she believes she is ready to return to the Board, that she hasn't been allowed to return yet because we're unwilling or unready to allow her in at this time, and that she disagrees with the reasons we've given for not allowing her back. She also particularly disagrees with Granz's suggested course of action as it has not helped produce an improved mental state in the past.

(My thoughts:
1) Getting a summary of the state of the world "on paper" like Bram asked is a reasonable thing to do, which is why I'm relaying that. I also think this is a decent summary, inasmuch as it applies to us.

2) I disagree (well, there's a very slim chance I'm wrong) with Bram's self-assessment of her ability to return to the Board. This is going off of conversations we've had, among other things.

3) Note: I helped edit this a bit.)

- Tomash

(P.S.: No one involved expects anything to change as a result of this post, including Bram.)

First, I'm with everyone else: there's no way I'm comfortable with Bram returning any earlier than September. We are not marital or any other kind of therapy. If Bram needs that kind of support, she should seek it through appropriate channels.

Second, during my Board vacation, I still kept an eye on the wiki off and on, and Bram has been fairly active over there under the name TooPurple. As I understand it, when someone is banned, they're banned from all PPC community spaces, which includes the wiki. Shall I block them, or was staying off the wiki somehow not a condition of this ban? Please refresh my memory, it's been a while.

Also, are we lacking in wiki admins with the power to block people?

~Neshomeh

P.S. Hi, I'm back! Don't feel like making a separate post about it, though. I'll just slide back into things.

I think that September, at the very least, is the soonest I'm willing to change my mind. Part of this is because, as others have said, we are people who laugh at bad fanfiction and praise the good, not therapists, and I really don't see how coming back here in order to laugh at fanfiction is going to help a marriage. Part of this is because, as far as I have seen, which, admittedly, is not far, Bram usually feels very strongly on a position at any given time, but these positions can change. As someone who has all the consistency of a d1000000, I think that Bram not only needs to spend some time away from the PPC, but some time not thinking about the PPC. I know that Calliope isn't the only one Bram has contacted, asking to be let back into the Discord and/or the Board, which, to my mind, indicates that even while they have not been posting, they have been thinking about the Board, which isn't going to help with purely rational decisions. For myself, at least, when I feel particularly strongly on something, I have been making an effort to take in everything and let my emotions get blown about like a kite in a hurricane, walk away, do something else for a long while, come back, be blown about again, and walk away again, continuing this process several times until I've exhausted my capacity for violent emotion and can actually get logic and emotion to work together like they're supposed to. To me, it sounds like Bram has spent more time on running through the different emotional areas without taking the time to back away and truly not think about the PPC.

To sum it up, I do not think Bram should be allowed back into the Discord chat or the Board, both because it seems they would be looking for emotional assistance of a kind that we are not equipped to give, and because I feel they haven't distanced and distracted themselves enough mentally from the Board and their feelings about both it and everyone here to be able to reach a purely rational decision.

Is the "eim" thing some kind of in-joke or reference? I keep seeing it on Snapchat. Just wondering.

Bram is bad for the PPC and the reverse is equally true. Besides, whatever eir actual motives may be, it really comes off as trying to manipulate a newer member into letting em back in without the appropriate time having passed - a timescale to which e agreed.

I'd like to say I feel sorry for em, and a part of me genuinely does, but I really don't feel like being allowed back into a internet fanfiction community is going to save someone's marriage. If ey're saying e made a mistake with the timescale and that e thinks e should be allowed back into the community basically because reasons, then I've got three words:

Suck. It. Up.

I disappeared from six months. I learned. I grew. I changed. E can and e should and, if e wants to come back, e really rather has to. Sorry to be blunt about all this, but I'm just sick of the constant drama e causes, whether intentional or not.

The PPC is not meant to be a therapy group, and personally, I wouldn’t know how to help with any mental problems. I would abstain rather than actively oppose Bram’s return if this very request didn’t imply that the "finding help and personally improve" we had hoped for did not happen yet.

HG

While I do feel bad for Bram, we've already mentioned that the Boarders are not therapists. Given that Bram apparently wants to rejoin because of the issues in their personal life, I feel that Bram wants to use us that way, and I don't think that will end well.

I'm just going to be blatant here.

Being away from the PPC was supposed to give time to self-improve. What I see here is Bram throwing in the towel.

Having one's husband torn away from them is horrible. It seems like Bram is asking for support. But I have to say no, albeit a soft one.

I do believe that if anyone wants to contact Bram, do it.

I can't quite make all my reasons for that vote coherent, but I'll give some of them.

I've been talking with Bram for a while now. During those discussions, I was asked to make a post requesting her return. I explained to her why making a post like that (such as this one) wouldn't work and would be a bad idea in general (among other things, it makes her earlier departure look insincere).

Yet, despite that advice, which (I've been reassured) made sense and was understood, this thread is up on the Board. This means that, at this time, post-return mentorship might not actually work very well.

This, plus a general feeling that the self-improvement that Bram left to go do hasn't progressed as much as we'd like, leads me to suggest that we re-open this discussion in a few months at the earliest.

- Tomash

As I said earlier this year, I don't feel that the PPC is a healthy place for Bramandin.

I do hope eis husband gets through the military duty safely and soundly.

—doctorlit

But I have to disagree with you. I think it's straight-up too soon, and my conversations with Bram in the recent and not-so recent past make me think that e would not be helped by returning to the community.

And, honestly? If someone isn't stable enough that being excluded from a community that hurt them (from their perspective) is enough to cause serious issues? They need to be working on stability rather than getting back into the community that hurt them. The part where they also hurt people in this community only compounds that fact.

Bottom line is, from where I'm sitting (and from where a few others I've talked to who weren't comfortable speaking up directly), this really strikes me as being too soon, and all around a bad idea.

When they do return, I would also like to suggest some pretty strong guardrails - a mentor, or perhaps multiple mentors, with the authority to say "stop this conversation" on pain of kicking/banning if she doesn't. I think that's going to be necessary to avoid spiralling misunderstandings of the sort that have caused some of the problems in the past.

Bram is, to be frank, Hella Toxic.

They're like... I don't know... I can't put this delicately. Manipulative

Let's start at the relative beginning: Bram's first few missions. They posted it and everyone went ahead and gave their constructive criticism. Fairly par for the course. Put it is how they reacted to it that set off warning flares for me, specifically towards Iximaz. They accused Ix of completely and utterly hating them just because of some concrit.

Now Bram went ahead and disappeared shortly after this occasionally coming back to drop a mission or two, post a few messages, and leave. Ignoring any Concrit given as far as I know.

And then March happens.

We all know what happened in March.

Let's not remind ourselves about it or repeat it.

So Bram comes along and starts trying to communicate with Ix. Only Ix keeps on telling them no. Keep in mind that Ix is going through a lot of personal and mental stuff right. Eventually Ix has to go to the board... which starts this $#1+ Show.

Tl;Dr: Bram repeatedly tries to gain sympathy points, but the board looks at it and, in a broad generalization, says: "This is not somewhere where your sanity and well-being are safe. It's for your own good that we want you to leave."

So after a while, as well as some unwanted phone numbers being sent, Bram leaves for a bit.

Rounding up my thoughts on the matter: I fully and wholly believe that Bram should not be let back in. I don't want to see anyone get hurt more than what Bad Fanfiction brings, and if keeping someone out is what it takes then so be it.

I'm done with dealing with this whole Bram stuff.

Just cut me out from any of it.

What can an underage bloke do to get a drink around here.