Alright, so, I've sort've said this on Discord, and because I am a broken robot, doomed to say what it has once said again and again and again and what it has once said again and again and again and again, et al, I'll say it again: from a visceral point of view, it bloody works. It's a very rough, ugly situation, and the atmosphere made in it gets that across. It's uncomfortable feeling, it is. There are various moments where it delves into their individual thoughts (which sounds really quite trite right now, considering that all stories ought to do that, but give me a moment) and those are delivered in such a way as to get across that atmosphere.
Things like:
'He really did look like Gavan, and her hearts clenched at the thought. Gavan was dead, why should this even matter; why should she even care at this point?'
And: 'But he was hurting too. Only thing he had going for him was some stupid promise—some need to earn death, before he could finally go. Why shouldn't he do this?'
That self-doubt and discomfort is very evident, and, well. Relateable, I suppose, solely through delivery.
I mean, there's also odours. Odours can make anything look ugly.
So, this is probably stylistic, or some such. And I will admit to, at the very least, not having yet read all of the Aviator's stuff.
But I'll, er. Admit, I do find the Time Lord angst thing a little tiring, I don't want to say 'Oh, make them have a happy jolly good time and buy balloon animals and such!' because, er. That's very trite, indeed, it wouldn't work, it's a clumsy solution, et al.
But from what I've been seeing with these fellows, it really is near constant. I suppose I can say this more convincingly with the Detective (bloody sorry Aegis, but, er. Y'know, haven't finished Ave's stuff, have finished yours, and such. Sorry, mate,) but I honestly cannot think of a single story or RP involving them where there isn't some form of angst.
And not to say angst is bad, or to say that having writing centred around angst and angsty characters having generally angsty times is bad, but I feel there ought to be a better balance!
I mean, again - I can't think of a single story or RP thingo involving one've the two without some form of angst, and it, as with all overused sort of things, is beginning to feel a bit off, as it were.
So, er. Does the story work? Do what it's (I assume, anyhow,) what it's meant to do?
Yes! Well!
Did I get a little bit miffed when they mentioned that war, again?
Yes. I did. A little.
Is at least half of what I'm saying really, really stylistic-based and subjective?
Most likely.
I'll say that you two certainly did something, whatsit, out of the box? Brave?
Brrrph, I dunno.
It took bollocks to do this sort've story, is what I'm saying, shake up status quo and such like that. And, I mean, it was ultimately delivered well, wasn't it?
So, brilliant job, there.
I mean, I'm certainly interested in seeing where it goes!
Got a little thread at the end there with Zeb, and all.
And perhaps Ave and Dee'll get forced into a mission together, and we'll have the first mission in PPC history in which a pair of agents avoid eye-contact for the entire time.