Subject: What Wattpad Actually Is...
Author:
Posted on: 2015-10-28 02:56:00 UTC
"Are Fanfiction.net's standards just too high for you hou ha haaa! Ha ha ha ha ha! HAAAAA-
It's okay, you can go practice your writing skills on Wattpad!" -JelloApocalypse
So, I was chilling on Wattpad like a baller, looking at the stuff my friends read, and I saw a french story called "Differences". Wondering just what it was, I gave it a quick glance. It changed my life. Here is the translation of the first chapter (I tried to adapt spelling mistakes as well as possible).
"Hello I'm called Myranda Rosmarie Dragomir Ataouai (mymy for my friends). I am 1.75 meters tall and I have long ginger hair that fall down below my ass. I also have beautiful dazzling green eye!!!! (she do an effects the firt time they see me). I am 16 --' and I am what we call a "genius". A genius with just the right curves.
I dance and I do professional soccer ;) Ha! And I'm a demon! (in the real sense!!! At least, that's what people think
In reality, I am a mix between an angel, a demon, a werewof and an elf. I am a Shynygamie (a mix of all there exists in the world). So I'm prettys dang strong! Well!
Enough about me! the story begins with me and my gang about 3-4 months after the beginning of class. Have fun!"
Ladies and gentlemen, assassins and untanglers, I present to you the new definition of the Mary Sue. Step aside Ebony!
... What are you talking about? This is the best story ever! The plot is so original and captivating, with an incredible amount of worldbuilding, the characters are so realistic and deep, and the shocking revelation at the end of the last chapter was completely unexpected! Not to mention the incredibly well done formatting!
I just can't wait to see more of the adventures of... Huh, it's weird, whenever I try to remember her name, I keep coming up with "Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way." Ah, whatever.
Whoever sporks this thing is gonna get a medal! I'll make a virtual one.
BUT WHAT IS THIS? Ebony, you got competition, gal! Never ever thought i'd say that...
I really don't even have a reaction to that level of sueishness. All I know is that flamethrowers can solve a great many problems. A great many problems indeed.
I've been told you're a Returnbie - hi, I'm Dorano. Have some Bloffee!
(Also - sweet Eru that is one atrocious 'Sue!)
Welcome back Returnbie, I will now roll for your complementary Space Ninja Set.
You got a Limbo, Sancti Tigris, Atomos, and Atterax. All of these are quiet awesome weapons in game. I also used Limbo's "Banish" ability in the title blurb thing.
I think we have to make a page for Wattpad now. I even thought of a funny PPC nickname for it: "The Litter Box." (Also, I'm told you're a returnbie. Hi! Here's half a case of Bleeprin. I think you'll need it.)
Thanks for the Bleeprin! It smells like the outside of a morgue... Meh, it takes what it takes.
Please accept this starter Pokémon:
Iiiiiiit's Musharna!
And your starting item:-
Solar Bracer from Darkest Dungeon
Now, the Solar Bracer is a very, very good item... on sun team 'mons. It's basically a much bigger boost, with it boosting the damage output of damaging beam moves by 50%, or by 75% in sunlight. Musharna, however, doesn't learn a lot of moves that can effectively utilize it, but what it does learn is Trick Room. Try a set utilizing that on a Sun team, with Psybeam, Charge Beam, and Signal Beam as the remaining moves. Charge Beam's a really good move for this set, but it does mean you're vulnerable to Ground-type switchins. Still, it's worth a try, so enjoy! =]
Like, seriously. It sets up Sun automatically and gets Solar Beam. You have no hope or dreams against him with that item.
Ban with Mega-Ray now smogon plz
But Grass is absolute garbage as an attacking type, Ninetales is super squishy, and Solar Beam is pretty much the only viable move Ninetales has access to that benefits from Solar Bracer. A lot of common OU threats outspeed and OHKO, and a lot of the ones that don't can easily tank a non-STAB Grass-type move, even one with a redonkulous BP. =]
... I guess. I haven't really been here for long. Have one of these Non-Euclidean Cookies! You might want to eat them without looking at them too much.
Also, wow. I actually kinda want to read this... Oh, wait, apparently, you need to have a Wattpad account. Too bad, I guess.
"Are Fanfiction.net's standards just too high for you hou ha haaa! Ha ha ha ha ha! HAAAAA-
It's okay, you can go practice your writing skills on Wattpad!" -JelloApocalypse
Nice to see you back! Take a plate of welcome-back SPaGhetti!
Well, well, well... glad you've decided to join the insanity! :D As I did not see a question for a preferable pronoun, I'm gonna ask it right now!
As for your gift... umm... hold on... *checks his pockets* Ah, shoot, it seems all the Heads That Are Always Screaming are gone... well, okay, we'll do this one.
Have a slice of Infinite Pizza.
Smelling the Internet is definitely a useful skill if I may say so. I'm a "he", but I also accept being referred to as "The Best in This Room", no matter how false that may be.
Also, let me ask you a question: if the number of pizza in that pizza is infinites but the pizzas on earth havent been eated, what is the point of infiniting an infinite pizza if we cant even eat infinites pizzas?
Yes, I'm also a drunk philosopher in my free time.
Uuuhh... um...
.
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.
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Why does everything smell like copper...?
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.
.
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Oh... that's why.
My faith in humanity just got dropped in an Sphere of Annihilation. Sporking this just became an obligation, would you kindly post the link to... this? Oh, and what's the fandom?
It's not exactly a part of any fandom. Technically, it has references to real life people (A.K.A people from her/my school) but it's not written as a fanfiction.
In any case, it's in french, and I'm not sure if I have the courage to translate it all.
Here's the link:https://www.wattpad.com/story/26429437-diff%C3%A9rences
It's either an original work or a RPF and we can't touch neither of those.
I know, I just wanted to share it with the world, and since it was just begging to be put here...
There is no shortage of Canon Sues in the world, after all. We can't do anything about any of them, but we can vent and rant about them.
Get some special black coffee. It's normal that it's sucking up light, don't worry about it. Did you read the Original Series and the Constitution, and what are your fandoms?
Welcome to the PPC! Sanity, as you might have noticed, is optional.
The Original Series and Constitution are required reads; we also have a spiffy Wiki to which you should turn before asking any questions (we like people who do the research). Links are on top of the Board.
To answer your unasked question, it looks like you've encountered another Egogy knockoff. For some reason people keep ripping Enoby off; maybe they think it's funny.
And, last but not least — have this cup of Earl Grey tea. Leaves aren't predatory. Promise.
I already presented myself on this board about 6 months ago, and then disappeared. I still have the hydrophobic water though, so... that's something.
I do apologise (and blame spending too much time in airless classes). Here, have another cup of tea as compensation. Totally not predatory. Nope.
It's pretty much impossible to remember all the people here, right?
Wow. Also, never trust a Sue that says " enough about me ". After all, she is a Sue, everything in the Glaurunging world has to revolve around her by definition.
