aiko's personality in the profile. Seemed fine to me this time, and more importantly, her personality in the stories was consistent. Profiles are meant to be there to catch big things, not to be detailed.
-Henry's training. Changed.
-SPG. Nothing really hit me here, so passed.
-The writing. Your writing is still not the best it could be. Your second sentence in prompt #1 has 'this place' and 'that place' clashing quite badly, you have Henry talk about 'another Potterverse fic' without explaining why a new agent should know about any fics at all, you say he waited a few minutes for people to open the door. Etcetera.
But... y'know what, Permission isn't meant to be an 'are you a perfect writer filter'. It's supposed to be 'can you spell and do you know how not to write flaming Suvians'. Which you pass. Now you get to improve your writing by... well... writing.
hS