Subject: Happy regular February 12th!
Author:
Posted on: 2017-02-13 04:04:00 UTC
Since you've made it all real vague, I've decided to collect all the facts and study all the data and I have come to the conclusion that, not only is it not your birthday, you, in fact, never were born, having instead sprouted from a tree like a lemon.
My gift upon you is: a pack of fish and chips to be squeezed onto! Because you're a lemon!
Happy regular February the 12th!
Well, a few years ago, but essentially at roughly these spatial coordinates in Earth's orbit.
Probably.
. . . Or I just want attention so I'm lying to get everyone to tell me happy birthday. You'll never know!
. . . But I'm probably not, February 12th would be a really specific day to lie about.
. . . Or maybe I am, since it'd be in my favor to pick a random date.
. . . But probably not. Ambiguity is my superpower.
Either way, since I've either fooled Discord into believing me, or Discord has discovered the date of my birth thanks to the efforts of Iximaz (and revealing which of the two possibilities would be telling), I thought I'd give in and post here, to add my obfuscations to the Board at large.
-Aegis, a man of mystery
Please have a black-hole chocolate cake. All of it, as an apologise for being late.
Oh, well. Happy birthday! Yet again, you have defied the Fates and cheated Thanatos. Your reward is cake. Delicious cake.
I look forward to getting to know you better as I spend more time on the Board!
...Earth orbits around the Sun, yes, but on a grander scale, the Sun orbits the galactic core and our galaxy is part of a local cluster of galaxies which are interacting via gravity. Earth never sweeps the same sectors of space because our entire solar system is also moving.
But that's besides the point. Happy 2π around the Sun day!
It was a book talking about various things paranormal. Said entry discussed time travel.
Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY AEGIS
Since you've made it all real vague, I've decided to collect all the facts and study all the data and I have come to the conclusion that, not only is it not your birthday, you, in fact, never were born, having instead sprouted from a tree like a lemon.
My gift upon you is: a pack of fish and chips to be squeezed onto! Because you're a lemon!
Happy regular February the 12th!
Have a box. It is rumored to contain a gift, which people say is a sugar bowl. Believe what you will, but keep it secret, keep it safe.
--Key isn't even sure what she's referencing at this point
Congratulations on being supremely confusing and ambiguous. Have some cake!
Blows GIANT NOISEMAKER CANNON! Hope I didn't blow your ear drums out! Congratulations on growing a year older through perfectly natural processes!