Cheeeeeeeeeers!

A Casual Conversation Between Gentlepersons by Alleb and Larfen on 2017-02-16 21:34:00 UTC Reply

In this inspirational story based on true events from the lives of both authors, a half-man-half-fungus gets his arm broken by an incredibly pale woman with glinting eyes.

Brilliantly beta'd by Iximaz and Scapegrace, this stunning interlude defined a generation and will live on as a classic within the PPC canon.*

And now, without further delay:

A Casual Conversation Between Gentlepersons.

-Alleb and Larfen, merged into one superentity

*Did not actually define a generation and may or may not live on as a classic within the PPC canon.

Absolutely wonderful. by Neshomeh on 2017-02-20 05:44:00 UTC Reply

I wish I had proper concrit for you on why it's wonderful, but I'm afraid I was just killing time before bed, and my brain is not at its best. But, I laughed, and I enjoyed the characters and the action, and that's pretty much that. {= )

I did notice a misplaced comma, though, at the end of the ‘And then I hit her’ before Maz says 'Is she nice?' It should be a period.

Also, the quotes around Alleb's speech “I think we ought to fight one another" ought to be single-quotes to match the rest of the story. I'm pretty sure all the rest are quotes within quotes, but you might want to double-check to make sure.

~Neshomeh

It is!? by Larfen J. Stocke, esq. on 2017-02-20 06:27:00 UTC Reply

Well. That's proper cool, that is. I, er, I feel like squeeing and such would be a bit weird, in general, so I won't. But, lemme say, considering how much I bloody love your writing and stories and such... Well.
I'm a bit happy about this!
I'll assume Alleb is, too, but we've separated our masses and become two separate individuals, so I don't know her thoughts or anything like that.

Glad you enjoyed it! Cheers for pointing out them SPaG problems. Got them all sorted and such.

Phew. Phew

That was a lot of fun. by Hieronymus Graubart on 2017-02-19 13:25:00 UTC Reply

I like the tension created by the non-linear setup, the different ways Alleb, Yocherry and the not so omniscient narrator tell the story, their respective partners different reactions, the vivid fighting scenes and gentlepersonly conversations …

In the end, we didn't get the full story from any point of view. But that's not a bad thing, it just tickles the imagination.

There's actually nothing I didn't like, except this:
He glanced at it his arm
and
He couldn’t even even shift

HG

That was, indeed, the intention. by Larfen J. Stocke, esq. on 2017-02-19 20:40:00 UTC Reply

Suppose we can generally mark this one down as a victory, oy?

Thank youuuu, for reading the fic and enjoying it and explaining what you liked in such a way as to imply that Alleb and I (or probably just I, honestly,) knew what we (but probably just I,) were (was) doing!
And also for pointing out those SPaG problems! They were both on my end. Er.
I'm getting better!

I ought to write this a proper review by Cat-on-the-Keyboard on 2017-02-18 18:59:00 UTC Reply

Instead of just squealing at Larfen in private chat. But really, this is super funny, and made my day, and all that stuff. I don't have anything critical to say (although I may have simply used up my supply of concrit explaining to a vole I found in the Pit thereof why it's probably a Bad Idea to write a story about a seven-year old Harry Potter being "rescued" by an unnaturally beautiful woman who is the personification of Death and trained by demons to fight Voldemort)(I'm an idealist, okay? Suethors can be saved!).

Anyway, good work and I hope to see more from you both!

--Key

No worries! by Larfen J. Stocke, esq. on 2017-02-19 01:24:00 UTC Reply

Always nice to know you've done a good job, oy? Bloody awesome, knowing you found it funny, anyhow. Glad you enjoyed it!
Was there anything, in particular, you enjoyed?

Also, what's that fanfic? It sounds like a jolly good time.

A review-like pile of words by Tomash on 2017-02-16 23:56:00 UTC Reply

So, I liked it. The story was funny, the meta-humor was silly without seeming overdone, and the interlude helped me get a better sense of the characters of everyone involved. The plot made sense even with the rather non-linear layout of scenes, so you don't need to worry about that.

However, one apparent typo: "‘Hey, uh, dude,’ She said." (shouldn't that be lowercase?).

Also, not a typo, but it took me two tries to figure out "... was not on that list [paragraph break] She was. [paragraph break]", since the paragraph break there sort of threw me off and made it non-obvious what that sentence was referring to.

Other than than, good stuff. I'm looking forward to more work from Larfleb (or is it Alfen?) in the future. (Are you the first geographically distributed superentity that posts on the Board? I think you might be.)

Cheeeeeeeeeers! by Larfen J. Stocke, esq. on 2017-02-17 04:18:00 UTC Reply

You might see a bit more Alfen (Larfleb?) in the future, but you got to remember that merging our minds and bodies takes years of channelling and uses huge amounts of Ki-energy. It's a long process that involves lots of chanting and posing.

Cheers for reading the story, and also for the SPaG stuff! It's all been sorted (both of the issues were on my part. Ent that a surprise, eh?)
I am glad you enjoyed it, and that the spooky structure didn't throw it off and that the whole thing worked! Huzzah!

And, I mean. It wouldn't surprise me, if that were the case!