Subject: On puns.
Author:
Posted on: 2017-07-12 16:49:00 UTC
As it happens, everyone thinks DAS-DIG (the geologists) are really weird, because their acronym directly refers to their job. The loonies.
Maybe DAS-BOOT can be Hardric's magic unit - the BOrderline Occult Team.
hS
It's long been a bugbear of mine that there are no true mad scientists in HQ. We had DoSAT, but they're engineers (though suitably mad). We had the DMSE&R, but they were extremely specialised and Not Relevant To My InterestsTM. We had the Medical Research Division, but they seemed to actually want to do their job sensibly. And of late we had the Division of Applied-and-theoretical Multiversal Physics, but they only had one document to their name, and I hadn't even decided which department they were a division of.
Note the past tense above.
It is with great pleasure and not a little trepidation that I introduce a brand shiny new PPC department, designed specifically to deal with all those nagging little scientific questions you never knew needed asking: the Department of Analytical Science (DAS).
Formed from the merger of the DMSE&R and the DAMP, the Thistle and Flowering Leek have branched out into more than half a dozen fields, from chemistry and physics to geology and archaeology. With a large and eclectic collection of agents, DAS stands ready to solve all the scientific problems you care to name - or at least, to reword them in such complicated language that you don't feel bad about not understanding it.
And with even greater pleasure and trepidation, I would like to present the very first work of the new-formed department: the Journal of Investigating Veracity by Experimentation.
DAS-JIVE, Issue 1: "To Think, They Called Us Mad"
Comprising eleven scientific papers on diverse fields by the staff of DAS, along with a foreword by the joint department heads, and biographies of the scientists themselves. The subjects range from an attempt to construct an evolutionary tree of Mary-Sues (Agent Yasmeen, DAS-SWEAR, aka the former DMSE&R), to an archaeological exploration of OFUM's universe (Agents Joan and Durand, DAS-AWAY), by way of narrativium (Alembic and Sunniva, DAS-VOID), generic surface (Mandy and Wei-ting, DAS-MAD), and cooking (Huinesoron & Atlas, DAS-DIG).
Naturally, given the diversity of the agents of DAS, their papers don't even attempt to conform to the same style. I recommend sticking your head into all of them, even if you don't read to the end - you never know what you might be missing.
~
I've put a whole heap of work into this, so it would be very nice to hear some opinions on it. But reviews aren't the only thing I want (though I definitely do; knowing people are reading your work is half of what keeps writers going, so it's always kind to comment when you read something). There are plans for a DAS-JIVE Issue 2, and for that to happen there's two things I'd like from you:
1/ Ideas! I've got a couple (though most of the 'another paper is needed/research is ongoing' comments from Issue 1 won't be followed up), but there's lots of agents who need something to do. I don't promise to use them, but if you've got a scientific question about anything in the multiverse(s), ask it and I'll see if any of the agents want it.
2/ Letters! I really wanted a Letters to the Editor section, but couldn't come up with anything to put into it. So if any of your agents have an interest in science (or you want to pick up any NPCs who do), go ahead and have them write in. I'm sure there'll be a great many responses.
~
A note on agents: in merging the DMSE&R into DAS, I've re-adopted Agent Niamh away from Lily Winterwood. Along the way, I've resolved the question of why she's sometimes shown as a stern blonde Irishwoman, and sometimes a cheerful Vietnamese. Answer: it's both, and she won't tell anyone why. (Okay, I know, not really 'resolved'...)
I've also kept Agent Penny, who has long been in the DMSE&R, and who I adopted years ago. She's in DAS-SQUEE now, the biology unit.
I deliberately haven't mentioned the other named DMSE&R agents. They may be working in DAS-SWEAR or DAS-SQUEE; they may have retired long ago; they may have moved to a completely different field. Not my agents, not my choice, but I'm not closing the door on them.
Norlossë has been mentioned once before, here; she was always intended to be a member of DAMP.
Oh, and Agent Huinesoron is doing double-duty as an agent of DOGA and DAS-DIG. He also helps out DAS-AWAY occasionally, and has a reserve position with SIELU. He's a busy bee; serves him right.
Other than that, all the DAS agents are new creations. At some point some of them will probably go free-to-use, but for now, please give them a warm welcome.
hS
Department of Analytical Science
Flowering Leek
Journal of Investigating Veracity by Experimentation
As well as edits to existing pages as needed, such as the DMSE&R page and the Complete List of PPC Fiction. This work is not nearly finished; if you see something out of date anywhere on the wiki, please fix it!
And since I realize I haven't actually said this yet, I enjoy all of this and support it and want it to continue. {= )
~Neshomeh
That is an excellently put-together page on the department. Thank you!
I've gone and updated Dr. Niamh and Penny. I see you've already sorted the Thistle. :)
hS
Um, yeah. This is amazing, and I don't think I could have executed this idea given five years of writing time. I would gush more, but I need to get this typed out in the hour before I leave for work, so let's go.
Editorials
Actually, backing up, I just figured out the title is the scientists saying that are now mad scientists, where they weren't before. Clever!
I like that you manage to get across the personality difference between the Flowers within the bare-bones paragraphs of an editorial column. Love the little Thistle signature you made, too, in color even!
The Leek calls itself a "Leak," though.
Flashpatch
I like that the departmental flashpatch's watermelon gets divided into slices for the divisions. I like the pseudo-characterization you give all the ants to fit them, too.
Cladogram
Haven't actually started the Young Wizards series yet, but I've osmosised some stuff about it from you and Nesh talking about it on the Board. I love the implication here that the Manual represents such a universal good that even characters from other universes can be chosen to follow it.
Yeah, I've never really thought the family tree idea worked for Suvians, and a lot of the Latin names made over the years feel pretty half baked.
On #27 in both versions of the chart, the "terrible" is missing the opening quotation mark.
Stellar
I really like that you use one of the papers to address the idea that science can't necessarily answer everything, especially when limited by the minds and experiences of those performing it. And also the fact that different worlds have different laws, and that the same science isn't guaranteed to work multiverse-wide.
The ending is incredibly PPC to me, in light of the above; continuing to work together in spite of differences.
Narrativium
This was a bit hard to follow due to chemistry being my un-subject, but I do appreciate that you haven't reduced narrativium to an ordinary solid matter. I especially loved the puns inherent in the extractions.
The Rose
When I started reading this, I was excited by the incoming Dark Tower reference . . . but then it wasn't. So I got confused. Is this meant to be an Ardan native's take on TDT's rose? Or was this a separate concept in Tolkien's writings? Or a joke about the center of the universe being shaped like a d20?
Anyway, the formal-sounding Tolkien style in which Norlossë writes lends itself especially well to a scientific publication.
Cannibal
I liked that this got set up by an allusion in one of the earlier stories. Also fun was the callback to "Woodsprite of the North."
Under Sue #1, was the use of "DMSE&R" rather than "DAS" intentional?
Cookbook
The taste metaphors of the review types are quite thoughtful and funny.
As a person who constantly complains about the food culture in my own country, I especially appreciate that the animal agent doesn't comprehend the concept of eating fancy foods for enjoyment. Because no, zoo guest, I don't need to refill that animal's empty food bowl, because the food is measured out to be a day's worth of nutrients, and animals that have food in front of them all day will overeat and get fat, because eating is for survival, not for fun, and you don't get to tell me how to take care of wild animals, suburbanite.
Archaeology
Not much to say here, other than I appreciate the choice of species for this forced split-up gag. I was wondering why you wanted a train agent . . .
Ancillary Canons
I really love your interpretation of how agents of different backgrounds might look at this topic. The note the story ends on is especially nice, allowing that the work the PPC does is bigger than defining what's "real."
This one phrase seems to have an extra/missing word in it? "Containing a radically different view of Middle-earth's nature early days to that seen in the Silmarillion . . ."
Generic Surface
The escalating argument communicated via scientific paper is hilarious and well executed.
I most especially like that you managed to avoid actually describing much about generic surface; after all, the whole point of the stuff is that it's hard to describe! I suspect the scientists' squabble was engineered by Legal to ensure generic surface remains generic . . .
Oh, interesting theory about the light, too. After all, with no visible light sources, the light in HQ must come from the generic surface, yeah?
Suvian Biology
. . . This paper, in particular, must have been an hours-long time sink for you. I can't even imagine going through all those different writings and working out all the different species. The tables alone . . . wow.
You spelled Cocoa Puff's name as "Cocao" both times it appears.
I am sorry for not being as detailed as I usually am, but I'm covering days for my lead keeper's vacation this week, and the only way I could get this written out was to squeeze it in between shifts. I apologize for any mistakes I made in rushing to type this. I also have some letters to the editor in mind, but they'll need to wait for a separate post, as I need to leave in eleven minutes, and haven't brushed teeth yet.
—doctorlit, eating breakfast for the nutrients, not because he likes to eat breakfast
Editorials: Thanks! ^^ For some reason I've found it impossible to spell Leek right, even though 'leak' isn't exactly a word I use on a daily basis. I've had to correct her so many times. (Also I could never keep in my head that the Thistle is supposed to be male; to my mind he's clearly female, which means the Leek is clearly male... despite being female. I've no idea, honestly.)
Cladogram: What, you don't think Middleschoolicus builtlikeapornstarricus is the most excellentest Latin evar? Shame on you.
Stellar: Yep, that's the idea. This is PPC HQ. Everything in it is affected by how people think (I may do a paper on different forms of mini in Issue 2). So when a mathematician and a magical White Hole get together to discuss stars... yeah, they were never going to answer anything. (I tried to keep the theme of 'actually getting concrete answers is super hard' running through the entire journal.)
Narrativium: I knew going in that there were going to be some papers that some people couldn't understand, and the chemistry one was always going to be high on the list. But it sounds like you enjoyed it anyway, so that's good!
The Rose: ... is a reference to <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uyY7ugbeCepIbVirsCPh-OeWV8kNukM1YxxWilDLwg/edit#">this paper by the DAMP (before it was DAS-DAMP), which creates the theory that the multiverseplex is an icosahedron (because... just because). It said this:
The question of what occupies the centre of the Icosahedron, where all the multiverses meet, is likely to become highly debated. Already several hypotheses are being bandied about, including the notion that it is a ‘real’ multiverse of which all ours are but shadows (though this idea is also said of the outside of the Rose), that it is simply a mathematical point with no physical significance, and that ‘At the center of all lies the Dark Tower, do it please ya.’
... which may actually have been quoting you. ;) I've dropped a link to the paper into the first paragraph, which should really have been there all along.
Cannibal: The DMSE&R is intentional. Most of Dr. Niamh's collection is inherited from the old department. (And yeeeeah, Alumia. ^^)
Cookbook: And now I've learnt something about animals! It was actually moderately difficult to figure out how to do Atlas' parts, but then the idea of the salt entry hit me. At that point it all fell together.
Archaeology: I'll let you in on a secret - I just came up with things I wanted to use for agents, and then maneuvered them to fit. I have a document where I listed first their species, then the details, then their personalities, and usually finally their names. A Thomas the Tank Engine agent was a fun idea, so I found a division to slot her into.
She was also the hardest one - other than Atlas - to photograph. I've artificially recoloured her from red to bronze, and added a hint of lips and eyelashes (because this is TTTE - it's not subtle about sexual dimorphism in steam engines).
Ancillary Canons: This one came about because of Norlosse, actually. She's a Middle-earth native, but is also obviously not from the Middle-earth canon. I needed (well, wanted) a name for that, and I had a physicist with a sociological bent to hand...
Generic Surface: Yay, it worked! ^^ The idea of 'two students fall through the Avon Rift and have to work together despite not getting on' was a very early one, but this ended up being the last paper written, because I didn't know how exactly to do it. I'm pleased it worked. ^^
Suvian Biology: And this is where it all started. I wanted to piece together everything we had on Suvian biology, and see if there was any way to make it coherent. The idea of writing it as a formal review article popped up about halfway through the table, and led directly to "what if I made more mad scientists...?". (As for Agent Cocoa - I have no excuse. It's just like the Leek.)
Thank you for your extremely detailled review. ^^ It's hard to descibe just how much it means to know that someone's read it, and liked it, in such detail. This goes to everyone else, too: thank you.
hS
Hey, I'm happy to review! You always put a lot of creative effort into your stuff, and it shows—to say nothing of all the development you do within the setting, in areas most of the rest of us don't even touch!
---
Hey there! Just found a copy of your science mag, ad went browsing through. Lot of stuff I don't get, 'cause, you know, big science and stuff. But there was one thing stood out as being way weird, even to me. In the one article, about Narrativium, why the heck did your scientists give it Zq as an abbreviation? Shouldn't that be, like, Na or NR or something?
—Laquisha of the Nursery!
---
To Agent Narlossë of DAS-DAMP:
I recently finished your article "Mapping the Rose" in the premier issue of JIVE. It's a very interesting theory, and gives me, as a former resident of a science fiction galaxy, much to think about!
However, I must admit, there appears to be one aspect of reality missing from your examination: you've listed many of the PPC's alternate universes, but none of its alternate timelines. We all know they exist, even if we don't like to talk of them much! So how do they fit into your classification scheme—if it's even able to account for them!
—Technician Voctor Kamras, DoSAT
---
Regarding your article, "The Trials and Triumphs of Ancillary Canons" :
It was definitely an interesting read. (I'm of the "World One agent who follows the Compromise Model" camp, myself.) While reading, though, it occurred to me that there is one more sort of story that you didn't cover: parodies. Things like Spaceballs that are more of an homage of a genre, I can easily see being their own proper canon. But what about more derivative parodies, like National Lampoon's The Hunger Pains, or The Lord of the Discs? What do the two models say about them?
—Agent Doc, Department of Floaters
---
To Dr. Niamh:
Regarding the Suvian genetics section of your paper, Medical has known about that for years now. Back when a couple of gullible generous agents adopted Agent Alec, a reformed Sue, when the boy got de-aged, Alec's DNA changed itself to make him actually their genetic child in everything but fact. Kind of nice, actually, having a kid without the actual having part. Anyway, you might want to do more research before publishing, in future.
—anonymous, BRD
---
—doctorlit finished typing with four minutes to spare this time, still needs to brush
Something is apparently wrong with time flow in HQ. I am quite sure that I cannot have known agent Hieronymus for more than six weeks. We spent most of this time in the Third and Fourth PPC HQ Hunger Games and on missions, and I remember every single day of it. But the Third Hunger Games started in January 2016 HST and now it is July 2017. How can this be? I think this should be investigated by your scientists.
Sincerely yours,
Androia Avatar, DMS-HP
This is definitely getting answered. Quite possibly at paper length.
hS
To the editors of the Journal of Investigating Veracity by Experimentation;
First off, I—what? Why are you reading over my shoulder?
Yes, I'm typing this out verbatim, what of it?
I suppose that is a valid point. Very well. First off, we must congratulate you on the establishment of what we are sure will become a most respectable publication. The PPC has been in need of a reputable scientific journal for far too long. While admittedly lacking in some areas, DAS-JIVE will no doubt fill a needed gap and help to bolster the development of pan-fictional scientific development for years to come.
That being said, I must personally confess to some confusion. As one of the preeminent PPC experts on cross-canonical technology development and artificial intelligence, I must question why I—and my team, I suppose—was not approached regarding this publishing. I have to assume this was some sort of oversight, and not some form of subtle retribution for the incident with the DAS coffee maker. As I explained both at the time and to the Thistle and Flowering Leek later, I had no knowledge of what the interns were doing and did not approve the installation of that additional piping.
In any case, my team and I look forward to the next issue.
Yours sincerely,
Dr. Daphne St. Auguste (Sc.D., Ph.D.), DoSAT-T&A
(Also both Tess Jachowicz and Naas'Gehlen vas Headquarters, who were reading over my shoulder and offering comments during the writing of this letter. Your additions have been noted, now please go file your reports.)
((OOC: So I really enjoyed this concept of yours, and will post some more in-depth thoughts later. But reading the various reports brought these three back into my head, so I decided to do a brief silly thing first. —PC ))
I'm sure this will get an appropriately snooty reply from the Thistle, and a somewhat more apologetic one from the Flowering Leek. ^_^ Thanks.
hS
That - all of it - was bloody great. I consumed it. Devoured it. Shoved it down my eye-gullets. As an introduction to the department and story type and... science, it was really bloody good! There's a lot of really fascinating, real deep sort've stuff explored throughout (even for a non-sciencey dope like me), but it always remains very entertaining and bloody funny. Mandy and Wei-Ling killed me, as did Laduquac's bits. And also what I presume to be the Thistle's little ASCII self-picture -|-cx. I approve of that. I saw your sort of, picking apart of the gag with the flashpatches and their designs, and that's brilliant, that (but you can still tell them apart! Eyyyy!) I was really wondering where the big mad scientist fellows had gotten to in HQ, and, ey, there they are!
I will admit to preferring the more 'story-ish' bits over the purely 'report-ish' bits- 'The Trials and Triumphs of Ancillary Canons,' while certainly still an interesting and fascinating read, was somewhat dull, compared to the ones with more sort of agent hijinks, y'know? Especially considering how well you do agent hijinks! But perhaps that is more of a personal thing - I would probably, by default, enjoy character hijinks over an in-universe scientific report - not that the concept of an in-universe scientific report isn't bloody good and that that sort've stuff should be done less, or any such. Anyhow, you get a real good sense of what each division does, and what all the characters are like, from each story, and they're all just so different, in terms of structure and all. And, yes, bloody well yes do I want to read more of them!
It's just, good grief, this must've taken a bloody long time to do!
So, how about, ah. Some sort of study into Generic Food? What's it made of? Does it taste the same across continua? If it doesn't, what are the differences and what causes them? What's it made of?
I imagine an attempt into studying the nature of irony in HQ would be the sort of thing they would try, too, with probable emphasis on the 'attempt' and 'try' bits of that. Just how far can you try to exploit irony in HQ? What are the limits of its reality bending capabilities? How many layers of irony on top of irony can you have before things get really weird? Or, er, some such. That all might be a touch vague.
I think Laduquac and Penny would love to investigate Generic Food. Irony... would be funny, for sure. I'll see what I can do. ^_^
hS
*squirrels away for future reading*
Please please please can we come up with a pun so we can have a division called DAS-BOOT?
As it happens, everyone thinks DAS-DIG (the geologists) are really weird, because their acronym directly refers to their job. The loonies.
Maybe DAS-BOOT can be Hardric's magic unit - the BOrderline Occult Team.
hS
First, this is an awesome concept (and also ties in with a few ideas I had, but I'll get to those later), and I really enjoyed reading these. They're clever and funny.
Secondly, if Ned oybjf uvf dhnagn va n znaare fvzvyne gb n pregnva pnaba ur'f pyrneyl na nyyhfvba gb (the rot13 is So You Want To Be A Wizard spoilers, more or less), I'll be vaguely unhappy. Also, how dare you remind me of that!
Thirdly, re: flashpatches: with the departmental one, basically-black on black doesn't wore very well for me. I'm effectively guessing if there's supposed to be an ant there or no. Similarly, more contrast on DAS-VOID and DAS-SQUEE's ants please? They're quite hard to see, let alone distinguish.
That being said, I like the descriptions of the patches and why they were chosen for each devision.
Fourthly, "You can't get much more negative than this, Professor." was a good line, though I will admit to skimming the technical bits (in the grand tradition of paper-readers everywhere)
(Intermission: "like unto those we have observes" -> "observed" in the conversation between Maria and Ned).
Fifthly, the whole Maria/Ned thing was fun reading. And Peregrin is currently demanding observatory access from somewhere near the back of my brain.
Sixthly, reading Anglish is painful. Writing it must have been more so. Thanks for not subjecting the wider PPC to an entire untranslated article.
Seventhly, interesting bit of multiverse theory there.
Eighthly, I'm liking the interplay between the papers around the fridge getting raided and the samples being eaten. Also, more Laduquac please.
Ninthly, the bit about salt was one of the best lines in the cookbook (which was good).
Tenthly, Joan and Durand have the "agent pair that rub each other the wrong way" dynamic going pretty well.
Eleventhly, Mandy really needs to start talking to Building Maintenance more.
Twelthly, the review article is rather appreciated (on an in-universe basis) because there's never enough of those.
Finally, expect RC #112358's reactions to this sometime soon-ish (given that it's a bit past midnight already)
... OK, that ended up being more than a few thoughts.
- Tomash
Peregrin checked the mail on the console somewhat carefully. Experience — and his former partner, Tomash, now a technician with DoSAT — had alleviated his initial fear that the console would explode or something if he did the wrong thing, However, it was still important to be cautious, since the console could explode because it felt like it, though it was nice enough to almost always stay in one piece.
The subject line "New Department of Analytical Science" caught his eye. He read the message, which announced the formation of a new department dedicated to, well, science, and the creation of a new journal. He then checked the sender, because this sounded like a prank. It wasn't.
"Taq! Taq!" he shouted. "You must read this!"
Taq stirred from his sleep. "Sir? Whatsit? Mission, sir?" he asked, still not fully awake.
"The Flowers have established a new department dedicated to research and its dissemination!" Peregrin explained, rather excited. "This is wonderful news, and I really must see what they have recently accomplished! There might even be results that will help resolve some of the Seminar's open questions! I will also have a place to publish that is less likely to be ignored!"
He then noticed that Taq looked rather uninterested in the march of scientific progress in HQ. "My apologies. I was quite excited. Feel free to go back to sleep."
"Well, sir, if'n this is important, I should see it."
"That is true." Peregrin printed off two copies of the journal, handed one to Taq, and began to read. Before long, Peregrin's copy was marked over with notes and computations in the margins, while Taq tried to look like he had some idea of was going on in the papers, even though he didn't.
Eventually, Peregrin finished his reading, put the journal down, and started wandering the halls with thoughts about the geometry of HQ bouncing around his head. (Taq had gone back to sleep in the meantime)
After some vaguely-defined amount of time had passed off-screen, the following letter appeared wherever a letter to DAS-DAMP would be delivered to, accompanied by a large stack of photocopied notes that had been hastily binder-clipped together:
To my colleagues at the D.AS (D.AMP),
I have read your theory about the structure of the multiverse and found it rather intriguing, though I am not convinced that it provide much of an explanation for the cross-universe bleed-through that occurs when fanfiction is written about some universe.
In the interests of greater scientific collaboration, please find attached my observations and theories regarding the topology of Headquarters, as well as my notes from all meetings of the Inter-Metaversal Seminar on Universal Topology that occurred in my subjective past. I remember that several of you were in attendance, but you may not yet have gone to the meetings in your timelines.
Yours,
Agent Peregrin, D.MS
... that the acronym for the Inter-Metaversal Seminar on Universal Topology has inevitably become SMUTI.
"The Seminar Metaversal on Universal Topology (Inter-)?"
"No, the name stays the same, we just changed the acronym."
"What? But... why?"
"Because... it's easier to remember?"
"That's absolutely not the reason, is it?"
"Shhh..."
hS
(PS: If you feel like writing up those notes, they'd be a very helpful reference for DAS-DAMP to argue with.)
where they specifically arranged the letters so that they don't expand in the correct order for just about everyone (such as UTC).
Come to think of it, I mis-named the thing slightly. It's the Inter-Metaversal Seminar on Universe Topology.
The general concept of the thing is that there seems to be a good bunch of meta-fictional or otherwise plothole-aware organizations running around, and a good bunch of them probably have at least one person who's interested in how the various universes you can visit are shaped and how they connect to each other. And thus, the Seminar. (and the Chair. Who is the Chair? I don't know, and neither does anyone else. They just coordinate meetings)
I have not actually written anything with this outside of references in #rudis, so feel free to ignore the idea, bastardize it, what have you.
(I don't currently expect that the records of the proceedings will happen soon, but I won't completely rule out the possibility that a relevant plotbunny will grab me. A few data points on HQ's layout might happen, because I've already thought of how it'd start.)
- Tomash
the reporting requirements for incursions by eldritch entities. (from what I remember of the Ispace project).
Yeah, the whole 'our flashpatch is ants! Here's loads of details about the ants! Oh, and I guess there's a watermelon or something in there too' thing was entirely deliberate. They're meant to be almost invisible. My only sorrow is that I couldn't make them even smaller. :D
Ned is not only a Fred-allusion - he's a relative of some description. Take a look at the last part of their full names. I assume the name is actually some sort of description (this is YW, after all), so it could mean they're simply white holes of roughly the same mass... or it could mean more. Who knows? (Anyway, I have no plans along those lines :( Fred...)
The observatory, being in a convent, has extremely restricted access. The nuns of San Galileo aren't as strict as they were in their old convent, but they do have some rules. Though negotiation is always possible.
I was originally planning to have Alembic write the Narrativium article, and then Sunniva translate it into Anglish as a joke. I gave up on that when I realised how much excruciating work it would be. If you want to see it done properly, check out Poul Anderson's Uncleftish Beholding, the direct inspiration for Sunniva.
Dr. Niamh's review was the first thing I wrote for this. I try to have a tidy mind, and the completely disparate nature of our 'studies' on Suvians was driving me crazy. So I fixed it. ^_^
hS
Well, I suppose the ants would be mostly invisible in practice, because trying to make them out when the patch is on someone's uniform must be tricky. As it stands, in the document, most of the divisions can be distinguished from each other by the general color and shape of the little guys, except as I mentioned previously. (which was actually why I complained, because it seemed like an accidental out-of-universe accessibility oversight).
Thanks for your reassurances as to Ned's future.
Well, I don't know much about the Convent of San Galileo (and Google isn't helping), but given its apparent sciency focus, Peregrin would feel mostly at home (He's from what's effectively a monastery for mathematicians, physicists, and the like, and fell through a plothole while carrying a stack of observations down from the observatory at Saunt Baritoe's.)
- Tomash
They're in PPC HQ, and that doesn't show up on search engines very often.
... okay, so Galileo Galilei had a daughter who went into a convent as Suor Maria Celeste. (Actually, he had two, but she's the one with a book about her.) That particular convent was San Matteo, outside Florence. She died of dysentry in 1634.
Meanwhile, in a Doctor Who audiobook, alien bounty hunters visited Florence. In what's either a fic based on the audiobook, or just a visit to the pseudo-canonical story itself, PPC agents rescued S. Maria Celeste from the convent's ruins after said aliens destroyed it. Along with the two other remaining nuns, she was brought to HQ, and treated for that nasty case of dysentry she had going on.
While getting established in the PPC, the nuns came across the notion that Galileo would someday (and in some canon) be canonised as a saint. S. Maria Celeste gleefully dedicated their new convent in HQ to him, and set about making it a home for science.
The three of them have drifted a long way from the baseline practices of the Poor Clares, but they do maintain the rules about staying in the convent and not letting other people in. Exceptions for astronomical entities and ambulatory flowers have been worked out over time. ;)
(The outlines of this are clear from her bio and paper, so I don't feel bad about sharing it.)
hS
I figured the ants being near-invisible was deliberate, and I'm sure you realize these guys are forever doomed to be the Watermelon Department, those watermelon guys, melonheads, etc. ^_^
Also, Anglish is awesome and I'm totally reading that when I get a chance.
~Neshomeh
I never really thought about something like that inside the PPC before. But now I read it? I can't believe The PPC went for so long without something like that. In my book, it makes it a very good idea.
Now, quick question. Will DAS also look over problems and questions concerning magic, whatever it's a form of magic tied to tecnhology or not? Because I think there ideas to be found there.
Depends on the question. ;) If it falls into one of the existing divisions (eg, DAS-DIG could deal with earth magic), definitely. If it would need a new division, then... possibly. Like I say, it depends on the question.
hS
Just asking if magic could be a potential subject.
Actually, I just got an idea. Perhaps trying to study techbanes effects from different continua, like Dresden Files, Harry Potter, Persona 3,...
I think you've put the cart before the horse, trying to start a Suvian family tree with Sues themselves. I would never go so far as to suggest that our respected members of the scientific community have simply been "classifying" Sues as an exercise in coming up with silly Latin names, of course, but as we all know, most Sues are pretty much like most other Sues, making separating them into "species" a daunting task at best. Thus, attempting to begin with their minor differences to each other is backward and ultimately fruitless.
Let us consider first the wider ecosystem of fiction.
Your biology departments may wish to collaborate with DAS-DAMP and DAS-VOID to explore the inherent issues involved in fitting Sues into a broader understanding of the multiverse, but for now, let's just take it for granted that classifying fictional entities is not like classifying biological entities. It is not particularly useful to look at how they interbreed, for instance, and anatomy and physiology aren't much help, either. Not even DNA can come to the rescue here.
Fictional characters, you see, are not classified by what they are, but rather by what they do, and more importantly, how they do it. Protagonist: hero: warrior. This character bravely faces challenges head-on to prove that good will always triumph over evil. Antagonist: villain: evil sorcerer. This character sneakily connives for their own ends regardless of collateral damage to others, pulling strings and manipulating events behind the scenes. Etc. I trust you see where I'm going with this, with reference to well-known character archetypes.
One must consider the character's prominence in the story: are they a main character? a supporting character? a background character? What separates these from each other? I would suggest that it has something to do with inherent narativium.
Now, once we understand the basics of classifying fictional characters in general, we can turn to the finer details of classifying fanfictional characters.
One important question I do not believe has yet been addressed is the ability of Suvians to become non-Suvian with time, and vice versa. If they are a separate species from other OCs, how is this possible? I assert that it isn't. All characters, canons, OCs, and Suvians, fit into the classification scheme I've referenced above; the difference between them lies in how destructive they are to the surrounding ecosystem of the canon. Suvians have often been compared to parasites, viruses, and other destructive organisms. That's getting close to the truth: Suvians are, in fact, diseased forms of the character archetypes we all know and love. A Suvian is a character infected and mutated by glitter. This is well substantiated by numerous anecdotes of regular characters becoming Sued after coming into contact with glitter, and Suvians becoming de-Sued when their glitter load is reduced. It is also well-known that a good character can possess all the same surface traits as a Suvian, and yet not be one. This is entirely due to glitter.
Therefore, in order to properly classify Suvians, we must look at them not as a species in their own right, but as normal character archetypes afflicted by particular forms of disease that warp and corrupt their nature. Only then can a useful classification system be achieved.
~Agent Neshomeh, Archivist, DoP
(( Good lord, that's a lot of words. I hope some of them make sense. I don't have a lot of time to refine this idea right now, unfortunately. ^_^; ))
I'm not sure Dr. Niamh will like it, but that's for her response in the Letters section.
I think this theory would make glitter more or less a different form of author-wraith: like slash-wraiths, infusing a character with it alters its nature. It makes just as much sense as any other theory. ;) If we want to draw in the glitter-golems hypothesis, then natural Suvians (rare) are of that kind, while the various created kinds are archetypes with glitter shoved into them.
hS
So, the difference between wraiths and Suvians, IMO, is that wraiths always target canon characters whereas Suvians are original characters. With this theory, though, I wonder if that distinction becomes moot, and normal OCs can be infected with the same range of issues that go along with wraiths. But I don't think you can exorcise glitter, though, so maybe not. Maybe glitter is like a bacteria or virus, and wraiths are more like parasites.
That would make Archir the Emerald make a bit more sense, I guess: he was a parasite evolved not to need to inhabit a host, instead feeding indirectly through close contact.
Honestly, he should just have been a character replacement, though. >.> (And how do we fit that in?)
~Neshomeh
Would any Agents be interested in investigating the "Event Horizon of Suedom" (picturing the impressions Suefluence leaves on the canon to be similar to how everything in reality leaves an impression on the fabric of the universe via gravity)? How many typos does it take to warp a Word World - taking them more from just irritants to Agents to malformations for Word Worlds to play with?
On another note, what happens if a Sue is de-Sueified within the fic? Are there any documented cases of such?
This may be the only documented case I remember.
HG
What about in-fic (non-PPC) exorcisms, though? Has that ever happened?
... But I'm enjoying this very much already!
(Also: an encounter with a Manual? Do tell. ;) )
I may be back later with ideas for questions.
She goes into it a little in her paper, as it happens. I'm not sure if it's going to go anywhere, but I have a feeling the Flowers' precautions may, ah, show a certain lack of understanding of the subject.
hS
Leaves me imagining a Powers vs Flowers situation...
In other news, I do have one idea so far (not finished reading everything yet): given certain species similarities, how would Laduquac fare if he ever met Mamvish?
(Er, it doesn't get detailed until her On Ordeal section, but it's definitely canon. ^^; )
Kaitlyn mentioned the ordeals were available, but is that 'freely' or 'for a price'?
hS
And if that doesn't work, it's
here.
But only because I just got it last week. Not sure the other two clicks have expired.
Otherwise, I think it's $10.
huinesoron at hotmail dot com. I am super old-school.
Also I have no idea what you're saying with the clicks thing?
hS
Very interesting and well thought out! I'll admit, this came as a huge surprise to me, but it's a nice addition to the PPC. Having the new department be based in DMSE&R is a nice way of tying it back into the pre-existing (insofar as we have that) PPC canon, and I'm interested to see what else might come of this new department.
(I liked the Suvian Cladogram and inorganic cookbook pieces the best, though Laduquac's reactions to the Suvian meatstuffs had me simultaneously giggling and grossed out.)
Unfortunately, not being very scientifically inclined myself, I'm not really able to think of any questions that would make for a very good prompt, so I'll have to think on that for... probably a good long while.
All in all, though, I enjoyed this even though I didn't understand all of it and hope you'll do more with it in the future.
All giggling at puns aside, this is interesting! Reading the first issue now.