*chuckles* by
Cassie
on 2012-12-09 10:39:00 UTC
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I've only ever seen Labyrinth once, but that was enough to know just how horribly OOC this fic was in the majority of particulars. I love the agent dynamic as well - Saxo and James are a delightful antithesis to each other and the bickering was spot-on. :D
I sort of hope Saxo never runs into my DIC Agent, William Marshall - William's a half-blood, pro-Muggle Auror and a survivor of both Wizarding Wars. That would probably get very messy indeed. :P (Actually, I think I lied when I said I hope they don't meet. It would be entertaining. XD)
My only niggle is that in the charge list I noticed a persistent mistyping. "Mudblood" should be capitalised, as JKR always did it. Other than that, it was a delight to read.
Re: New mission. Harry Potter x Labyrinth. by
Sevenswans
on 2012-12-08 15:54:00 UTC
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This was pretty darn funny. (Also, Yay! Canons I know very, very well.)
Oh, man, I'd forgotten about Stephanie. That is going to have to be a hard one. (Also, Saxo and James might actually get along on occasion, though they vehemently deny it? Who knew?) Also, the ex death eater wanting to put things back to the way they were in his fic was an awesome way of getting the gist of the entire backstory... though it's made me think about watching my back while I wander HQ. :)
Aha! Canons I know! by
Huinesoron
on 2012-12-08 10:26:00 UTC
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That was fun. I thoroughly enjoyed seeing the agents interact - and was convinced that they were who they were supposed to be. James' semi-quoting and generally Sir-Didymus-y character was particularly eye-catching.
There were also some lines that really amused me: "Trust Snape to have a well stocked laboratory wherever he goes. Trust him on nothing else, but trust him on this."
And the whole thing with Saxo and Lord Tomdemort near the end - that was a brilliant character moment. I applaud you.
On the flip side, there were some fairly clumsy paragraphs. The following caught my eye:
"James scooped up the mini-Aragog, slitherin, like he had seen Mittens do many times and tried to place it in the backpack. Apparently he lacked Mittens’ skills, for slitherin wiggled in his arms and when he tried to stuff it in the backpack, it bit him. In the end he had to be content with letting it ride on top of the backpack."
That's three instances of 'backpack' in as many sentences, and it did break the flow (to the point where I copied it to mention it). But it was the only one which hit me that hard. In general, this is a problem that can be solved by synonyms ("rucksack" or "bag") or just rewording ("letting it ride on top.")
As to the epilogue... that was pretty darn meta. Fun, though. And an interesting way of solving the problem. ;) I also liked the reappearance of James & Saxo at the end - a nice closure to (this piece of) their tale.
All in all, fun times! Thank you for writing that.
hS
Re: Mission (spoilers) by
doctorlit
on 2012-12-08 05:19:00 UTC
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Ah! You found a perfect crossover for James and Saxo to mission in together! With parts of each agent's home canon being defiled, they each had reason to set aside their differences and work together, if only for a little while. (Also, man, do I love reading their lines in the voices I imagine for them.)
That perfectly logical reason for teamwork, combined with the shortness of the mission, gave it some real velocity. This was a good choice, as the sheer idiocy of the canon's out-of-character natures meant that little evidence was really required by the reader to see that this was a badfic. That pace really pays off at the end, when the mission seems to be about to end like every other . . . and then you slam your reader with Saxo's internal plan to off his partner and recast himself as a major shaker in the Potterverse. It hits with the force of a runaway train, and it really does seem like such an easy thing to do . . . the choice doesn't seem like it has an obvious solution, so I really was left wondering if Saxo would at least try . . .
His final realization that he really has nothing to go back to is a major turn in Saxo's personality. I suspect he'll be a bit more into PPC agency, at least for a little while . . . but I have to wonder if he'll get such an itch again. Also, whether James will have a similar "moment" where he realizes that his new PPC life really is for life.
Oh, there's an epilogue. I must get to bed now, but I shall read that tomorrow night and comment again, hopefully. But first! Errors!
"'Yes. Then we can go back to ripping each others throats out.'"
"In the fic it turned out, that is was actually Tom Riddle, who wanted the help of Jareth and his goblins in the war against the wizarding world.
"James scowled at the scene and picked up hogmead, the mini-Aragog." Here we are, the true sign of the PPC's maddening nature: You've misspelled the misspelling hogmaed (unless it got copy-pasted wrong in the badfic quote just before this line.)
"The was another mini-Aragog, Wesley."
"There’s another mini. It’s must be ‘Deatheaters’."
"In desperation, he Apperated to the first location that crossed his mind." It's "Apparated," with three a's.