So, like I said to Skarm a couple weeks back, I'm jumping back into reading current spin-offs mid-season, so if there's anything I'm confused by that's due to not keeping up, just ignore that.
I'm also still catching up on internet stuff from that dog-sitting adventure and a schedule change last week, so this review is based on notes I took while reading it last week. I'm sorry for the stale review, but time and sleep haven't been kind to me this week . . . I do plan on hitting your other two missions you've got on the front page, as well, though it may not all be today.
I'm embarrassed to admit, I didn't get the pun in the mission title at first glance. I had a vague inkling that there was a real word that sounded like "fauxpilot," but I couldn't quite pull it out of my brain. Then I saw the fic's original title in the author note, and figured it out. I blame the sleep deprivation . . . anyway, this was a long-winded way of saying that your title is an excellent and clever pun.
I love that you have the Aviator and Zeb using a TARDIS as an RC. Aside from the fact that it makes sense for the Aviator's history, I like that it serves as a callback to the invasion, when the TARDIS distribution got dropped afterwards by pretty much everyone but Tawaki. I like seeing another, newer writer picking up on details from the PPC setting's past.
I like how you handled the lack-of-ending-puntuation issue. Quoting a bunch of paragraphs would have been clunky, so presenting it up-front through your own prose was a much better choice. I also like your explanation that it causes the world to slowly blend together bit by bit, since the "separations" between events and character dialogue are missing. My one cmomplaint on this regard is that you pretty much drop that detail after those opening paragraphs. To be fair, though, the Sue was doing enough throughout the fic that it was probably better to focus on him.
I really, really love that you've got two characters with PTSD-esque reactions to explosions, and you expose them to explosions, but then, rather than turning it into a big, dramatic thing, you let it become these really sweet, quiet moments of support between the characters. Very well done!
One thing I think you could have done a bit more is explain the canflict between Overwatch and Talon. This is the first Overwatch mission, so it would have been nice to get a feel for the nature of the conflict: what each side stands for, why Overwatch was disbanded and reformed, etc. This fic makes things especially confusing, since (if I'm reading it correctly) it seems to be trying to redeem certain Talon characters, like Widowmaker?
I have but one line to complain about:
“Bet you enjoyed that.”
“No amount of therapy sessions can compensate for that,” he said, nodding.
The way this is written, it sounds like Zeb is saying, "Therapy can't make up for how good that assassination felt," which doesn't make sense, since therapy also makes you feel good. I think, rather than "compensate for," you meant a phrase like "compare with" or "compete with?"
—doctorlit