Subject: Niiiiice
Author:
Posted on: 2017-07-07 17:06:00 UTC
Gonna read this!
Subject: Niiiiice
Author:
Posted on: 2017-07-07 17:06:00 UTC
Gonna read this!
I'm never going to not smile whenever I get to post that now.
The Aviator and Zeb take on an Iron Man wannabe who romances Widowmaker while lusting after Tracer.
Alternate blurb: The Aviator and Zeb get really excited about an Overwatch mission, but are traumatized multiple times in quick succession.
I would also like to thank Alleb for the mini type introduced in this fic! She and Larfen actually started working on an Overwatch mission before I did, so I just used the minis they had planned. Credit where credit is due. :)
So, like I said to Skarm a couple weeks back, I'm jumping back into reading current spin-offs mid-season, so if there's anything I'm confused by that's due to not keeping up, just ignore that.
I'm also still catching up on internet stuff from that dog-sitting adventure and a schedule change last week, so this review is based on notes I took while reading it last week. I'm sorry for the stale review, but time and sleep haven't been kind to me this week . . . I do plan on hitting your other two missions you've got on the front page, as well, though it may not all be today.
I'm embarrassed to admit, I didn't get the pun in the mission title at first glance. I had a vague inkling that there was a real word that sounded like "fauxpilot," but I couldn't quite pull it out of my brain. Then I saw the fic's original title in the author note, and figured it out. I blame the sleep deprivation . . . anyway, this was a long-winded way of saying that your title is an excellent and clever pun.
I love that you have the Aviator and Zeb using a TARDIS as an RC. Aside from the fact that it makes sense for the Aviator's history, I like that it serves as a callback to the invasion, when the TARDIS distribution got dropped afterwards by pretty much everyone but Tawaki. I like seeing another, newer writer picking up on details from the PPC setting's past.
I like how you handled the lack-of-ending-puntuation issue. Quoting a bunch of paragraphs would have been clunky, so presenting it up-front through your own prose was a much better choice. I also like your explanation that it causes the world to slowly blend together bit by bit, since the "separations" between events and character dialogue are missing. My one cmomplaint on this regard is that you pretty much drop that detail after those opening paragraphs. To be fair, though, the Sue was doing enough throughout the fic that it was probably better to focus on him.
I really, really love that you've got two characters with PTSD-esque reactions to explosions, and you expose them to explosions, but then, rather than turning it into a big, dramatic thing, you let it become these really sweet, quiet moments of support between the characters. Very well done!
One thing I think you could have done a bit more is explain the canflict between Overwatch and Talon. This is the first Overwatch mission, so it would have been nice to get a feel for the nature of the conflict: what each side stands for, why Overwatch was disbanded and reformed, etc. This fic makes things especially confusing, since (if I'm reading it correctly) it seems to be trying to redeem certain Talon characters, like Widowmaker?
I have but one line to complain about:
“Bet you enjoyed that.”
“No amount of therapy sessions can compensate for that,” he said, nodding.
The way this is written, it sounds like Zeb is saying, "Therapy can't make up for how good that assassination felt," which doesn't make sense, since therapy also makes you feel good. I think, rather than "compensate for," you meant a phrase like "compare with" or "compete with?"
—doctorlit
As for the Aviator's TARDIS, she keeps it in her RC and it basically acts as an extention of said RC. It was one of the duplicates, though.
Hm... the explaining Overwatch's plot thing more seemed like it would be unnecessary, considering the large number of fans in the PPC. The TL;DR is that Overwatch was formed to combat the robot uprising, then collapsed after the Omnic wars and internal corruption caused public backlash. Then Talon formed as a terrorist organization and Overwatch was illegally reformed to combat them.
Thanks for pointing out the error with Zeb's line—I'll fix that ASAP.
(this is a partial slate of notes; varied reactions aren't written down)
- Ellie is cute, and I'm liking Ave's fake-frustrated here
- Zeb, no, don't you'll make the console go off ... and he did
- Well, now I know Zeb has a thing for Genji. I'm going to assume that was a bit of characterization for the guy, but I don't know what, since I don't know Overwatch
- Zeb with a lighting canon!
- "special hatred for putting punctuation at the end of the last sentence of each paragraph". Took me a re-read to figure out what that was saying (but that's probably me), and I can't figure out how it connects to the setting blending together
- I liked the scene where Zeb was teasing Ave about Tracer and the detective
- The jet exploded. Both agents involved have Problems with explosions. You terrible person.
- I like the line about Ave's mom
- The bit about Ave eyeballing the bar was a good bit of character development, I'd say
- Oh, god, another explosion. ... "Mission, not War". Poor them
- I want to see Ellie reacting to Zeb doing Overwatch impressions now
- Now you've got me thinking about purple v. beige prose
- Zeb, I know you (apparently) like Soldier 76, but please get your hormones under control
- Petition to get Zeb a mini-Bastion! Sign here: :P
- “THE BATTLEFIELD IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE PLACE TO SCOUT OUT A GIRLFRIEND!” was a fun scene
- "Wouldn't we both like to know." was a really nice line
- "Do you think that was typed with one hand?" No, you know it was
- Good luck getting that plane back into HQ, y'all
- Something about the dialogue straddling the line between the last two paragraphs felt off, probably because it took me a moment to realize that "Bet you enjoyed that" was Ave's line.
So, review-wise, pretty good, I think. I don't know Overwatch, so I expect half the jokes flew over my head, but the mission was interesting enough that I didn't feel the urge to put it down in the middle.
- Tomash
Gonna read this!
I remember when you mentionned that mess of a fic back on Discord... Was there anything canon even remotely respected? I liked the interactions between Ave and Zeb, and the throwback mention to the time Ave was... taking extended vacations in the Whoniverse (before the Time War). The type of mini chosen is also just perfect.
Oh, and Ellie... Can you say 'Za', 'Wa', 'Ru', 'Do', please?
The thing with the jet at the museum reminds me of a story of Whateley Academy. The 'villain' was robbing a museum for a scepter, and her cunning plan to escape was to use one old vehicle displayed there. She thought about it a bit more though... she had brought gas jerrycans.
It of course ended the only possible way: after an initial fakeout, the vehicle exploded, propelling her far, far away. Presence of a forcefield protected her from all harm, except the one done to her dignity, who was savagely slaughtered all along the story. Man, was that fun.
Would have been a hilarious ending if it did, though..
And... hm. I think the closest the Stu came to respecting canon was acknowledging that Tracer has a nice butt? ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Anyways, if you're interested, here's the link to the first entry of the series concerning the character who will be facing this clown. The site is going through an overhaul so there are no tags, but searching 'Silver Linings' through the 'S' Stories will let you find the other ones easily.
What's my name is doing here? Nameless Admin, pretty please?