It's a Neverwinter Nights 2 joke.

Subject: It's a Neverwinter Nights 2 joke.
Author: Desdendelle
Posted on: 2015-09-09 23:15:00 UTC

If it's in a Lizardman cave, it's trapped and locked. No exceptions.

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A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 09:40:00 UTC Reply

Hello there!

I'm a guy in Tennessee who's familiar with the Pokemon, TF2, and MLP. I also have some knowledge of The Binding of Isaac, FNaF, Little Inferno, ect.

IRL-wise, I'm a freshman in college, and I'm working towards a computer science degree.

I was thinking of joining the ranks of the PPC, so come at me!

Greetings, mortal! by Dark Brother 16 on 2015-09-11 01:40:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the ranks. We hope you enjoy yourself here, where sanity and normalcy are highly valued. *barely concealed psychotic giggle*

But seriously, it's good to have you here. The college life can be difficult, I feel you. I'm a Sophomore myself, and my education is probably why I haven't managed to procure myself Permission yet. I've been devoting myself to my studies. But time management is key, obviously. When it comes time for actually doing the work, stay on top of it, and you'll have plenty of time to unwind and go crazy with us, so to speak (*giggles again*).

Once again, welcome to the PPC! It's customary for PPC members to give newbies "gifts," (even though they're not real gifts, they're little lines of text on a computer). I however, have never given anyone anything, because I haven't had the opportunity.

Nevertheless, here's a, uhhhhhhhhh... Shoe Umbrellas! They're tiny, red-and-white-striped umbrellas you can attach to your shoes so that your feet don't get wet when it's raining. I don't know why someone invented these, but they're honestly the best I have at the moment. (I'm poor! I'm a College student, after all.)

Semper erit insanus!

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Hella by radioactiveSue on 2015-09-09 03:13:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the board and here is a Ble light pen.

I am curious. by Desdendelle on 2015-09-09 18:32:00 UTC Reply

Where does this 'Hella' come from? I assume it's some sort of greeting?

I don't remember exactly, but... by radioactiveSue on 2015-09-09 19:33:00 UTC Reply

I think it was because of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff (a webcomic within a webcomic), from Homestuck.

Re: Hella by Lunamann on 2015-09-09 03:58:00 UTC Reply

Well then, this will be a bit useful... for blinding people with Ble light.

Muahaha.

Hello from a fellow newbie! by Schism on 2015-09-09 02:57:00 UTC Reply

Good evening! I... hmm, don't have anything particular to provide.. oh, here we go! Have a One-Time Storage Key: it'll let you empty your pockets into an undescribed Generic Hammerspace, if you insert it into any locked door. You can only use it once after to retrieve, though. There was an NPC who sold these, but I'm not sure what happened to them...

Well, I'm sure this will come in handy. by Lunamann on 2015-09-09 04:02:00 UTC Reply

I do need to find a place to put this stuff until I get a place to put it permanently.

Well met, traveler. by Seafarer on 2015-09-09 02:30:00 UTC Reply

Gift... well. Um.
*rummages through drawers*
Here, a piece of lizardfolk victory string. Keep it around; it's lucky.
See you 'round.

Lizardfolk? by Desdendelle on 2015-09-09 20:28:00 UTC Reply

Are you sure this piece of string isn't locked and trapped?

I guess you never read... by Seafarer on 2015-09-10 21:39:00 UTC Reply

...The Order of the Stick?

I actually have. by Desdendelle on 2015-09-10 22:05:00 UTC Reply

But that was ~~a few~~ five years ago (wow, that much?), so I must have forgotten. Or it happened after I stopped reading.
I still love... by Iximaz on 2015-09-10 21:42:00 UTC Reply

...the moment when Ganji gave Enor the string. It's just completely heartwarming.

And then Belkar tried to pull the lucky halfling rock on Roy, and I laughed. :D

Why would it need to be locked and trapped...? by Lunamann on 2015-09-09 21:51:00 UTC Reply

I'm not exactly familiar from the canon it's from...

It's a Neverwinter Nights 2 joke. by Desdendelle on 2015-09-09 23:15:00 UTC Reply

If it's in a Lizardman cave, it's trapped and locked. No exceptions.

But can you get lost in it? by TheShyIon on 2015-09-10 08:17:00 UTC Reply

...maybe it's just me that kept getting lost in that one lizardman cave.

Hrr... by Desdendelle on 2015-09-10 10:24:00 UTC Reply

I think I might have lost my way there a couple times. Not sure, though — I've uninstalled NWN2 ages ago.

Oh. Gotcha. (nm) (nm) by Lunamann on 2015-09-10 05:49:00 UTC Reply

Seeing as one of my agents will be Unlucky Incarnate... by Lunamann on 2015-09-09 04:03:00 UTC Reply

...that'd probably be pretty useful. Not that I'm letting him have it, of course...

Hiya! by Alleb on 2015-09-09 01:18:00 UTC Reply

The name's Alleb; you can call me Alleb. Have an urple ocarina!

I'm currently playing through FNaF1! It's... terrifying, to say the least. Any tips and tricks to share?

-Alleb

I haven't exactly played the games... by Lunamann on 2015-09-09 04:15:00 UTC Reply

...I'm more in it for the story, or at least what story can be figured out.

It's not like most continua, where you can get the story just by playing the games...

Anyways, I hear that late game, the cameras become less important due to less time to check them, and you end up using them only to fend off Foxy. The other three are countered with the hall lights and doors.

Thanks! by Alleb on 2015-09-11 02:54:00 UTC Reply

I've read some theories about the story, too. It's pretty chilling stuff.

What're your favorite theories, if you don't mind my asking?

-Alleb

First plover! (nm) by Tawaki on 2015-09-08 20:10:00 UTC Reply

Uhm, thank you? (nm) (nm) by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 20:15:00 UTC Reply

*noms the NMs&NMs* by Iximaz on 2015-09-08 21:18:00 UTC Reply

A plover is a cute little birdie. Like so:

https://www.audubon.org/sites/default/files/Wilson%2527sPloverc22-36-379l1.jpg

D'awww.

You're right, it is cute! (nm) by Lunamann on 2015-09-09 04:00:00 UTC Reply

Hi there! by domirossi on 2015-09-08 18:54:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the PPC! Since all the good stuff has already been said, have this whale! Well, it doesn't look much like a whale, but it qualifies as a Space Whale in an universe where space really is an ocean. And "Ocean Whale (but not really)" sounds silly.

(I have way too many ideas to actually write them.)

Re: Hi there! by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 19:01:00 UTC Reply

Excuse me while I look at this whale that doesn't look like a whale and try to figure out what it looks like...

I haven't completely figured it out yet... by domirossi on 2015-09-08 19:25:00 UTC Reply

... And it didn't really fit in brackets in the middle of the post. Which is how I usually do this kind of exposition.

To keep it short, its current design actually kinda looks like a basking shark without fins and gills. If it were mostly covered in various minerals and crystals, including the inside of its mouth. And had a very long tail that released air like an aquarium bubbler in some places. And glowed.

Just be glad you got one of the small ones. There's nothing really keeping them from getting bigger.

Well then, this really is interesting. (nm) by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 19:34:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the PPC! by James Shields on 2015-09-08 16:02:00 UTC Reply

Am I right to assume that you have read The Original Series, The PPC Constitution and the relevants FAQs on the Wiki?

Anyway, have my trademark Rorschach Book, which changes according to your current reading need.

How does it work? by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 16:05:00 UTC Reply

Does it magically connect to the astral Internet and "download" books from there?

Also yes, I have.

Hummm... No one asked that before... Let's see... by James Shields on 2015-09-08 18:10:00 UTC Reply

Sort of like that. It can change into any book (or fic for that matter) in existence. The exact way it works is kind of like the Room of Requiriment. Basically, just hold it, close your eyes and think of the text you wanna read and then blink on purpose three times and it should have changed.

That... that actually sounds pretty interesting. by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 18:49:00 UTC Reply

You don't mind if I use it when I start writing, do you? I don't plan on starting right away, of course, but I'm already thinking up a few things, and it might be a pretty interesting quirk to use the Rorschach Book instead of actually go get a canon book for a ritual.

Then again, the current character I have is an Eevee named Lucky who due to his introduction to the PPC (his death in a Wonderlocke causing the cancellation of a Wonderlocke comic where he was a main character, and said comic's cancellation causing a rather large plothole that manages to send pre-death Lucky to the PPC) is extremely unlucky due to a sort of "karmic debt" thingie. Having him randomly acquire that due to pure chance (i.e. being gifted to him as a newbie gift) would probably go against that...

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I wouldn't mind. by James Shields on 2015-09-08 19:15:00 UTC Reply

Though the Rorschach Book thing is currently just a Boarder thing. Currently it does not exist in the PPC Canon and I don't know if others would agree on it being implemented as such. If it were to be included in an actual PPC story however, you could just have it that is publically available like other PPC items, thus bypassing the luck issue.

You have a point... A very GOOD point... by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 19:33:00 UTC Reply

...and such a "publicly available" option, combined with drawbacks (i.e. not being able to reproduce non-written works like TV and video games, being a bit less useful in exorcism due to an as-of-yet unconfirmed vulnerability to suefluence, ect.) that explain its non-use compared to digital options or actual books, mean it's pretty much perfect for agents like Lucky.

Being cosmically and dismally unlucky means he might not be able to get ahold of the original versions due to demand and usage by everyone else in the PPC, and it also means it'd be impossible for him to use electronic options without breaking them. He thus has to resort to what may seem like an OP item like first but is quickly revealed to be a last-resort item shoved into the back of every other Agent's inventory, forgotten.

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You also raise a good point. by James Shields on 2015-09-08 19:45:00 UTC Reply

I was relunctant to agree because I thought something like it would be too powerful and would maybe make the Canon Library's written works section a bit obsolete, but yeah, maybe it wouldn't be THAT useful after all.

Yo! by Desdendelle on 2015-09-08 15:37:00 UTC Reply

Have you read the Constitution? The Original Series? You should read those.
Anyway!
*channels Himu*
Have a cup of confused Earl Grey of Wisdom!

Why yes, yes I have. by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 15:54:00 UTC Reply

And I'm currently kicking myself for not mentioning that in my first post.

The tea is... rather tasty, I'll admit.

Newbie! *reverts time so Ixi never Glomps* *Glomps* by Mattman The Comet on 2015-09-08 14:56:00 UTC Reply

Here, have an Ion-Trail-In-A-Jar

This is a rather interesting item...(nm) (nm) by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 15:03:00 UTC Reply

Welcome! by Pippa's Ghost on 2015-09-08 18:11:00 UTC Reply

Have a bowl of NM & NMs. Oh, wait, you've already got some. :)

There's never a reason to not have more! (nm) (nm) by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 18:50:00 UTC Reply

Why is everyone stealing my greeting? by Iximaz on 2015-09-08 15:01:00 UTC Reply

Look at what you guys did.

You made this kitten sad.

Shame on all of you, making this kitten sad.

*pets the sad kitten* (nm) by eatpraylove on 2015-09-08 18:20:00 UTC Reply
[Hides mind-control Pokemon innocently] by Huinesoron on 2015-09-08 15:23:00 UTC Reply

(Because let's be fair, you did steal the poking from me...)

(Also, per Dafydd: "Who cares about being fair? You gave me telepathic demons and expected me NOT to mess with people?")

hS

It may just be me being an idiot, but... by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 15:34:00 UTC Reply

I've never heard of a Pokemon that can control minds.

The closest I've seen is the moves Hypnosis, Encore, Taunt, and Torment.

Hypnosis is closest in name, but all it does is put things to sleep, while the other three are closest in effect, as they limit what moves the opponent can use.

Nothing that outright controls minds...

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Nonsense! by Huinesoron on 2015-09-08 15:38:00 UTC Reply

If you're not using Psychic-type moves to engage in callous mind-control at whim, you're quite clearly doing Pokemon wrong!

(Or, more generally: no, moves in the game don't do that. But even without checking, I'm positive somewhere in the thousands of episodes of the anime there has been genuine mind-control by a Pokemon.)

((Or, even more generally: I know. ^_~ We're all terribly silly around here. Also, hi, and welcome a'Board!))

(((hS)))

((((help the brackets have me))))

((((()))))

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I'm a cat person. by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 15:04:00 UTC Reply

That kitten is adorable and heartbreaking at the same time.

Be careful! by Tira on 2015-09-08 18:09:00 UTC Reply

That's how cats control you, you know - they make adorable sad faces at you until you do what they want. My kitty is an expert at it.

Unfortunately, knowing how the trick works doesn't make you immune to it...

Let's be honest here. by domirossi on 2015-09-08 18:57:00 UTC Reply

The only reasons humans have spread over the whole world is that cats needed us to do all the manual work.

*Glomps Kitten* Don't be sad Mr. Kitty by Mattman The Comet on 2015-09-08 15:03:00 UTC Reply

See he's happy now

"he's happy"? by Pippa's Ghost on 2015-09-08 18:09:00 UTC Reply

I hate to impose binary gender roles on anyone, but - judging by the markings - that is almost certainly a female cat.

/me is not a cat person (nm) by Mattman The Comet on 2015-09-08 20:10:00 UTC Reply

/me is very a cat person by Pippa's Ghost on 2015-09-09 16:35:00 UTC Reply

I've got a cat that I've had since she was born 19 years ago. That's older than many Boarders...

Whut. by Iximaz on 2015-09-09 17:32:00 UTC Reply

Your cat's older than I am. O_o

Yeah by Pippa's Ghost on 2015-09-10 20:17:00 UTC Reply

Jemima is a very old cat. Her mother, brothers, sisters, and uncle have all passed on, but she's still going strong (mostly thanks to a heavy dose of paranoia, that prevents her from risking any of her nine lives!)

My aunt once had a cat that lived to 21, so I'm hoping Jemima can match that.
Same here, by about a year. by Lunamann on 2015-09-09 19:53:00 UTC Reply

Now let's all sing a cheer,
because this is a very shocking thing to hear.

I couldn't resist after everything started rhyming...

D'aww (nm) by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 15:04:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to Creation, here's your shovel. by Voyd on 2015-09-08 14:47:00 UTC Reply

Have a shovel that digs up opinions!

... Like, say, your favorite spin-offs. Care to share?

Fave Spin-offs by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 14:59:00 UTC Reply

I'm honestly not as experienced with PPC spin-offs as I probably should be, although I am currently reading some of SkarmorySilver's work.

As for canon spin-offs, I'm rather fond of the Mystery Dungeon series. It's the first Pokemon game I ever finished the story mode of, to be honest.

Hmm... by Voyd on 2015-09-08 16:21:00 UTC Reply

Out of curiosity, have you read mine?

I have two agent teams: Valon/Kala and Chakkik/Stephanie.

I don't think I have, mind sending me a link? (nm) by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 16:38:00 UTC Reply

Here you are! by Voyd on 2015-09-08 16:49:00 UTC Reply

Valon

While you're on the Wiki, you can look up Chakkik; he's the center of my DMS team.

Newbie! *glomp* *poke* (Seriously, guys??) by Iximaz on 2015-09-08 14:27:00 UTC Reply

Hello, and welcome aBoard! For your newbie gift, take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti!

If you haven't yet read them, may I point you towards the Original Series and the Constitution? They're pretty much the only required reading around these parts. Another useful resource you might use is the Wiki; if you have any questions, just look here before asking.

Hope you like it here! :D

Already read those two, don't worry. by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 14:33:00 UTC Reply

Probably should reread them though, it's been a while since I read them...

Also I have the Wiki bookmarked, and thank you for the Italian-style SPaG. It's tasty.

Welcome, welcome, welcome! by eatpraylove on 2015-09-08 14:13:00 UTC Reply

Computer science, huh? Sounds pretty neat! Is there a lot of math involved? I have the sense there's math involved.

Anyway, your Newbie Gifts are a 100-page notebook with ~~best pony~~ Princess Twilight on it, a blue pen, and a commemorative photo of Poopy Joe (may he rest in peace). Enjoy your stay and do the required reading at the top of the Board! :)

Yes, a ton of math involved. by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 14:18:00 UTC Reply

I plan on framing the picture of the late Poopy Joe, and I'll definitely keep the notebook of Twilight and the blue pen handy.

Although Princess Luna is both best pony and best princess. Just saying.

Welcome aBoard! by SkarmorySilver on 2015-09-08 13:46:00 UTC Reply

Have one of my own shed feathers, and a Lyra plushie (without any suggestive holes, promise!)

Oh Arceus, that pun was sharp. by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 14:03:00 UTC Reply

Thank you for the feather blade, and double thank you for the plushie!

Newbie! *glomp* *poke* *cowers from Ix* by Scapegrace on 2015-09-08 10:35:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the PPC! Here's your starter Pokémon:-

Iiiiiiiit's Delcatty!

And your starting item is:-

Breath of Serket from Ascendant!

The Breaths from Ascendant are pretty cool additions to the one-use-only item pool, though Breath of Serket's more useful in Double and Triple Battles. When hit by a damaging contact move, the Breath grants your moves, and those of all adjacent friendly Pokémon, a +20% chance to inflict Poison in addition to any other effects for the next two turns. It's a pretty cool item, but Delcatty is terrible - and it definitely doesn't have the bulk to use any Breath effectively. If you must, go for a Bold with Wonder Skin, Super Train the thing in Defence and HP, and give it Substitute, Calm Mind, Hyper Voice and Baton Pass. The +20% poison chance will get carried over too, so there is that to be thankful for. =]

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Aww, it's a cute kitty 'mon! I shall name her Twilight by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 10:41:00 UTC Reply

You caught me on the "cat Pokemon" bit.

Also personally, I'm not a fan of one-use items as they're just that... one-use. Unless they're berries, which you can usually farm. (Personally I'm more a fan of the Gen 3 loamy-soil mechanic.) Thank you though, it'll certainly help in... one battle. (Probably more useful in its home canon usage...)

I balance for competitive. by Scapegrace on 2015-09-08 11:32:00 UTC Reply

Specifically, I balance for Pokémon Showdown, an online battle simulator in which you don't have to worry about finding more one-use items. =]

Showdown vs Canon Games by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 11:48:00 UTC Reply

You have a point, but I was more thinking the canon games where one WOULD need to find more.

I personally have a Showdown loadout involving a Hitmonlee with Unburden, Fake-Out, and a Normal Gem. Fake-Out destroys Normal Gem, and boosts the attack, but its true useage is triggering Unburden for a speed boost. Said loadout gets expensive in the canon games, as you need to get a new Normal Gem with each battle.

I did something similar with Quick Attack Talonflame. by Scapegrace on 2015-09-08 12:34:00 UTC Reply

Only there it was for the power boost to Acrobatic. Sure it burns a move slot on something kinda bad, but Acrobatics and Flare Blitz is generally all you need - especially if you dump U-Turn in the last slot. =]

Fake-Out Hitmonlee has one up on that. by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 12:54:00 UTC Reply

Not only do you get the speed boost, but you also have Fake-Out itself, a 100% chance for flinching. You are kinda screwed if you don't get it off first move, but the bonus is not only a boost to speed if you get it right, but also depriving your opponent of whatever move they were going to lead with.

I agree. by Scapegrace on 2015-09-08 13:04:00 UTC Reply

However, Talonflame is without question the better 'mon in competitive - and the set I listed earlier is something of a nerf, since it removes Roost. Fake Out is good, yeah (I like Technician Ambipom for that) but it forces your mon into a particular role, one for which Hitmonlee is, er... ill-suited. Too fragile, too low of a base speed even with Unburden's boost, and it has other, better options. When I see Hitmonlee (I play in its home tier of RarelyUsed) it tends to run Reckless with a Life Orb. Things die. A lot. =]

Meanwhile I tend to play in UnderUsed. by Anonymous on 2015-09-08 13:15:00 UTC Reply

And you have a point, it's not the best use for Hitmonlee.

Also note that I'm more of a newbie to Showdown competitive...

Eh, 's'fine. I like weird sets. =] by Scapegrace on 2015-09-08 13:25:00 UTC Reply

The thing about using Fake Out, though, is that it has to be a fairly strong Fake Out to begin with - you want to maximise the free damage you're getting. That's why I like Ambipom for it; STAB Technician LO-boosted Fake Out is almost, but not quite, a useful move. Add on Return, Knock Off, and Low Kick for coverage, and you have a usable mon, if a very fragile one. =]

That's a side effect of the Normal Gem. by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 13:36:00 UTC Reply

The Fake Out and Normal Gem serve two purposes here- not only for Fake-Out's usual purpose (free damage boosted by Normal Gem and disarming setup moves, which is why I send out Hitmonlee first), but also for the Unburden speed boost. After the Fake Out, I have Close Combat and Hi Jump Kick for two choices of STAB moves (one with the downside being making a fragile 'mon even more fragile, the other with the possibility of miss=recoil), and Blaze Kick as an option for Super Effective against certain types.

*looks around for Ixi* Chance!... Newbie! *Glomp* *Poke* by Anonymous on 2015-09-08 10:32:00 UTC Reply

Hello and welcome!

Here, have a head that's always screaming!

Re: *looks around for Ixi* Chance!... Newbie! *Glomp* *Poke* by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 10:36:00 UTC Reply

Well now, this is interesting. I shall keep it in a soundproof fridge.

Also, who might you be? You seem to have forgotten your name...

Oh, bloody hell, I have... Sorry! :D (nm) by Matt Cipher on 2015-09-08 10:57:00 UTC Reply

It's OK. (nm) (nm) by Lunamann on 2015-09-08 10:59:00 UTC Reply