Subject: Hmmm. Hard to say, exactly.
Author:
Posted on: 2017-03-21 03:17:00 UTC
This might sound weird and backwards, but my instinct is actually that we have an obsession with rooting out bullies that seems to often turn into bullying. Rather than focusing on behavior, we focus on people. I was one person who thought July's behavior was bullying, several years ago, but since her behavior of late has been eminently reasonable - when she's even been around, which is rarely - it made absolutely no sense to target her as The Bully. To bring up an historical moment, back when the big IRC drama broke, there was also that question of Who Is/Are The Real Bullies Here? It was a moot point; both parties engaged in bad behavior. Likewise, as soon as the "witch hunt" scandal broke, and it became obvious that July was the victim here, not the perpetrator, the tide turned and folk went looking for a new bully figure - which turned out to be you (or, depending on who you ask, Desdendelle). This has been a pattern in the past. Data and Toroll's behavior was a serious problem; rather than along with addressing trolling, we fixated on Is Data Enough of a Jerk to Ban* and Who Is Toroll, which I still think was/is an almost entirely useless question. Frequently hS comes up as target for Tyrannical Dictator of PPC Discussion because people listen to his opinion. Less frequently, Neshomeh gets tarred with a less-opaque version of that brush.
Only rarely have we had open-and-shut cases of bullies as the horns-and-pitchfork version we like them to be. Usually it's more like this. July has a problem with Matt Cipher. She disengages with him. He pokes her on a public space and she calls him out, then, because Matt Is Not A Bully (you can tell, we're friends with him and he doesn't have horns or a pitchfork), people tell July off for causing a ruckus. If Matt had enough people mad at him, I'm guessing it would have gone the other way. I have a problem with Scapegrace's recent behavior, because they flew off the handle and sent cruel messages to July, openly proclaimed their hypocrisy in a Board thread without really apologizing for it, denied involvement in the witch hunt, but Scapegrace isn't "A Bully," they're a person who performed behaviors that were hurtful and problematic. I honestly think that if we addressed behaviors rather than people, we'd be dealing with the problem far more effectively, but banhammers, to quote a wise and sensible person, are a blunt force tool, not a precision instrument, and rather than address issues by enforcing mediation (which enables a "You as a person do this behavior, and it needs to stop" approach), we usually address them by calling for, then voting on, a ban (which encourages a "You as a person did this, and you need to be punished" approach).
Good grief was that a lengthy and complicated answer to a simple question.
TL;DR We need to address behaviors and not people. Punishing people is an ineffective means to address change in a community.
*Graduated-length banning was one step away from this Punish People Who Are Bad mentality, and a step in the right direction, but I think it didn't go far enough.