Subject: Yah, something like that.
Author:
Posted on: 2015-11-06 12:51:00 UTC
Just a simple edit should do it:
It reminded him a little of a foreign Wizarding school in another Potterverse fic he’d heard about in training, where the pathways to the classrooms changed constantly.
hS
Welcome to my third (and hopefully final) Permission attempt. As they say, three times is the charm, but I will let you be the judge of wheter this proves to be the case here, obviously.
Agents Aiko Kimura and Henry Asclepte from RC# 1822
Permission Prompts
" Stop right there, Rini's Horrible Death! You have caused Serena, a loving mother, to torture and murder Rini, her much beloved daughter, in cold blood. For that, In the Name of Canon, I shall punish you! "
I would like to offer a special thanks to eatpraylove, for being my beta throught this whole process. I also would like to thank Dorano and SillyPhilly, for all the help and advice provided. Finally, even though he wasn't able to help much this time around due to real life getting in the way, I would like to thank SkarmorySilver for the lots of help provided last time around. I would never gotten this far without you guys. :D
...
... what, you wanted more?
From looking over Iximaz's comments last time, she raised the following points:
-Aiko's personality in the profile. Seemed fine to me this time, and more importantly, her personality in the stories was consistent. Profiles are meant to be there to catch big things, not to be detailed.
-Henry's training. Changed.
-SPG. Nothing really hit me here, so passed.
-The writing. Your writing is still not the best it could be. Your second sentence in prompt #1 has 'this place' and 'that place' clashing quite badly, you have Henry talk about 'another Potterverse fic' without explaining why a new agent should know about any fics at all, you say he waited a few minutes for people to open the door. Etcetera.
But... y'know what, Permission isn't meant to be an 'are you a perfect writer filter'. It's supposed to be 'can you spell and do you know how not to write flaming Suvians'. Which you pass. Now you get to improve your writing by... well... writing.
hS
Thank you so much, Lovey! I couldn't have done this without you. I mean, do you remember the state my writings were in before you beta'ed them the first time around? XD
Also, I know you got a mission of your own in the workins right now, but some time from now, would consider betaing my first mission? My target is a SM bleepfic and I remember from my original introduction that you know the canon.
I'm probably going to use the first prompt as the basis for either an interlude set prior their first mission or the pre-mission section of the aforementioned mission. As such, I want to fix the problems you mentioned. Now, two of them were mostly technical issues I should be able to resolve quite easily. So I want to talk about the problem with the reference.
Now, I know it's a bit unorthodox to mention a fic other than the badfic being sporked, specially, as in this case, when it's goodfic.But Henry had to go through at least some Agent Training, even if it was for woefully short time. So I hope it's not unreasonable to assume that he had time to hear about at least one goodfic from his home continuum. I mean, he theoritically would have had the time to pick up some fanons aside from HP, so why not throw in a HP fic in there as well?
Would an explanation in that vein suffice? And if not, would you any suggestions for one that would work? Or should I just throw this reference out?
Just a simple edit should do it:
It reminded him a little of a foreign Wizarding school in another Potterverse fic he’d heard about in training, where the pathways to the classrooms changed constantly.
hS
Really, thank you so much, for there's no doubt the that help you provided me with during last time around was a large part of the reason that I even got this far.
I'm very pleased that I got it this time, so yes, that's MORE than enough for me. Just the fact that you now consider me good enough to write a PPC spin-off makes me VERY happy. :D
It's in no small part thanks to you that I got this far. The feedback you gave during my last attempt was very helpful. :)
Get this special gift: a exhaustive, self-updating guide of all the deathtraps in the multiverse.
Smite the glitterbags with the Ironic Overpower.
Good luck for your spinoff.
I'm sure that guide will prove itself to be quite useful. I'm going now, because there's a Replacement!Serena that's just begging to be assassinated.