Welcome to the ranks. We hope you enjoy yourself here, where sanity and normalcy are highly valued. *barely concealed psychotic giggle*

But seriously, it's good to have you here. The college life can be difficult, I feel you. I'm a Sophomore myself, and my education is probably why I haven't managed to procure myself Permission yet. I've been devoting myself to my studies. But time management is key, obviously. When it comes time for actually doing the work, stay on top of it, and you'll have plenty of time to unwind and go crazy with us, so to speak (*giggles again*).

Once again, welcome to the PPC! It's customary for PPC members to give newbies "gifts," (even though they're not real gifts, they're little lines of text on a computer). I however, have never given anyone anything, because I haven't had the opportunity.

Nevertheless, here's a, uhhhhhhhhh... Shoe Umbrellas! They're tiny, red-and-white-striped umbrellas you can attach to your shoes so that your feet don't get wet when it's raining. I don't know why someone invented these, but they're honestly the best I have at the moment. (I'm poor! I'm a College student, after all.)

Semper erit insanus!

Welcome to the board and here is a Ble light pen.

Good evening! I... hmm, don't have anything particular to provide.. oh, here we go! Have a One-Time Storage Key: it'll let you empty your pockets into an undescribed Generic Hammerspace, if you insert it into any locked door. You can only use it once after to retrieve, though. There was an NPC who sold these, but I'm not sure what happened to them...

Gift... well. Um.
*rummages through drawers*
Here, a piece of lizardfolk victory string. Keep it around; it's lucky.
See you 'round.

The name's Alleb; you can call me Alleb. Have an urple ocarina!

I'm currently playing through FNaF1! It's... terrifying, to say the least. Any tips and tricks to share?

-Alleb

Welcome to the PPC! Since all the good stuff has already been said, have this whale! Well, it doesn't look much like a whale, but it qualifies as a Space Whale in an universe where space really is an ocean. And "Ocean Whale (but not really)" sounds silly.

(I have way too many ideas to actually write them.)

Am I right to assume that you have read The Original Series, The PPC Constitution and the relevants FAQs on the Wiki?

Anyway, have my trademark Rorschach Book, which changes according to your current reading need.

Have you read the Constitution? The Original Series? You should read those.
Anyway!
*channels Himu*
Have a cup of confused Earl Grey of Wisdom!

Here, have an Ion-Trail-In-A-Jar

Have a shovel that digs up opinions!

... Like, say, your favorite spin-offs. Care to share?

Hello, and welcome aBoard! For your newbie gift, take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti!

If you haven't yet read them, may I point you towards the Original Series and the Constitution? They're pretty much the only required reading around these parts. Another useful resource you might use is the Wiki; if you have any questions, just look here before asking.

Hope you like it here! :D

Computer science, huh? Sounds pretty neat! Is there a lot of math involved? I have the sense there's math involved.

Anyway, your Newbie Gifts are a 100-page notebook with best pony Princess Twilight on it, a blue pen, and a commemorative photo of Poopy Joe (may he rest in peace). Enjoy your stay and do the required reading at the top of the Board! :)

Have one of my own shed feathers, and a Lyra plushie (without any suggestive holes, promise!)

Welcome to the PPC! Here's your starter Pokémon:-

Iiiiiiiit's Delcatty!

And your starting item is:-

Breath of Serket from Ascendant!

The Breaths from Ascendant are pretty cool additions to the one-use-only item pool, though Breath of Serket's more useful in Double and Triple Battles. When hit by a damaging contact move, the Breath grants your moves, and those of all adjacent friendly Pokémon, a +20% chance to inflict Poison in addition to any other effects for the next two turns. It's a pretty cool item, but Delcatty is terrible - and it definitely doesn't have the bulk to use any Breath effectively. If you must, go for a Bold with Wonder Skin, Super Train the thing in Defence and HP, and give it Substitute, Calm Mind, Hyper Voice and Baton Pass. The +20% poison chance will get carried over too, so there is that to be thankful for. =]

Hello and welcome!

Here, have a head that's always screaming!