(I don't even know how to deal with everything that's come out up-Board, so I'm starting here. Good god, y'all.)
Okay, so. Aegis. I understand that you are concerned for Iximaz's well-being. I am, too—and I apologize for talking about you of necessity here, Iximaz, but I believe I've expressed more or less what I'm about to say here to you before, so I hope it doesn't seem to come out of nowhere. Also, please know that this goes for anyone with mental health issues and the people who love them, not just you and Aegis.
Before going on, let me establish my credentials on this subject. I've been around the block with various forms of mental illness throughout my life (31 years, 32 this June, if anyone's wondering). Substance abuse, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and borderline personality disorder are all present in my family—all at once, in my dad's case. I've dealt with several friends when they were talking about suicide, one of whom was my boyfriend at the time. I've been in therapy and been prescribed medication for depression with anxiety myself. Also, my mom worked in the mental health field for roughly twenty years, and she taught me many skills that I've used to successfully navigate those situations.
Please bear all that in mind when I tell you, you need to understand that Iximaz must take responsibility for her own issues and her own choices. My understanding is that she had trust issues before joining the PPC, and that they may in fact be a symptom of her condition. If her illness prevents her from giving us an honest chance to prove that we will take her seriously, or from recognizing the good will of people toward her when it is rampantly on display, there isn't a single thing any of us can do about that. It's not our fault she has these deeply ingrained issues, and it's not our fault if she isn't doing what she needs to do to work through them.
Further, if she is not making responsible choices about when to interact with the community and when not to based on her mood/health status, that is not acceptable, and it falls to us as her friends to hold her accountable for it. We are not obliged to tolerate outbursts like this from anyone, especially not if we like them and wish to see them continue to be a valued member of the PPC community and society at large.
If she cannot make responsible choices for herself, that has very serious implications which go beyond what any of us can handle, because we are not trained mental health professionals. I caution you against making that argument unless you're prepared to accept those implications.
I believe, and I want Iximaz to believe, that she does have the power, the personal agency, the ability to make responsible choices for herself. It may take practice, and mistakes may happen, but that doesn't mean we should lower our expectations. That's as bad as saying she can't do it; see above paragraph.
So, yes, I stand by what I said, and I recommend that you think long and hard about whether denying Iximaz's responsibility for her actions is really helpful to her in the long run.
~Neshomeh
